IT’S TIME TO ”ADULT”
– wherever I am
PREVIOUS: Positive Character: Knowledge #2
See ACRONYM Page for abbrev.
“The buck stops here” ˜ Harry S. Truman.
It may be called the ‘ultimate responsibility‘ because it can’t be shared – it’s the obligation to bear the consequences for failure to perform as expected. It includes striving to express our highest values in whatever we do, aspiring to be our best in all interactions.
Re. work: each of us being responsible for the tasks & functions essential to our role or position
Re. relationships: taking responsibility for our motivations, words & actions – but not more than that (opposite of co-dependence)
EXP: • being clear & direct • not blaming others • doing things the right way & for the right reason • being trustworthy
Recognizing & avoiding attitudes, words & actions that could create undesirable consequences. It includes being tactful – avoiding embarrassing situations, not upsetting others, good at keeping secrets, & not attracting inappropriate attention to ourselves. Respectful of taboos, not being sucked into what we know is unhealthy or illegal – for ourselves or in general
EXP: • choose our words carefully • have good manners • thoughtfully consider criticism • don’t make fun of others • turn down any invitation to do wrong
PERSUASIVENESS (being effective)
The ability to gently maneuver “vital truths around another’s mental roadblocks.” Appeal to someone’s reason, values, beliefs or emotions, in order to convince them to adopt a particular belief or pursue a specific action – without doing harm to them or ourselves. Having legitimate influence over others allows us to live more in alignment with what we want, instead of what others want us to do or be
• appeal to a person’s conscience in terms of their best qualities • wait for the best time • point others in the right direction • don’t stretch the truth to make it more attractive • don’t argue or bully in order to convince someone
It means having a good sense of timing & foresight, including the ability to plan ahead. Consistently being on time indicates we are the master of our life & therefore can be counted on. It shows up as completing required tasks or fulfilling obligations before or by the time it’s due, being on time for appointments AND being prepared on arrival. It’s knowing when our responsibility ends & someone else’s begins, while showing respect for others’ time & plans.
• don’t make people wait for us • don’t fall into the trap of “just one more” • be at the right place at the right time • prepare for unexpected delays • plan a daily schedule and keep it
Being ready & willing to gladly receive all the good things life has to offer. Be attentive to whatever is unfolding in the present moment, taking in what is available, & making the best use if it. Absorb & hold new suggestions or concepts quickly & easily, open to reasonable arguments, ideas, or change. Not having to fight for or be pushy about getting what we want.
• be willing to receive when it appears • accept people for who & what they are • patiently wait for things to develop • be grateful for what we have
SENSITIVITY / EMPATHY
Show consideration & personal concern for others. Consider things from someone else’s point of view. Be able to pick up on others’ actual attitudes, motives & state of mind. Understand & identify with the emotions of others – as a direct result of having access to a wide range of our own emotions.
Making other people feel comfortable. Being able to fit into different social situations. Don’t decide about someone based only on one interaction & don’t let our own fears & prejudices get in the way on how to treat them. EXP:
• read body signals, tone of voice & facial expressions • make it easy for people to click with us • say supportive & comforting things to someone in pain • have a deep appreciation for another’s point of view • Do NOT feel sorry for ourselves
NEXT: Positive C. – Humanity #1