ALL OF THEIR CHARM
is a lie, but hard to resist
PREVIOUS: Psychopath RED FLAGS #2
BOOKs: “Psychopath FREE”
2. SOCIAL Manipulation (in Part 2)
3. GENERAL (cont)
• Physical — Psychopaths need very little sleep – maybe 4-5 hrs a night. They’re always on the go, searching for new stimulation
— Research indicates they have a poor sense of smell – have a hard time identifying something or knowing the difference between smells
— They seem to have little or no body odor, maybe from frequent showers, carrying deodorant or a change of clothes – all to make a good impression
• No startle response – they have a total absence of anxiety, fear & worry – where there would be in a ‘normal’ person. They always seem to be calm, rarely stressed or nervous. This may be the result of decreased activity in the amygdala (emotion center of the brain)
No boundaries – they invade personal space, standing too close. Research shows that ‘cold-hearted’ (inter-personally aloof) people prefer less distance between themselves & others. It may be a subtle symptom of aggression, as in “In your face”
• Lie & make excuses – about everything, even when it’s not necessary, & can make up lies faster than you can question them
• Hating – they’re obsessed with humiliating anyone who is successful, kind & cheerful, like delighting in breaking up friendships & marriages
• Thirst for attention & adoration is obsessive & insatiable. You thought you were the only one who could make them happy, but now you feel that anyone with a pulse could fill the role. They will drain you dry, but no one can fill the void in a psychopath’s soul
4. REACTIONS (Results in you, the ‘Receiver’ of P-A)
• Denial – You feel on edge around this person, but you still want them to like you. You write off most of their questionable behavior as accidental or insensitive, because you’re insecure & in constant competition with others for their attention & praise
• No fighting – you’re afraid that any way you disagree with them could be the end. Normal couples argue to resolve issues, but psychopaths make it clear that unpleasant conversations will jeopardize the relationship, especially anything to do with their behavior. You apologize & forgive quickly, otherwise you know they’ll lose interest
• Research – You find yourself playing detective, looking for answers to a feeling you can’t quite explain. It’s never happened in your other relationship, but suddenly you’re checking their old emails, cell phone texts, search logs, old Facebook pages & pics, about their ex…..
• Explaining (a) – You desperately ask them to imagine how they’d feel if you treated them in a hurtful way, but they just stare at you blankly. No adult should have to be told how they are making other people feel. But psychopaths can’t seem to put themselves in your shoes, or anyone else’s either. If it doesn’t bother them, why would it bother you?
• Explaining (b) You find yourself trying to get across the basic elements of human respect to a full-grown adult. ‘Normal’ people understand the fundamental concepts of honesty & kindness, but not a psychopath. They don’t have a conscience.
• Insecurity – During & after the relationship, you’ll spend a lot more time in front of the mirror. (Thank You to “ckwanderlust” for their valuable insights)
.• Crazed – After being around a psychopath for a while, you’ll feel insane, exhausted, drained, shocked, suicidal & empty. You’ve torn your entire life apart for them – spending money, ending friendships, searching for some sort of reason behind it all. None of it worked & there is no sane explanation. Psychopaths are hollow, deliberately using people & then discarding them like soiled clothes.
It’s not you! Their treatment was never about you! What you’re responsible for is staying with someone who mistreated you. That you can change – but never them!
KNOWLEDGE – If you’re wise enough to be on the outside looking at the psychopath, you may be the only one who knows that something’s seriously wrong with them. But no one will listen. Psychopaths are able to maintain superficial friendships far longer than ‘intimate’ relationships.
Friends, family, co-workers will think he/she is great, even though they’ve been taken advantage of, even outright scammed. Unfortunately, ‘victims’ won’t object because they’re strategically distracted with shallow attention & praise – often on social media.
All you can do is say what is true & then let go!
NOTE: These Red Flags have been updated, based on survey responses from more than 1,000 survivors! Qs which also include info on Arrogance, Covert Gossiping……
NEXT: Being ‘Right’ #1