Organizational Politics – EFFECTS

PREVIOUS:
Causes of Organizational Politics (#1) 

 

 


Three Types of Political Power
🌗 Amoral   – Used by a leader to ‘automatically’ manipulate others, with no conscious awareness of their own motivating fears & desires

🌚 Immoral – Used by a leader who consciously understands how to influence others, yet without any self- awareness of what drives them to act.
🔻Because they deliberately, knowingly manipulates others, they carry a greater moral responsibility for the results.

🌕 Moral  – Used by a leader who consciously examines, evaluates & understands their own motivation, fears & desires – before using their knowledge of others in order to influence them. (MORE….)

2. EFFECTS of Organizational Politics (orgP)

√ It creates a negative work environment
It’s well known that most uses of orgP harm office environments, with a direct negative impact on employee efficiency . OrgP spoils the relationship between employees, so people who indulge in this tactic are generally disliked by others.

√ It increases stress
Because orgP insures an atmosphere of distrust & work insecurity, workers are afraid to openly air legitimate concerns in the work environment or about how the company is being run – causing anxiety

√ It de-motivates employees
Every day employees have o deal with intolerable situations to them, such as seeing a lazy or incompetent co-worker getting the “Best” award just because they’re close to the senior manager & have taken credit for someone else’s work – using orgP

√ It decreased productivity levels
People engrossed in orgP pay less attention to work & more on gossip, rumors, incessant talks and underhand activities. Their time is used to tease, back-bite & criticize their co-workers – so that office work & projects have less  importance & personal preference.

As a result, these employees have a negative impact on the overall productivity of the organization by not reaching company targets within the required time, their work being delayed or postponed.

√ It impacts employee attitude
The most critical effect of orgP is the impact of negative emotion on employee attitudes. They lose interest in & commitment to their work because they feel their efforts are not being recognized. They end up coming to the office just for the paycheck & form habit.

√ It lowers levels of concentration
Employees engrossed in orgP find it hard to concentrate on work. They’re more interested in dragging others down & spoiling someone’s image than their own projects. Such people become over-confident about their abilities, so tend to make mistakes as their focus is on non-work-related games.

√ It promoted bad information
A basic effect of orgP is that wrong information is passed from one person to another – because manipulation is one of its characteristics. Managers and supervisors are told edited versions of ‘reality’, so their perception of what’s happenings in the workplace tends to be quite different from reality.
EXP:  A deserving employee is left without a voice, while an undeserving one gets away with acknowledgement, even rewards.

MYTHS re. Work Politics
1.  
You can either be a good person, or you can play politics
UNTRUE : inter-office politics can be used ethically to help reach goals.

2. You can escape office politics
UNTRUE : all humans use informal, unofficial, sometimes behind-the-scenes efforts – in every part of life – to position themselves, their interests & their priorities.

3. Politics don’t affect your career
UNTRUE : it benefits you to talk about your accomplishments, highlighting the positive impact you’re having on the organization & why that matters.

4. Politics disappear in virtual environment
UNTRUE : most humans are driven by informal & political interactions rather than by the formal & prescribed.

5. Political intelligence is an inherent trait
UNTRUE : while some people are naturally better at orgP than others – it’s a skills that can be learned, & needs to be practiced to be mastered. (MORE…)

Reframe what “politics” means to you : Do you –
– suck up or focus on building & understanding new relationships?
– get resentful & irritated that you need to have several smaller meetings before a big one, or recognize the power of being prepared, laying the groundwork to give your ideas the best chance of success?
– view informal conversations as lobbying (with all the negative connotations it can carry) or do you see them as doing important homework? (MORE….)

NEXT : POSITIVE orgP

Organizational Politics – CAUSES

PREVIOUS:  4 Types of BIZ Politics (#1)

SITE: Workplace Politics (en.Wikipedia)

 

🌐 ORGANIZATIONAL POLITICS (orgP) is inevitable
Most employees want to climb the ladder of success, but since ladders are narrow & steep, only a few can move up, & slowly. Having to compete for limited resources (a better position) makes orgP irresistible.
Some people have more power & authority than others, often indulging in orgP – because they can. And some are politically savvy, using it to get their way.
EXP : orgP is a common tool to remove others from the rung below to eliminate competition.

1. Negative / Weak USES of Organizational Politics
√ Blame game
Leaders & employees will complain about the company & criticize others using orgP as power plays, because people generally ignore or deny their own shortcomings, shifting the blame on to others

√ Can’t adjust to change
Change is a part of any org, so employees need to accept the fact & deal with it. But some have emotional trouble adjusting, or like the way things are for themselves. Changes can lead to some workers benefitting while others will lose out is some way. Those on the losing side may lash out with underhanded & indirect actions – to undermine those who willingly & happily accepted the new agenda.

√ Changes in upper levels
Getting ahead by hook or by crook is orgP at its worst. When there’s a new boss or manager, some employees get busy trying to score brownie points. After a while, it can become less about positioning themselves as the ‘best’, & more about demeaning, bad-mouthing & questioning abilities of the one who’s been promoted, to undermine their authority.

√ Don’t want to work hard
Some people want everything that life has to offer – without making an effort to achieve those benefits by hard work. They’re always looking for short-cuts to be in the limelight – unjustly, & orgP is a tool to create a negative image of the people they think are hogging the rungs of the corporate ladder.

√ Gossiping
A virulent reasons for office politics is the habit of many employees to include unnecessary, inappropriate or harmful chatter about co-workers & management, used as ‘social currency’ or an indirect way to get back at someone disliked.

√ Jealousy
Jealousy can creep in between co-workers if someone is smarter, & especially if their efforts are appreciated by the top brass. Not wanting a colleague to get more attention & rewards, the insecure will use orgP tactics to tarnish the ’favorite’s’ image & reputation.

√ Lack of clarity
Unclear leadership roles, guidelines & goals in an org. can lead to unfounded accusations of management, & encourages rumor mills to run amok. These are often based on assumptions & perceptions instead of facts, leading to orgP.

√ Manipulation
If an employee wants to mislead his superior they’ll try to manipulate them by passing along abreviated or totally false  information, with the help of orgP.

√ Personal relationships
Using Personal Relationships as leverage to get what a person wants – has no place in a professional environment.
When a boss supports the need or idea of a colleague or subordinate because of friendship (a use of orgP) – instead of what’s best for the company – they can cause harm to the whole.

Promotions are rare
When several employees are vying for a specific position, some will inevitably revert to orgP. Ambitious workers can become aggressive, & in their zeal to reach the coveted post they start spreading suspicion & rumors about potential rivals. This perpetuates a climate of mistrust, limiting the health of the org.

√ Reward system
Most businesses have reward systems to encourage employees to give their best. Sometimes this backfires, becoming a trigger for orgP. if everyone wants to grab the so-called rewards.
This can lead to unhealthy competition, so that employees start sabotaging their colleagues’ work – in their obsession to outdo others.

√ Struggle for power
When someone moves up the corporate ladder, opportunities for others to do so will lessen, so they may put in extra effort to prove themselves & stand out. Those who ambitiously struggle for power – but lack confidence – will start acting superior at the expense of others, using negative orgP activities.

NEXT : RESULTS of orgP (#2)

POWER – 4 Types of BIZ Politics (Part 2)

PREVIOUS : 4 Quadrants (#1)

SITE : 8-Step Process for Leading Change

 

POLITICAL LANDSCAPES (cont)
Summary :
☛ The Weeds – where personal influence & informal networks rule
☛ The Rocks – where power rests on individual interactions & formal sources of authority
☛ The High ground – which combines formal authority & organizational systems
☛ The Woods – the organization’s implicit norms, hidden assumptions & unspoken routines. 

The HIGH GROUND – Organizational, formal
This category of political terrain is about the rules, structures, policy guidelines & procedures that form the basis of political activities. They benefit by providing a check against the whims of individual charismatic or autocratic individuals – which provides guide rails for the Rocks.

This isn’t the “moral high ground,” although it’s useful for legal & ethical reasons. Rather, it’s a functional political process of control systems, incentives & sanctions that keep the organization on track.

However, rules & procedures can make a company overly ‘bureaucratic’, used as a political device to stifle anti-establishment ideas, preventing needed reforms & improvements.
In contrast, creating a ‘working space’ outside or along side of habitual norms & routines is vital for innovation & growth.

If a company finds itself stranded on a too rigid High Ground, then feedback from clients, customers or end-users can highlight difficulties which point out how the current structure of doing business is hampering it.
Since organizations with a dysfunctional High Ground tend to be risk-averse, savvy leadership must emphasize that -not changing- can be even riskier than trying something new.

EXP : A public agency was hampered in stopping potential fraud because of slow-moving processes & formalized steps. It meant that millions in tax revenues were not collected at the end of the year.
Actions: Senior leaders set up a dedicated task force outside the formal organizational structure to solve the issue.
Results: After the first year, the problem had been reduced by over 50%, reaching a 95% recovery rate by the second year. The organization then changed its official processes to match the improved methods.

The WOODS – Organizational, informal
Organizations also have implicit norms, hidden assumptions & unspoken routines. These informal guidelines & procedures can provide cover & safety for individuals, or be a bewildering place where good ideas & necessary changes get lost.

Strongly implicit norms define what’s socially acceptable & unacceptable in the organization, so they’re never even questioned.
EXPOne study identified the unspoken ‘normalization’ of unacceptable emotions, & so remained marginalized or ignored.
Other studies listed industries where “emotional norms” specifically dictate how workers are to behave & respond to their tasks, such as the ever-smiling flight attendant, or the ‘good cop / bad cop’ routine for bill-collecting.

Some organizations get lost in their Woods.
EXP: A large telecom company in the middle of a restructuring exercise needed deep cuts to bring it through a debt crisis caused by falling revenues. The Senior Director who developed a plan to save the company – never once discussed the necessary job cuts with the board – because the ‘idea’ of cuts was not to be spoken aloud.

The Woods challenge is such cases is to bring implicit rules out into the open. Fresh eyes will often identify things the locals miss (“Does a fish know it’s wet?”)
‘Dumb questions’ can be asked of clients, recent hires or temporary contractors about their observations & experience with the company. Benchmark information from surveys & specialist / experts can also bring hidden organizational assumptions & behaviors to the surface.

Once the implicit assumptions are visible, employee teams can be asked to consider whether they’re helping or hindering the company. EXP: A consulting firm, working with a newly merged, international telecoms company, conducted a simple exercise : each of the two entities were asked to describe their own cultural norms & those of the other party. It quickly generated truths & myths that could then be discussed & used to iron out any blockages to operational success, as they rolled out their distribution & cable network – the key to capturing subscribers.

FROM: Michael Jarrett Senior Affiliate Professor at INSEAD. 

NEXT :

POWER – 4 Types of BIZ Politics (Part 1)

 

PREVIOUS : Power 

SITE :

 

 

 

 

 

 

INTRO : Most organizational maps ➡️ are include 4 metaphoric domains,(conceptual frameworks), ⬇️ each with a different set of rules required for skillful navigation.

DEF: Organizational politics refers to a variety of activities connected to the tactics used to influence or improve personal or organizational (org) interests. Political behavior allows differences to be shared & methods to be used in strategies that go beyond the rules / norms of the company.

Studies have shown that leaders with political skills tend to out-perform their politically naive counterparts.

🌵 The WEEDS – Individual, Informal
This quadrant is governed by personal influence & informal networks, a dynamic** that grows naturally, without maintenance, & can be a positive benefit to the org.
**dynamics : forces which produce power or movement

Alternatively, the Weeds may form into a dense mat through which nothing else grows. Informal networks can oppose legitimate power & the long-term interests of the co. Such leaders become a source of resistance to change, which influences their colleagues & peers
to do the same. This can prevent putting the org. on a sounder long-term financial footing.

EXP: At one not-for-profit org., their Secretary General was seriously under-performing & sometimes even being unethical. This causing staff to worry they’d lose support of key donors & government officials.
So, an informal group regularly met to cover up his abuses. However, since the problem was too big, within a year the same group helped ease him out, to protect the org’s reputation.

To deal with the Weeds, a leader needs to get involved enough in day-to-day office milieu to understand the informal networks at play. They must identify the key players & any gaps in communication, & possibly ally themselves with them when reasonable.
If the power-group is doing more harm than good, the leader can try to isolate them by developing a counter-narrative**, or by filling in the information gaps & strengthen connections with other networks. (More….)
** counter-narrative is an argument that disputes a commonly held belief or truth, & can give a voice to workers in an org. who otherwise would not have one.

Options for progress:
a. Sometimes a manager or leader needs to exert a lot of pressure on a team to get something done, by using their ‘Positional Power‘.
b. In other cases it may be necessary for employees to form a coalition that works behind the scenes to develop a new procedure or vision.

🪨 The ROCKS – Individual, Formal
This type of Power rests on individual interactions & the use of formal (‘hard’) authority. It can also include political capital which comes from membership in -or- strong ties to a high-status group (finance committee, a special task force, senior management….)

Supportive ‘Rocks’ can make awesome sponsors for organizational growth, & therefore represent a stabilizing force that keeps a business on a strong foundation in times of crisis.

However, the sharp edges of ‘hard power’ can also wreck a plan – when used to satisfy self-interest over the firm’s longer-term value.
EXP: A mid-sized advertising agency was trying to implementing a new growth strategy. The chairman used abusive power to stop the changes.
— He constantly questioned decisions agreed to by the management team
— changed his mind from one meeting to the next
— stoped agreeing to allocate resources for new structures, &
— removed people from the special task forces without notification.

Where hard or formal sources of authority reign, navigating this terrain consists of appealing to them or drawing on their position as boss / manager, instead of fighting them.
The best bet is to redirect the energy of a dysfunctional leader, inviting the Negative Rocks to participate in the change effort.Reasoned argument & especially appealing to their interests can work – since someone is involved in the change-effort, they’re more likely to buy into it, rather than resist.
EXP:  In the case of the ad agency mentioned above, senior executives used the threat of “leaving a legacy” to get the chairman to see how he was undermining the company’s long-term interests as well as his own.

NEXT : 4 Types of BIZ Politics (#2)

BARGAINS with FATE (Part 2)

PREVIOUS :

SITE : 

 

 

 

 


↘️ Chart OUTLINE from BOOK

“Bargains with Fate : Psychological Crises & Conflicts in Shakespeare’s Plays”
– Bernard J. Paris & Theodore I. Rubin (2009)

Expanded info on 3 broad categories of DEFENSES
— Self-effacing / Compliant
— Aggressive / Expansive
— Detached / Resigned

 

BARGAINS with FATE (Part 1)

 

PREVIOUS : “4 Games People Play”

SITE : “The SELF” 

 

⬅️ “Bargains with Fate : Psychological Crises & Conflicts in Shakespeare’s Plays”

– Bernard J. Paris & Theodore I. Rubin (2009)

In this work, Bernard J. Paris, an eminent Shakespearean scholar, shows how Shakespeare endowed his tragic heroes with familiar inner conflicts & enduring human qualities that make them relevant to people of any era.
Paris uses a psychoanalytic approach inspired by Karen Horney’s theories to analyze 4 major personality types, representative of the Bard’s other works. The author’s combination of literary & psychoanalytic perspectives provides a deeper understanding of human behavior.

The PROBLEM : Shakespeare’s characters are in a state of crisis because their Bargains with Fate have failed – the false belief that they can (magically) control their destinies by living up to the ‘rules’ of their defensive strategies.

FROM Dr. Paris Into (pgs 15 – 32)  The most familiar type of Bargaining is for a person to promise to reform their behavior when they’ve gotten themself in trouble (after the fact), &/or to perform some act of contrition  / self-restriction, to prevent punishment from the ‘powers that be’

“….but this type of Bargains-with-Fate are those in which we believe we can control fate by living up to its presumed dictates – not after it grants our wishes – but before. If we think, feel & behave the way we are supposed to – we will receive our just deserts, whatever we may think they are. Fate is often conceived of as God, but our bargains can be with ourselves, other people, or impersonal forces in the universe as we see it.

The terms of the bargains are not really determined by external forces, but dictated by our own defensive strategies. Bargaining is primarily a magical process conforming to impossible lofty demands of whichever neurotic defense we choose (Horney called “private religion”) that will enable us to attain those impossible lofty goals.” (MORE ….. ‘inside’)

Unfortunately for this kind of bargainer – sooner or later their ‘deal’ always crashes & burns, causing great suffering. Yet many people refuse to give up the fantasy wishes & hopes of the Idealized Self (I.S) & live in perpetual disappointment.

DEFENSE MECHANISMS
a. used to deal with feelings of fear, isolation, helplessness, hostility, powerlessness….
b. used against both deep insecurity & vague anxiety

TOXIC SOLUTIONS
1. Self-effacing / Compliant
2. Aggressive / Expansive :
– a. Narcissist
– b. Perfectionist
– c. Vindictive
3. Detached / Resigned
(full CHART in Part 2)

 

⬇️  OUTLINE re. the 4 CHARACTERS (pgs 35-177)

HAMLET (H)
▫️H & the Ghost / ▫️H’s conflicts in Act 2
▫️H’s Problem: “This too too solid flesh”
▫️H’s Conflicts : “To be or not to Be” /  “Get thee to a nunnery” /
“Yet have I in me something dangerous”
▫️The closet scene /  ▫️ More Oscillations
▫️In the hands of providence / ▫️ Wish-fulfillment end

OTHELLO
▫️Iago’s character / ▫️ Iago’s crisis
▫️Psychological Functions of Iago’s Plot
▫️Othello’s Triumph / ▫️ Othello’s Vulnerability
▫️Othello’s Transformation / ▫️ An Honorable murder?
▫️ Bewitched Desdemona : “The Inclining Desdemona”
/ “His scorn I approve” /  “Who hath done this deed?”

KING LEAR
▫️The Love test  / ▫️ Cordelia’s Compulsiveness
▫️Collapse of Lear’s Fantasy / ▫️To Plainness Honor Bound
▫️Rhetoric vs. Mimesis  / ▫️ Blows & Defenses
▫️”In such a night as this!” / ▫️Unaccommodated Man”
▫️Lear & “Poor Tom” / ▫️”Let Copulation Thrive
▫️Paradise Regained  / ▫️ Spiritual rebirth?
▫️”All Cheerless, Dark & Deadly”
▫️Death of Cordelia / Conclusion

MACBETH (M)
▫️
M’s Inner conflicts – before the murder
▫️Macbeth & Lady Macbeth
▫️M’s Inner conflicts – after the murder
▫️The murder of Banquo / ▫️M’s Transformation
▫️The villain as Hero / ▫️ The Death of Macbeth

NEXT: POWER – 4 Types of BIZ Politics (#1)

4 “Games People Play”

PREVIOUS : 18 Laws of Human Nature (#5)
 
SITE:”Games” Book Summary

 

INTRO
Games People Play is Eric Berne’s 1964 classic about the many ways that we habitually relate to one another through “games.” However, they’re not fun, harmless social interactions – but rather subtle, largely unconscious patterns that harm us & our relationships. The book of 20 games explores a fascinating & bizarre world, explaining how some people unconsciously participate in manipulate others to react in alienating & self-destructive ways. It dissects the hidden dynamics inside each game – and shows how to escape them to find true intimacy.
NOTE: This is the book which introduced the INNER CHILD concept. Green circles in chart below are Parent, Adult & Child (top–down)
Here are 4 of the games & how they’re laid out. (more Berne books)

 

 

NEXT : POWER – 4 Types pf BIZ Politics (#1)

18 Laws of HUMAN NATURE (Part 4)

 

PREVIOUS : Human Nature “LAWS” (#3)

SITE :
6 Characteristics of Human Nature”
A gallery of paintings that exemplify the human condition: Emotion, Rebellion, Chaos, Hard times, Work for what we want, & Self-image.

REMINDER : ❗️See “Summary & Notes” for the extended explanations of each ‘law’

“LAWS” of HUMAN NATURE by R. Green (cont)
13. of Aimlessness
The inherent tendency of humans is to roam around purposelessly – so we have to rely on making conscious decisions. In the back of our minds we can sense an overall lack of direction, being pulled this way & that way by our moods & the opinions of others

RESPONSE : We must be open to our internal, primal traits that make us unique. People become most successful when they have a sense of purpose in their life. A clearly-defined life-path gives us energy, even in moments of deep despair. Operating with a high sense of purpose aligns with who we are, allowing us to achieve more, in a meaningful, impactful life.

14. of Conformity
We have a social side to our character, so in group settings, we unconsciously imitate what others are saying & doing.
RESPONSE :
Resist the groups’ downward pull. We like to believe we’re independent & progressive, but actually can’t help conforming with our society. Recognize the dynamics / patterns found in whatever group you’re in, & notice specifically how you are influenced. Then help develop healthy groups with an upward pull.

15. of Fickleness
People are always ambivalent about those in power. They want to believe their emotions are pure & simple, when they’re actually ambivalent toward most things, including our leaders. They want to be protected & enjoy prosperity – without making sacrifices, to be led but also to feel free, to both worship the king & want to kill him. 

RESPONSE : The fundamental role of a leader is to provide a far reaching vision to unite the group. Authority is the delicate art of wielding power while making people feel like you are working for them. Make them want to follow you.  To embody all the traits you would want in a leader – you must work hard, leading from the front, to be calm, consistent, courageous, fair, tough & wise.

16. of Aggression
On the surface, people seem so polite & civilized, but under the mask, they’re inevitably dealing with frustrations., leading to anger. They have a need to influence people & gain power over circumstances. If they are blocked in these goals, they will become manipulative or outright aggressive.

RESPONSE : See the hostility behind the friendly façade. On the surface, people seem friendly & civilized but under the mask everyone has an aggressive side. Learn to recognize & manage chronic aggressors & counter passive-aggression. Be aware of your own aggressive tendencies, & harness the positive aspects of your assertive energy.

17. of Generational Myopia
People are born into a generation that defines who they are (more than they realize. Each generation forms certain tastes & values, wanting to separate itself from the previous one & set a new tone for the world. Then – as they get older, their values & ideas tend to become closed off from other points of view, limiting their thinking.

RESPONSE : Everyone is strongly defined by the generation we’re born into. Understand & honor how much the current time period affects you. Transitions can be seen over decades, seem to be universal across time & indicate that they are bigger than any one generation. Realize how history moves in cycles across generations, & how / where you fit in the wider patterns.

18. of Death Denial
Most people are terrified of death, & spend their lives avoiding the thought of it. To compensate, they continually look for ways to separate themselves from others to feel special, & therefore exempt.
RESPONSE : Understanding mortality is a powerful tool at your disposal seldom exploited to the maximum. The shortness of life ought to compel us to fight harder & stop procrastinating. Instead of avoiding such thoughts, leverage the paradoxical death effect, to make our life more productive & meaningful. Training ourselves to confront & accept this reality makes it easier to manage inevitable setbacks, separations & crises in life. It provides a sense of proportion, of what really matters in this brief existence of ours, so we can more easily deal with setbacks & obstacles.  (Modified REPRINT)

NEXT :

18 Laws of HUMAN NATURE (Part 3)

PREVIOUS : Human Nature “LAWS” (#2)

REMINDER : ❗️See “Summary & Notes” for the extended explanations of each ‘law’

“LAWS” of HUMAN NATURE by R. Green (cont)

7. of Defensiveness
People don’t like someone trying to change their opinion. They look after our own interests, wanting to feel that they’re independent, following their own ideas. So when someone tries to persuade or change them, they become defensive & resistant.

RESPONSE : Soften people’s resistance by confirming their Self-Opinion. Don’t try to show how good you are nor challenge them directly. When you acknowledge their beliefs, they tend to let their guard down (some), making them more open to your suggestions. If you have valuable information & can get things done, you’re a force.

8. of Self-sabotage
Our attitude are self-fulfilling, painting everything we experience, learn & do, which determines much of what happens in our life. Mental attitude sits at the heart of success & pre-determines our ability to make the right moves.
RESPONSE : 
See yourself as an explorer – always curious, open to learning new things. AND see adversity as opportunities to improve life, not something to be avoided. Understand that you can’t change people, so embrace & enjoy who those who are compatible, & manage how you behave with those who aren’t.

9. of Repression
People are rarely who they seem to be. Lurking beneath their polite, affable exterior is inevitably a dark, shadow side. It consists of the insecurities & aggressive, selfish impulses which are repressed &
carefully conceal from public view.

RESPONSE :  Confront your dark side – the selfish, greedy, or aggressive parts we hide in order to fit in and be liked / respected. Depression & anxiety comes from not being aware of these tendencies. By accepting them, you’ll become a more complete & authentic person, radiating that to others, which will attract them into your circle of influence

10. of Envy
People are envious – naturally compelled to compare ourselves with one another. Humans have an inclination to evaluate the quality of our own lives based on the values that are accepted by the mob. We continually measure people’s status, level of respect & attention
they receive, noticing any differences between what we have & what they have.

RESPONSE :
Beware the fragile ego. Develop your sense of self-worth from internal standards rather than by endless comparisons, & work on your personal progress, not attaching weight to someone else’s work.
Deflect others’ envy by drawing attention away from yourself & emphasize the role of luck in your life. Recognize the early warning signs of uneasiness with your success.- too much praise & people-pleasing, or subtle digs under the guise of good-natured humor.

11. Law of Grandiosity
Our natural grandiosity creates an unrealistic sense of superiority, encouraging the view of oneself as better than others. Even a small measure of success can make us lose contact with reality.  If the opinion of our goodness, greatness & brilliance diverges enough from reality, we over-blow our abilities, to compensate, leading to irrational or dangerous decisions.

RESPONSE : Know your limits. Humans want to think highly of ourselves, to the point we tend to imagine our superiority. Learn to identify the signs of elevated grandiosity in yourself and in others, including the 6 common illusions of grandiose leaders and how you can adopt practical grandiosity.

12. of Gender Rigidity
All of us have masculine & feminine qualities. Some is genetic, and some comes from the profound influence of the opposite sex parent. But we tend to repress these qualities, over-identifying with the role expected of us.
RESPONSE : Connect your masculine & feminine aspects, blending in the parts you’re most lacking. Recognize the various types of gender projections, to unlock your specific repressed qualities / energy. Then you’ll become more authentic & effective – drawing others to you. It will allow you to be more fluid in your thinking, which can unleash creative powers

NEXT : HUMAN NATURE #4

18 Laws of HUMAN NATURE (Part 2)

 

PREVIOUS : Human Nature LAWS (#1)

❗️SITESummary & Notes Extended explanations for each ‘law’

“LAWS” of HUMAN NATURE by R. Green (cont)

2. of NARCISSISM: Transform Self-Love into Empathy
Humans have the natural ability to empathize & connect with others. Unfortunately, we get blinded by self-absorption. As children, our sense of self-worth is tied to the attention we receive & the quality of our interactions. As adults, the problem comes when we rely on how well others treat us to feel worthy & alive.

We all have narcissistic tendencies, to varying degrees.
– Deep narcissists (NPDs) lack a cohesive sense of self, so their self-worth comes entirely from others’ attention and validation. In relationships they take everything personally, demand control , everyone’s total focus being on themselves, & are expert manipulators.
– Most of us are functional narcissists in the middle of the spectrum. We may slip into moments of self-absorption, but have a strong-enough sense of self to pull out of it.
– Healthy narcissists have a strong, resilient sense of self. They direct their sensitivity outward – in the form of empathy toward people or focused creativity in their work, instead of only not themselves.

SHIFT Toward HEALTHY NARCISSISM
Recognize deep narcissism in others to avoid being sucked into toxic relationships.  Be honest about your true nature, & work to develop :
a. Analytic empathy: Gather info about the others so you truly to know them (family relationships, values, emotional triggers)

b. Empathetic attitude: Assume you’re ignorant about people so you can be truly curious about their point of view. In your daily conversations :
☼ set aside your judgments / biases
☼ stop your endless inner dialogues, & fully listen
☼ don’t assume they have your same /or similar views
☼ be open to new discoveries.

c. Visceral empathy:
‣ Pay attention to people’s reactions (facial expressions, body language & tone of voice)
‣ Use mirroring to develop a stronger connection (mimic their tone or expression, nod & smile as you listen)

d. Use direct/indirect feedback to develop your empathetic skills: ask about their thoughts / feelings to verify your guesses, then pay attention to their responses & rapport.

“LAWS” – cont.
3. of Role Playing
People tend to wear the mask that shows them off in the best possible light – humble, confident, diligent…. trying to hide their true personality. It’s a form of impression management – wanting to influence other’s perceptions.

If we take this appearance for reality, we never really know their true feelings, & on occasion get blindsided by their sudden resistance, hostility or manipulations.
RESPONSE : See though the masks & become a master at reading body language, as well as presenting yourself optimally.

4. of Compulsive Behavior
People never do something just once. They will inevitably repeat their bad behavior.
RESPONSE : 
Learn about people’s character types. When choosing who to work / associate with, don’t be mesmerized by their reputation or surface image. Instead, determine their strengths & weaknesses.
Also, assess your own – correcting negative compulsive patterns so you have control of your choices

5. of Covetousness
People continually desire to possess what they don’t have.  Most don’t really want truth & facts, rather wanting their imagination lifted & ego boosted.
RESPONSE : Become an elusive object of desire – a little absence will spark interest, so creating an air of mystery will make you highly desirable.
Also, ‘covet’ a closer connection to reality, accepting what you can & can’t change, and be OK with both, which brings calmness

6. of Shortsightedness
People tend to overreact to present circumstances, & ignore what
will happen in the future
. It makes them vulnerable when things take an unexpected turn.
RESPONSE : Surround yourself with those who understand the consequences of their actions & have a bold vision. Elevate your own perspective – learn to focus on the long-term, considering the bigger picture, so you gain the patience & clarity to achieve almost any goal

NEXT : Human Nature  (#3)