I JUST WANT TO BE LIKED
so let me help you!

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SITE: Type 2 Overview

LEVELS by TYPE (cont.)

TYPE 2 – HELPERS / Mentors
♦︎ Healthy – Expresses Self-nurturing & Unconditional love. Able to shine with generosity & healing power.
♦︎ Unhealthy – Conversion-reactions & Psychosomatic problems. Hindered by people-pleasing & possessiveness.

HEALTHY 2s: Human welfare-causes are very important to them.
♦︎ The Humanitarian: they are altruistic, appreciative, caring, considerate, compassionate, empathetic, encouraging, generous, inter-personal, kind & warm-hearted.

● Altruism overcomes the 2’s flaw of Pride (in their ability to help/love), helping them fulfill their own needs & become more self-aware.  The highly value service & making connections, are able to love unconditionally, see the bigger picture & want to make a difference in the world – not just with loved ones. Others feel supported & cared for.
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AVERAGE 2s:  They put the needs of others ahead of their own.
♦︎ The Helper: They’re caring & considerate, sensitive to the needs of others – particularly loved ones, BUT often intrusive, interfering & meddlesome, even overbearing – in the name of “just trying to help”,

● They want self-determination & freedom (from pain). But this desire is corrupted into freeing others instead of themself, but this effort is an illusion. They’re giving – but selfishly – expecting a return, are emotionally demonstrative / overly friendly, do more talking than helping, have ‘good intentions’.  They need to be needed, want others to depend on them & send double message, so people may feel ‘conned’ because the 2’s flattery can seem insincere (it’s just ‘too much’).
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UNHEALTHY 2s:  “I will sacrifice myself for others”
♦︎ The Martyr: They’re out of touch with their own needs, have no identity beyond their closest relationships & will unravel if they lose them. This makes them intrusive, giving-to-get (strings attached), manipulative & possessive.
They become domineering, which actually subverts their basic goal of being helpful. Use guilt about how much they’ve suffered, while excusing & rationalizing when they act badly, from rage at being abuse & victimized.

 

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INTEGRATION (Loops)
♦︎ Healthy loop: The Basic Desire of ‘Needing to be loved’ pushes 2s to help others – appropriately, which makes them loved, so the need is satisfied & balance is reached.

♦︎ Average state: 2s rescue instead of help, so they don’t feel loved, causing the need to increase. If 2s to learn how to love correctly, balance will be created.

♦︎ Unhealthy loop is run by Basic Fear of ‘being unloved’, which can make 2s resentful & try to manipulate others into loving them. This tends to make people love them even less, further increasing 2s’ basic fear & preventing balance.

♦︎ LENS you see the world thru: “What are other people feeling? What do they need? How can I meet their needs?”
♦︎ GROWTH: Stop manipulating others & help with respect & boundaries.

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LEVEL 5 in BIZ (Mid-Average)
AS LEADERS
At this level 2s can be effective leaders, but may place themself as the power behind the throne, which keeps them from having to deal personally with hostility or rejection. 2s are sometimes referred to as ‘servant leaders’ who reverse the traditional structure of an organization, so that everyone serves the front-line staff who deal directly with the public.
YOU:
— are very concerned with image
— align with powerful key figures
— emphasize identifying needs & fulfilling them
— are focused on people. Lead by empowering, engaging & inspiring
— are interested in developing key people & relationships
— tend to allow or promote an ‘in group’, with the inevitable ‘out group’ who is ignored by the 2
— measure your success by your effect on employees & customers

SUPERVISING Average Type 2 WORKERS
Never take a 2s employee for granted – give them genuine appreciative comments for work well-done. Their love of connections with others does not mean disloyalty to the boss. They’ll jump to implement a half-baked business idea the boss is tossing around, thinking to get praise for their usefulness, but instead get in trouble. So be clear about what you want from them or don’t want done
THEY:
— prefer dealing with others face-to-face
— seek approval by always trying to be helpful
— need to be appreciated, otherwise may ‘go on strike’ (stop helping)
— place a high priority on having their emotional needs met
— want to be attractive to others, so at this level are people-pleasers
— either love or hate others, depending on how they’re treated
— need strong guidance at the beginning of a project, but once on their feet they perform well.
(From: Global Leadership Foundation)

NEXT: Type 3 level