List of HEALTHY Boundaries (Part 2)


 

I KNOW WHO I AM & WHAT I NEED,
& I can say it clearly

PREVIOUS: Emotional Bs

SITE: Personal Responsibility

 

 

💟 PRACTICAL EXAMPLES of Healthy Boundaries
What B do NOT DO ( Part 1)

♥️ WHAT Boundaries DO – THEY:
• act as a warning sign when’re about to get into relationships or places unsuitable or dangerous – for us
• allow the Healthy Adult to be in charge – to protect us from our own emotional instability  when the WIC feels vulnerable
• identify the specific consequences of boundary invasions
THEY:
• prevent anyone from inappropriately injecting themself into our life, or trying to get us to do anything we don’t want to
• protect our values, & the right to always be treated with dignity & respect
• provide pre-set guidelines for all areas of life. When we periodically regress into a symbiotic or self-effacing state (inevitable), we may need someone to help us re-establish Bs
• prevent anyone from inappropriately injecting themself into our life, or trying to get us to do anything we don’t want to

1. EMOTIONAL (Es)  – Part 1

2. PHYSICAL (P) – Healthy Bs means we CAN:
• comfortably distance ourself from anyone who can’t / won’t respect our Bs
• have self-esteem about our P self, no matter how we look
• protect our physical space from intrusion, invasion or abuse
• say NO to food, gifts, touch, sex …  that we don’t want
• safely give & receive Physical comfort
• stay in our body (be congruent) “My body & I are one”
• touch & be touched – with discrimination
• weigh the consequences before acting on a sexual impulse
KNOW
• it’s OK to move towards or away from someone
• the most comfortable space between us & another
• what’s appropriate modesty & openness with ourself & others. Modesty is not = being a prude! It’s about self-respect.

3. MENTAL – Healthy Bs means that we CAN:
re. OURSELF
• act assertively (not aggressive) by respectfully stating our opinions, emotions & needs
• empower ourself to make healthy choices & be responsible for our thoughts
• know it’s OK to have some privacy / secrecy without guilt, even with intimates
• know when a miscommunication or CD is ours & when it’s someone else’s
• know what we believe (values) & what we want
CAN :
• own our toxic family beliefs & work on replacing them
wisdom• say No / Yes honestly, & are secure when others say No to us
• take back our projections (see others for who they really are, not what we think or wish them to be – or who our parents were)
• think & speak for ourself (without always quoting someone else)
• trust our own decisions, defining our truth as you see it
• value our opinions, tastes & viewpoints, as much as those of others

With OTHERS  – Healthy Bs means that WE :
• avoid expectations – knowing that we might get turned down, but can still ask
• can be in charge of deciding if a potential relationship will be good for us
• can ask for practical information, when needed
relationship types• choose to go slow in a new relationship while checking for compatibility
• communicate needs & wants clearly in all relationships
WE :
✶ DO
stand up for our beliefs, even when in the minority
• give personal info gradually, then check how others respond
✶ know that accuracy is more important that agreement in communications
• notice any time others boundary-invade us
• recognize that friends & partners are not mind readers
• respect others’ boundaries (EXP : ask if it’s ok before touching, or taking something)
• teach others to treat us with dignity & respect

EMOTIONAL & MENTAL RECOVERY Truths
✦ Aloneness is a bounty from which we choose what we want
✦ Friends can only stand by – watching & encouraging, while we make our own discoveries
✦ Giving is never losing, & giving freely is a semi-circle which completes itself in receiving
✦ Help doesn’t always appear in the way we expect or demand
✦ Moresmarts is possible than we think, if we truly believe
✦ No one can tell us who we are
✦ No one can live our pain or our joy – for us
✦ No matter who walks with us, no one can walk it for us
💗
✦ Our eyes can never see as clearly as our hearts
✦ Sharing is not legitimate unless we keep enough for ourselves
✦ Second-best may really be just second-arrived
✦ To want nothing is as selfish as to give nothing
✦ Wisdom comes from hearing & believing our True voice
✦ What we think we want may be inferior to what we receive
SO:
✦ We may often feel we’re walking alone, but we never are IF we know who we are

NEXT: Setting Healthy Bs (Part 3)

3 thoughts on “List of HEALTHY Boundaries (Part 2)

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