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SITEs: ☼ History of Attachment Theory
☼ “What is Somatic Experiencing ?”
ATTACHMENT THEORY can be considered a variation of Object Relations Theory. It tries to understand & clarify people’s emotional connections throughout their lives, first with parents & then with everyone else. Attachment styles may vary & change over time, but we all have a tendency to favor the ‘original’ one.
When positive : the basic idea is that the primary caregiver (an emotionally healthy mother) who is available & responsive to an infant’s needs – allows the child to develop a sense of security. Because she’s dependable, the child will feel safe, & so is comfortable to explore the world.
Attachment styles don’t develop overnight. A few really positive or negative interactions with parent(s) / primary caregiver(s) are unlikely to have a permanent impact.
▪︎ Rather – it’s by repetitive interactions – either frustrating or rewarding – that attachment styles take shape.
In addition to parental behavior, a child’s inborn temperament plays an important role in creating that bond.
According to attachment theory, formative relationships serve as a psychological foundation of personality, from which we develop —
‣ an understanding of how relationships work
‣ what to expect from other people
‣ how safe or “secure” we feel in any relationship
Our style can be thought of as the “lens” through which we see ourselves with others. If it’s blurry or cracked, we’ll experience inter-personal interactions -at best- as slightly ‘off’, -at worst- as very distorted.
Children have a built-in drive to seek proximity in order to bond with a primary caretaker (usually the mother). This is a highly adaptive survival strategy that ideally leads to the child’s ability to :
— manage stress
— explore the world without undue fear
— develop a coherent sense of Self in relation to others.
The child’s tie to the mother is called —> ‘attachment’, whereas the mother’s tie to her child is called —-> the ‘care-giving bond’.
Developmental psychologist Mary Ainsworth defined ‘normal’ attachment as “An affectional tie that one person or animal forms between themself & another specific one – that binds them together in physical space, & endures over time.”
It involves a desire for regular contact with that person, & produces distress when separated from them.
3 Key Propositions of SECURE attachment (Bowlby)
First – When children are raised with the confidence that their primary caregiver will be available to them – they’re less likely to experience fear throughout their life – than those who are raised without such conviction.
Secondly – this confidence is forged during a critical period of development – throughout infancy, childhood & adolescence. The expectations formed in those years tend to remain relatively unchanged for the rest of the person’s life
Finally – these expectations are a direct result of the child’s experiences. Their assumption is that caregivers will continue to be responsive to their needs, because those people (parents….) have been responsive in the past.
4 Distinguishing characteristics of attachment:
Proximity Maintenance – The desire to be near the people we’re attached to
Safe Haven – Returning to the attachment figure for comfort & safety in the face of a fear or threat
Secure Base – The attachment figure acts as a base of security from which the child can explore the surrounding environment
Separation Distress – Anxiety that occurs in the absence of the attachment figure
Q : What causes differences in styles?
ANS : A combination of inborn differences in the infant, & how they respond to a variety of parental treatment over time
SECURE infants are more likely to have parents who are consistently, appropriately able to attend the child’s needs
EXPs: Feed infant when hungry, rather than on a set schedule
– Cuddle baby at times other than when feeding or changing
INSECURELY attached – results from the mother (or other caretaker) being less sensitive, less responsive &/or inconsistent
EXPs: Feed infant only when convenient for parent
– Sometimes ignore baby’s cry of hunger
– Avoid physical contact with baby as much as possible, or only to harm it (slap, shake, yell at….)
NEXT : Attachment INTRO #2