PREVIOUS: Personality TRAITS (#2a)

SITE: “Personality and Alcoholism: Establishing the Link” ~ Stanton Peele (author of “Love & Addiction” highly recommended)

PERSONALITY TRAITS  (cont.)

🏴 REMINDER: NO ONE has ALL these characteristics!
Pick out several that fit your ‘favorite’ addict (or yourself ??), the ones that really stand out, that are over-blown, that keep getting in the way of a success, happy life.

2. PSYCHOLOGICAL defences
Underlying the addiction are what 12-Step programs call ‘character defects’, which contribute to the desire to escape.
ACTIONS
• Blackmail. Use threats of emotional withdrawal of acceptance, affection, approval, love, sex…. to get the other person to do something they don’t want to
• Bully. Demand others be or do what the addict wants, & won’t take no for an answer. Push, push push

• Chase. Run after someone not immediately available, or not interested in them (short of stalking)
• Come-here-go-away. Crazy-making, draw someone toward themselves & them push them away (sabotaging….) when the other gets ‘too close’

• Impatient. Can’t wait for things to unfold naturally, insist on getting attention
• Impulsive. Often acts before really thinking through consequences
• Irresponsible. Undependable, rarely /never follows thru, arbitrarily changes plans, regularly breaks promises …

VERBAL
• Argumentative. Always looking to start a verbal tussle, & even when they actually agree with the other’s point of view, feel the need to fight against it

• Cognitive distorted. Have many unrealistic or completely erroneous beliefs. Includes ‘all-or-nothing’, ‘black-or-white’ thinking…..
• Combative. Always feel disrespected (bumped in the subway, not being greeted….) as an excuse to be angry, or pick a fight

• Compulsive Liar. Lie when not necessary – lost conscious contact with The Truth
• Complain. Highly critical of others & Self, often their own worst enemy. Whiny.
• Cynical. Bitter, have an overall very negative assessment of people & life

• Double-messaging. Cause great confusion or paralysis in others by giving opposing info or expectations – as if both are true, (love you / hate you) OR demand that 2 incompatible rules both be obeyed

PSYCHOLOGICAL
• Boundary-less. Don’t how when / where to set limits, with self or others
• Chameleon. Easily change attitude & actions to match people & their environment, blend right in, but not ‘real Self’

• Dependent. Needy. Expecting others to do for them what they can, but won’t do for themselves
• Fake. What they feel inside is not what they show on the outside
• Idealizing. Unwilling to see others for who they really are, making them better than what’s real, & better than themselves

• Low Frustration tolerance. Easily upset & knocked off
 balance
• Narcissistic. Everything is about the addict, only their point of view & needs are valid

• Passive. Unwilling to exert themself, have an opinion, participate….
• Perfectionist. Their’s is the only ‘Right Way’. If they can’t do something perfectly, it’s worthless – causing procrastination & paralysis

• Separate. Never feel part of or belong anywhere – even in ‘similar’ groups. ‘Different, not like the rest’ (negatively special)
• Superiority complex. The attitude / belief (not emotion) of seeing oneself as better than others

• Victim. Suicidal thoughts / feelings (NOT because of severe physical pain, debility or actually being trapped). Instead:
– Rage: wanting to punish everyone who’s ever hurt or abandoned them (“I’ll show you!”)
– Unwilling to dig deep into their emotional pain, for healing

SOCIAL
• Arrogant. Condescending, sometimes or always ‘full of it’
• Demanding. “I want what I want – NOW!”
• Defiant. Don’t want to be told what to do, do opposite of what someone needs, wants or asks for – just to be ‘difficult / contrary’, but not from actual disagreement

• Isolated. Socially withdrawn, even when with others, not really connected. Can’t be reached, but complains that no-one understands
• People-pleaser. Overly agreeable, to keep the focus off themselves & get people to like them

• Sadistic (‘perpetrator’). Gets pleasure from hurting people, or secretly seeing them be hurt (physically, financially, socially….). Also harm animals & children
• Socially awkward. Feel like they don’t know what to do or say

• Thrill junkie.  Deliberately goes for risky behavior, stuck in self-destructive mode
• Thwarts Authority. Rebels against ‘status quo’

SPIRITUAL
• Lost / Tortured Soul – wandering in the ‘land of the living dead’
•  Unearthly. Truly believe an ideal world possible, & that it ‘should be’. See everyone as one united family. However, often feel disillusioned & disheartened when the world fails to live up to their Utopian ideals.

NEXT: Alcoholism – Physical

PREVIOUS: Alcoholism #2b

IMAGE ⬆️ : Pain directly linked to Emotional States 

SITE: “Heal suffering w/ Self-acceptance“ (+ Negative beliefs)

🌈 Poor Mental health plays an important role in all forms of substance abuse, which often overlap with psychiatric disorders, because addictive substances change the way the brain works, impacting a person’s mood, thoughts & actions. Psychological evaluation of a potential patient includes:

Personal history:  age when they first started using alcohol…., family history of substance use, & all traumatic experiences, Also – housing, financial & marital status, education & employment, physical & mental health (theirs & their family), & legal problems.

VIOLENCE & ADDICTION
The Journal of Substance Abuse Treatment noted that more than 75% of people entering treatment admit to various acts of violence, although researches claim that “only a tiny fraction of all drinking events involve violence.”
The likelihood of an active drinker being violent seems to stem from how they usually deal with their anger when not drinking. Since alcohol lowers inhibitions, robbing a person of self-control which allows for risky behavior, so previously suppressed rage can be acted out when sufficiently drunk.

RESEARCH: The central nervous system (CNS) processes which integrate emotional behavior are altered in people at high risk for alcoholism, with 3 markers for identifying the risk:
1) Proportion: a characteristic balance of positive to negative emotions
2) Cortisol: emotion-related changes in this stress hormone
3) The Startle Eyeblink: a measure of emotion-related change in CNS activation

PERSONALITY TRAITS that underpin active addictions
🏴 NOTE: NO ONE has ALL of these! Look for several that fit your ‘favorite’ addict (or yourself ??), the ones that seem to really stand out, that are over-blown, that keep getting in the way of a success, happy life.

Alcoholism is called a 3-fold disease: Physical, Emotional & Spiritual (not religion) :
1. EMOTIONAL
• Angry. Volatile E-motions, explosive temper, often acts out in violent ways
• Co-dependent. Deeply effected by other people’s emotions, reactions,  difficulties…. & other social influences, mostly negative &/or toxic

• Defensive. Very guarded & protective of inner most thoughts & feelings
• Depressed. This can be physical /hereditary and/OR from decades of abandonment & abuse. Either way its’s long-term & debilitating

• Desperate. Feel like their would is falling apart. Don’t know what to do
• Disconnected. Unaware of what they’re feeling emotionally
• Distracted. In constant escape-mode. Use Alcohol/drugs, sex, social-media…. to numb painful life experiences, or fill up with “spirit”

•  Fearful / Terrified. Worry a lot. Anxious, agitated…. always expect only the worst
• Fearful of Failure and Success. Stay stuck (work, home….). Feel like they ‘can’t win for loosing’

• Guilty. Continual, overwhelming self-blame for real or imagine harm they did to someone, either by a damaging action, or by neglecting to do something
• Hopeless. Completely convinced there’s NO possibility for their life to get better (“learned helplessness”), they have no options, no one to help
• Hyper-sensitive. Take everything personally that happens to them or even around them, as if they’re the center of everyone else’s world

• Insensitive. Can’t sympathize with another’s hardship, or to empathize with someone’s emotional distress
• Joyless. Nothing is fun, relaxing, stress-less.
• Lonely. Feel alone, can’t ask for help because ‘no one cares’

• Paranoid. Assume everyone secretly (or blatantly) intends to hurt them. Can’t trust anyone. NO one’s safe
• Passive-aggressive. Can’t show anger directly, so puts on a smile, but withholds, refuses to participate….  or secretly, indirectly does harm
• Resentful – of oh-so many people… Carry a long list of grudges towards anyone who’s disappointed or hurt them in life

• Sad. Deep sorrow because of too many losses, often hidden from oneself, or unexpressed
• Self-Hating. Deep down inside, blame themself for everything that’s gone wrong or that hurts them.  Nothing is never ‘good enough’
• Shamed. Intensely ashamed of themself, their family, their circumstance, their inability to ‘fix’ a loved one…..

• Unforgiving. Unable / unwilling to release of all the bad things done to them, & the pain it caused. Can’t seem to cope with people, place, things – as they are
• Un-comforted. Nothing is soothing, pleasant, stress-free
• Uncomfortable in their skin. Don’t know ‘who I am”, or ‘how’ to sit, stand, walk… Restless, irritable, discontent. Life is a painful, unpleasant journey
• Unlovable – Unable to love themself or to receive love from others.

NEXT: 2. Psychological 

PREVIOUS: Alcoholism – STAGES (#2a)

SITE : Alcohol-induced brain damage continues after alcohol is stopped 

STAGES (cont.)

3. PROGRESSION  – Physical / Emotional deterioration
• An obsession with drinking. During the dependence stage, the alcoholic still planned their day around the drink. Now they simply take it with them wherever they go

• Alcohol is needed to function. The morning drink is a daily ritual, drink throughout the day, & keep a steady supply available, like a flask in the purse or bottle in the desk drawer

• Loss of other interests. Social activity continues a decrease because of erratic behavior. as drinking isolates them from friends & family. Hobbies & intellectual interests once enjoyed are long gone, & drinking is the only companion, the thing that keeps them going

• Depression, anxiety, insomnia. Alcohol is a depressant, so the physical effects will worsen in an already emotionally unhappy person. They can’t get to sleep without a drink, & often end up with paranoia – becoming overly fearful but can’t explain why

• Family relations continue to deteriorate. If it wasn’t seen before, slowly the addict become increasingly irritable, arguing with the spouse, attacking their children, alternating between being sullen & snappish. Stop attending family functions, preferring to drink, or showing up drunk – sloppy, obnoxious, sexually inappropriate or belligerent

• Friendships change or end. There continues a decrease in social activity because of erratic behavior, have a sudden change in friends, have trouble talking to strangers….. old friends will be run off when they confront addict with their drinking

• Financial, legal problems. Domestic abuse, calls to cops, harassment or stalking of spouse or lover – possibly resulting in a Restraining Order, divorce & child custody fights, court appearances for DUIs, & sometimes vehicular homicide……

• Serious health problems occur. Personal hygiene begins to slide, & eating properly is a thing of the past.  The addict will get sick much more often (respiratory infections, malnutrition…..), & the doctor will warn about damage to liver & pancreas

4. CULMINATION
• Loss of control is obvious. The addict no longer takes care of themself, (no medical care, poor hygiene, careless appearance….), & normal responsibilities have long been neglected. Without a co-dependent rescuer, they’re behind on bills, can’t borrow any more money from family & friends, & built up credit card debt to support their drinking. May even become homeless

• Family & friends are gone. The addict may have been to rehab – several times, but still found it impossible to quit, having become a slave to the bottle

• Physical symptoms are excruciating. Without medical attention, this stage of alcoholism is incredibly dangerous.  Unable to hold food down, the tremors begin mere hours after any ‘last’ drink, & hallucinations or seizures might have even set in

• Full-blown addiction will carry heavy withdrawal symptoms & an increased risk of developing life-threatening conditions. These symptoms can be so painful that the person needs to drink simply to alleviate them. Life expectancy in this stage can be as short as six months.

RECOVERY requirements:
✴︎ A sincere desire for help
✴︎ Physical detox & medical treatment
✴︎ An assessment of clinical treatment needs for co-occurring disorders:  anxiety  / ADHD  /  bipolar   / college mental health  /   cross addictions /  depression  /  food  /  PTSD   / obsessive-compulsive   /  personality disorders   / schizophrenia  / self-medication……

✴︎ Establishing new ideas, attitudes, goals for life
✴︎ Ongoing group, individual & family therapy
✴︎ Rest, structured daily routine, proper nutrition

✴︎ New circle of stable, sober friends & mentors
✴︎ Increase in self-care, confidence, self-esteem
✴︎ Ongoing work toward lasting sobriety

RELAPSE
A hallmark of any chronic condition is the potential for relapse. The sufferer & doctors work together to figure out the best treatments to manage the condition.

Addiction is no different. In fact, relapse rates for addiction (40-60 %) are similar to asthma (50-70%) & adult-onset diabetes (30-50 %), reported by the National Institute on Drug Abuse. Sometimes the initial treatment is not quite right, or the person starts by trying to quit without help. Over time, control is lost & the person drinks again.
However, this is not an indication of failure. Experience has shown that a inpatient program of less than 90 days has limited effectiveness.  It is possible to interrupt the cycle of Use —> Abstinence —> Relapse, by a determination to have a better life, & by getting the right treatments.

NEXT: Alcoholic TRAITS  #3a

PREVIOUS: Alcoholism INTRO #1b

SITE: “What is Alcoholism?”

Alcoholism is a disease that usually develops over time. Whether or not initial alcohol use is likely to lead to addiction is often a matter of individual circumstances. Mayo Clinic describes a number of risk factors:
• A family history of substance abuse or other mental health disorder
• Childhood abuse &/or neglect / • A Chaotic living environment
• Peer group or family that is permissive about substance use
• Depression, social issues, loneliness…..

Not all drug dependence is addiction. EXP: an asthmatic will depend on a daily dose of medication to breathe properly. This is not addiction. In this case, the body was not working properly before the drug was introduced – which is the correct solution to the physical problem – & did not cause the original dysfunction.

1. DENIAL (Adaptive) – early stage symptoms
• Occasional drinks taken to relieve stress or other problems – used as a crutch to cope with or escape reality. Alcohol becomes a way to take the edge off after a long day, & blur sharp outlines of life

• Gradual increase in drinking frequency & tolerance – rely more & more on alcohol to get through difficult times, so it’s less enjoyable & more of a habit. Now drinking either stays moderate – or progresses to the next stage. Tolerance is an indication that the brain has changed in response to the drug

• Thoughts become more focused on the next drink : “If I can just make it through these last 2 hours of work, I can head straight to the bar for some relief”

• Rationalizing alcohol over-use / abuse – telling oneself I’m just having a rough few days, drinking isn’t that big a deal, or I’m not going out getting wasted every night, so I’m fine

• The (now) addicted person is likely still unaware that alcohol is gradually becoming a controlling force, & others have not yet seen that the person’s drinking habits are getting increasingly more dangerous

2. DEPENDENCE  – Loss of control
• Desire to drink is more intense – the body has become used to larger amounts with little or no effect. As it gains a tolerance, it expects the alcohol at a certain time, so drinking will start earlier in the day to compensate for the frustration that settles in during the afternoon. The drinker can still function, but becomes more & more focused on getting that next drink

• Loss of control over drinking habits – still easy to find excuses for needing a drink throughout the day in regular society, which makes it somewhat acceptable.
Consumption is more than the average person’s, but it can be explained away: “If you had the stresses I did, you would drink too. / Everyone has a beer at lunch when we go out. There’s nothing wrong with it…. ”

• Alcohol-induced blackouts are common – the drinker can lose a lot of time (several hours, an entire day or longer….). They won’t remember where they went, what they did or who they were with, with obvious harmful physical, mental & financial consequences

• Withdrawal symptoms get more severe – when the effects of the alcohol wear off, 6 – 24 hrs after the last drink –  dry mouth, painful headache, morning shakes, nausea, sweats & trouble sleeping. Hangovers are a regular event, but still seem manageable.

• The drinker finally starts to realize there’s something abnormal about their drinking & others begin to recognize it too. They hide it from others – spiking coffee or soda, stashing full bottles throughout the home & ones in the garbage away from home. Lying about where they were when out drinking…..

• Relationship problems & social isolation increases – late nights, drunken fights at home, falling down, car accidents…. May begin missing work or social obligations because of dat-time drinking or painful hangovers. Drink at inappropriate times, such as when caring for their children, when driving with family in car, & at work

✴︎ They may make several attempts to stop drinking, even attend support groups. However, many are not ready to face the rigors of Recovery, & resort to old habits.

NEXT: Alcoholism – STAGES (#2b)

PREVIOUS: Alcoholism INTRO #1a

SITE: Behavioral Addiction (many articles)

HIGH FUNCTIONING alcoholic (HFA)
Denial
• trouble seeing themself as alcoholic because they’re successful , & not on Skid Row
• use alcohol as stress-relief & a reward
• have few tangible negative consequences from drinking, by sheer luck

Professional Life
• keep consistent employment, well-respected for job performance
• have a good education
, with academic accomplishments
• make artistic, social or political contributions

Personal
• externally seem to be managing life well
• maintain family &/or romantic relationships & friendships
• skilled at compartmentalizing (separate professional & drinking lives)
• usually have one or more co-dependent helpers covering for them (rescuers, enablers)

Drinking Habits 
• one alcoholic drink sets off craving, become obsessed about next drink
• obvious personality changes, compromise morals when intoxicated
• repeat unwanted drinking patterns & self-destructive behaviors

SITE: ” The Cure for High-Functioning Alcoholism”

ADDICTION CYCLE
a. Problems – external stressors & internal emotional pain causing anxiety 
b. Fantasize – about using something for relief of symptoms
c. Obsession – about how using a substance will make life better 
d. Actively using – engage in addictive activity
e. Frustration – dissatisfied that relief doesn’t last
f. Addiction  – lose control over substance use
g. Shame – feelings of remorse & guilt re. bad behaviors
h. Promises – to self (& others), resolves to stop using, but can’t
Then BACK to: a & b 

STAGES outlined
a. EXPERIMENTAL : non-addicted
• Use a substance out of curiosity, peer pressure or rite of passage. No change in behavior or emotional reaction & is limited

b. SOCIAL :  pre-addicted
• The ‘use‘ is part-of & acceptable in their social environment. They still consider the amount normal, & keep it only to those events

c. INSTRUMENTAL : early-addicted
• Substance starts being needed to cope with personal, work & social problems, as a substitute for facing & correcting them directly

d. COMPULSIVE : fully-addicted
• The substance is the person’s main preoccupation – how / where they can get more. Shame develops, so there’s a need to hide its use, & their life is negatively effected, spinning out of control.
⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️
Characteristics of “DRY DRUNKS”
If an alcoholic stops drinking, they’re not sober, mental-health-wise. But then it’s early days. AA says: “It takes a drunk 5 years just to get their brain out of hock!” Then they can start growing up.
OR maybe – the person is a narcissist who resists self-reflection & so can’t mature emotionally, even though their life may improve in many other ways – which mainly shows up in personal relationships

ANGER
Dry addicts are as angry after, as when they were still drinking. But instead of directing it at the effects of the substance, they often aim it at whoever forced a change, coming from : a spouse threatening to leave, a boss to fire them, or a judge to jail them….  Resentment can surfaces after a few weeks into the ‘honeymoon period’ of abstinence. Unchecked, it can lead to a resumption of drinking.  “The person I was – will drink again”.

UNHAPPY
The ‘dry drunk’ may sink into depression when beginning to see their life with a little clarity. While drinking, they may have though everything was OK. But sobriety can bring an awareness of age, missed opportunities, health problems & career failures.
New expectations & demands are rarely welcomed, such as promising to be monogamous, to babysit the children, to attend church or family gatherings, to do well at work….. Pretending to be happy about these changes is waring & can’t be kept up

IMPULSIVE
Not ‘using’ doesn’t change the alcoholic’s basic impulsiveness, which usually involves doing things against their best interest. Even if the addict did want to stop drinking, it’s common for them to switch substances. Irresponsible behaviors can be promiscuity, gambling, over-eating, over-spending…..

AND unfortunately, poor judgement can be ‘encouraged’ by still hanging out with the old crowd of bad influences, OR the family’s attitude : “As long as they’re not drinking, we don’t care what they’re doing”

IMMATURE
Newly dry alcoholics often miss many opportunities provided by psychological maturity – not ready to handle a job, a healthy relationship, parenthood…
Unlike their ‘grown-up’ peers, they’re still acting like irresponsible teenagers.
They still demand immediate gratification, & when charm doesn’t get them what they want, they can become withdrawn, manipulative, passive-aggressive, complaining, attacking …..

NEXT: Alcoholism #2

PREVIOUS: DOM / INF in Combination

IMAGE:  “Overdose”,  designed & created by DMT (2017)

SITE: Brad Pitt, @ functional alcoholism 

The distinction between physical dependence & psychological addiction is  important. National Institute on Drug Abuse explains that physical dependence is not itself addiction – which is psychological & emotional.

Once the body is regularly used to a certain amount of alcohol – & then has to go without it for even a short time – withdrawal sets in. This is so painful that the alcoholic will resume drinking to avoid experiencing the distressing symptoms. The cycle continues unrestrained until some type of intervention occurs (self, legal, family….)(More….)

ADDICTION : A chronic brain disorder affecting a person’s sense of pleasure, motivation & memory. While there are psychological, biological, social & environmental factors that can play into it, a large part of the risk for addiction is genetic.

Addiction is any obsessional thinking about & the compulsive need for – drugs, alcohol, food (sugar ), sexual activity (dopamine), fear (adrenalin), romantic ‘love‘ (dopamine), dangerous sports (adrenalin)….  despite the negative consequences acting on them will cause.
It includes developing a tolerance, intense physical cravings, & withdrawal symptoms. This develops over time, starting with misuse, moving into abuse & resulting in addiction.

WHY: The more stressors we have to deal with, the more we search for solutions to alleviate suffering, to feel better. Using substances to manage uncomfortable emotions & life problems is not about which ones a person chooses, but rather it represents impaired coping mechanisms – instead of learning how to solve issues in healthy ways.

Medically, alcoholism is referred to as Alcohol Use Disorder – AUD – determined by 11 criteria in the DSM-V . In 2012, an estimated 7.2% of American adults 18 & older (about 17 mil.) had a diagnosable AUD.
Men are almost 2x more often chemical substance abuser than women (11.2 mill vs. 5.7 mill). And teens are not immune. In that same year, an estimated 855 thousand young people (ages 12 to 17) also had this disorder.

The National Institute of Alcoholism & Alcohol Abuse (NIAAA)
🚦 TWO or more of the following symptom indicate AUD
a. Moderate (“Normal”): Per day – 1 drink for women, 2 for men
b. Binging: Any drinking that brings blood-alcohol level to 0.08 – over a 2 hr. period, women = 4 drinks, & men = 5
c. Heavy Use: Binge drinking episodes on 5 or more days in the past month

LEVELS of SEVERITY for AUD
Mild: 2 -3 symptoms // Moderate: 4-5  // Severe: 6 or more
🚥 Only TWO (or more) of these symptom are needed to indicate AUD:
• Drink a larger amount or for longer than – you originally intended
• Spend an excessive amount of time drinking (many hours)
• Want to cut down or quit drinking, but so far unable to

• Developed a tolerance to alcohol, or the need to drink larger amounts to get the desired effect
• Have a craving for alcohol when not drinking, or want a drink so badly you can’t think of anything else

• Often been physically sick as a result of time drinking – & it has interfered with the ability to take care of your home & family, causing problems at work or in school
• When not drinking, have withdrawal symptoms (trouble sleeping, body tremors, nausea, sweating, or seizures….)

• Continue to drink in spite of external negative consequences (trouble with family, friends, work, the Law)
• Continue to drink in spite of internal negative results (depression, anxiety, worsening health problems, blackouts….)

• Cut back on or have stopped participating in activities you once enjoyed because of your drinking
• Found yourself in dangerous situations many times – as a direct result of drinking, (driving, swimming, in dangerous areas, unsafe sex….)

An average functioning alcoholic can be identified as someone who:
✴︎ drinks alcohol to replace eating food
✴︎ has angry or defensive reactions when someone suggests alcoholism

✴︎ can’t remember what happened while under the influence
✴︎ sets drinking limits, but can’t stick to them

✴︎ does “pre-drinking” before an evening out
✴︎ tries to hide drinking from others

✴︎ drinks in the morning, throughout the day or while alone
✴︎ jokes about the possibility of being an alcoholic (More….)

➡️ SITE: “I’d drink to just about anything. Being a functional alcoholic is no fun at all”, writes Kristen Pyszczyk

NEXT: STAGES #2a

PREVIOUS: Aux-Tert functions 

CONTRAST RESEARCH ➡️ :
Synthetic social networks were identified by assigning human Personality Types to the nodes, then adding links between nodes based on the compatibility of those Types

Probability Search (PS) & Compatibility-Degree Matching  (CDM) were used (More….)

INFERIOR reaction BLOCKED by its DOMINANT Counterpart ⬇️ :

☀︎ REVIEW
2 kinds of Perceiving:
a. Sensing  – the ability to perceive details, & go for the fullest possible experience through the 5 senses
b. iNtuition – seeing the big picture, chasing the furthest reaches of the possible & the imaginative

2 kinds of Judging:
a. Thinking – being objective & deductive, looking for rational order thru the impersonal logic of cause & effect
b. Feeling  – stepping in to the situation, being empathetic, & looking for rational order in accord with key values

 🗺 🗺 🗺

DOMINANT-INFERIOR interactions: POSITIVELY & NEGATIVELY
When a function is misused or misapplied, the person’ll have problems & setbacks.
🔸 SP = Sensate Perceiving 🔸 NP = Intuitive P
🔸 SJ = S Judging  🔸NJ -Intuitive J

Se-Ni (SP): When well-aligned, you pursue goals assertively, & are great at working around minor setbacks or environmental obstacles

WEAKNESS: You enjoy things so much you forget to stop & plan stuff out

FAIL: When misaligned, you tend to overlook or misunderstand the deeper meaning & implications of events / behavior, prone to aimlessness or impulsivity, with harmful long-term consequences

Ne-Si (NP): When well-aligned, you’re able to carry out your good ideas, making progress in the world, very resourceful in turning around problems or setbacks

WEAKNESS: So many ideas, but you can’t just pick one, shut up & stick with it

FAIL: When misaligned, you tend to be too idealistic / impractical, very careless about details, sometimes too scatter-brained to succeed, or keep repeating same mistakes
😁

Si-Ne (SJ): When well-aligned, you reliably carry out tasks & duties in a detailed, thorough way, knowing the best methods for handling & implementing logistics

WEAKNESS: So comfortable with routine but a new idea freaks you out

FAIL: When misaligned, you tend to be too stubborn, narrow-minded, or risk-averse, unable to discover new / better ways accomplishing goals, because you can only see / accept one pre-existing or ‘correct’ way

Ni-Se (NJ): When well-aligned, you have ambitious & lofty visions for self &/or the world, very focused in pursuing an ideal

WEAKNESS: Your head’s in the clouds so much, you forget to stop to enjoy things

FAIL: When misaligned, your vision is too limited, or you have unrealistic expectations, too blind to see what you’re chasing is not workable, or that won’t have a positive outcome (maybe blind to important external changes)

🦋 🦋 🦋
TJ = Thinking Judging …..

Te-Fi (TJ): When well-aligned, you’re determined & competent at setting goals & reaching them, very good at leading, & efficient at eliminating obstacles or solving problems

WEAKNESS: The facts are the facts are the facts  – & you don’t care if someone’s feelings get hurt

FAIL: When misaligned, you tend to be too hasty / aggressive in how you try achieving goals, believing the end justifies the means, even trampling over others

Fe-Ti (FJ): When well-aligned, you can accurately assess the needs of everyone involved, & very compassionate in how you resolve interpersonal problems or social issues

WEAKNESS: You want to make everyone happy even if it means ignoring giant internal problems

FAIL: When misaligned, you tend to be socially insecure/inept, easily misunderstanding others (even tho’ you believe you’re great at reading people). You try to influence social situations but choose ineffective strategies that are likely to blow up in your face later
😄

Ti-Fe (TP): When well-aligned, you’re knowledgeable & self-sufficient when trouble-shooting problems, very skilled at resolving whatever issues come your way

WEAKNESS: You want to get to the bottom of what makes the world ‘tick’ & don’t care if it makes society freak out

FAIL: When misaligned, you tend to have poor judgment, worsening rather than solving problems, by being unable / unwilling to see (human) complexities, or by dismissing other people’s valid viewpoints

Fi-Te (FP): When well-aligned, you confidently influence the world to become more moral & just, very passionate about creating opportunities for everyone to flourish

WEAKNESS: You spend so much time in your own world, to the point that facts aren’t important to you

FAIL: When misaligned, your evaluations tend to be too self-centered / subjective, & you keep wasting time on futile action that get negative results – not knowing the best way to produce lasting change in the world.

NEXT: Alcoholism – Intro, #1a

PREVIOUS : Dom-Aux #2

The TERTIARY function is needed for stress relief, if used in healthy way, to :
— give other overworked functions a break
— as a general support for the AUX & for relaxation

Because the MBTI letter of this function is not part of our type, it represents characteristics that tends to be less interesting to us, so fewer of its skills get developed. It generally starts exerting its influence about midlife, & can then
— be used to guide us toward areas of life that have been neglected or avoided, — & that require skills the person doesn’t feel comfortable using.

EXP:  a Thinking type with N-Tert could start taking a literature course & a Thinking type S-Tert might take carpentry or weaving classes…..

AUXILIARY can be negatively affected by an immature TERTIARY:

1 – Si or Ni dominant
Te-Fi (IxTJ) : If Fi-TERTinterferes with Te-AUX, the person can concoct faulty moral reasons for why they should stick to their beliefs at all costs. The result is manipulative or unproductive behavior, causing self-inflicted disappointment & withdrawal.
They may seem individualistic or principled (mistaken for Fi-Dom), but it’s more like. narrow-mindedness, greatly oversimplifying moral issues into crude B & W judgments (the higher Te), to become self-serving & insensitive (unlike Fi-Dom).
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Fe-Ti (IxFJ) : If Ti-TERT interferes with Fe-AUX, the person can come up with faulty logic to neglect / ignore social roles or responsibilities. Their insecure or guarded behavior leads to self-inflicted unhappiness &/or loneliness.
They may seem knowledgeable or analytical, (mistaken for Ti-Dom), but it’s defensive, used to rationalize away mistakes & criticism, or mis-attribute blame (the higher Fe). This creates incoherent / contradictory thinking & cautious behavior (unlike Ti-Dom).

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2 – Se or Ne dominant
Ti-Fe (ExTP) : If Fe-TERT interferes with Ti-AUX , the person can rationalize away their mistakes or bad behavior by twisting their perception of social interactions. They react by being thoughtless or devious, ending in self-inflicted isolation.
While they may seem sociable or charming, but have a calculating underside, treating others as tools / objects for self-centered gain (the higher Ti). This creates relationship failure & social discord (unlike Fe-Dom).
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Fi-Te (ExFP) : If Te-TERT interferes with Fi-AUX, the person can get an immediate but superficial gratification, leading to immoral or destructive behavior, causing self-inflicted suffering.
They can be determined or commanding, but with a desperate bent. They’re more likely aggressive & controlling, to make up for an underlying sense of inadequacy, or to temporarily soothe emotional pain (the higher Fi). This results in unnecessary setbacks or unintended consequences (unlike Te-Dom).

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3 – Ti or Fi dominant
Se-Ni (ISxP) : If Ni-TERT interferes with Se-AUX, the person can make excuses for why they can’t or won’t broaden their outlook. This causes short-sighted or over-simplistic judgments that lead to self-inflicted fatalism or self-defeating thinking.
They may seem serious or brooding, (mistaken for Ni-Dom), but it’s just superficial, carelessly dismissing deeper meaning or potential for growth (the higher Se). So they have a dejected or cynical attitude about what’s possible in life (unlike Ni-Dom)
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Ne-Si (INxP) : If Si-TERT interferes with Ne-AUX, the person can get stuck in their old comfort zones or rely only on past knowledge/experience. The result is doubting or stubborn judgments that lead to self-inflicted pessimism or stagnation.
They may seem reserved or proper, (mistaken for Si-Dom), but it has an obsessive undercurrent. They compulsively fuss over trivial details, misinterpret physical discomfort & irrationally magnify painful past experiences, (unlike Si-Dom) which gets projected as negative future possibilities (the higher Ne).

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4 – Te or Fe dominant
Si-Ne (ESxJ) : If Ne-TERT interferes with Si-AUX the person can continually make excuses for very sloppy decision making, which ends either in disruptive or micro-managing behavior, causing self-inflicted discord & chaos.
They may seem humorous, positive or clever, (mistaken for Ne-Dom( but there’s a grandstanding element used to cover anxiety, or deflect criticism & mistakes (the higher Si). It ends up in bad ideas that fall flat or make situations worse (unlike Ne-Dom).
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Ni-Se (ENxJ) : If Se-TERT interferes with Ni-AUX, the person can selectively only focus on what they wants to see, to justify unsound beliefs, leading to pointless or hasty action that cause self-inflicted failure or defeat.
It makes them seem fun & enthusiastic (mistaken for Se-Dom), but there’s an undercurrent of over-reaction, which makes them irritable & retaliatory when reality crushes expectations (the higher Ni).
They distort / overlook important realistic details, or react poorly to unexpected changes (unlike Se-Dom).(FROM: Type-spotting guide)

NEXT: DOM-INF

PREVIOUS: Dom/Aux #1

The AUXILIARY can be considered a bridge function that connects DOM with the lower half of the Stack (Tert & Inf)), which represents a more sustainable path to the expansion & integration of one’s type.
In most cases, trying to integrate Dom & Inf without the help of AUX creates an either-or / tug-of-war energy, rather than a symbiotic one. This is because the psychological gulf may be too great without the 2nd & 3rd providing additional personality characteristics.

Also, AUX gives needed Extroversion energy for the Introvert, & provides an Introverted opportunity to process experiences for the Extrovert. Without that balance, a person’s life can become ‘unmanageable’.

EXPs: If an Introvert doesn’t use their Extrovert AUX, they’ll just live in their head, imagining all the things they want to do, talking about them – endlessly, even make plans, but never actually DOing them.

💨 If an Extrovert ignores their I Aux, they’ll rush thru life taking actions without stopping to consider why, & making messes even if their motives are good, ignoring consequences to others, or the effect on their own physical & mental health ….

⛈ People who don’t use each function properly can become incompetent flakes who don’t do anything right (in the extreme, of course 🙁).
EXP: An Introvert who only relies on their DOM will start having unreal ideas of the world, while such an Extravert will be reckless & do thoughtless things….

DOM-AUXILIARY pairs at their MOST UNhealthy:

Te/Si and Si/Te (ESTJ or ISTJ) will completely lose sight of why they do & want the things they do & want, robotically going through the motions of life, checking off boxes, until they wake up one day to realize they’ve been miserable for the last 40 years

Se/Fi and Fi/Se (ESFP or ISFP) will be self-absorbed, caring only about their own experiences. They have a lot in common with ENTJ & INTJ, but those 2 types are more likely to bulldoze others into submission – making everyone hate them, while ESFP & ISFP will neglect people – making everyone just feel indifferent
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Se/Ti and Ti/Se (ESTP or ISTP) will become so disconnected from society that their skills & knowledge will lose relevance, but blame everyone else for their problems

Fe/Si and Si/Fe (ESFJ or ISFJ) will be fake & smiley. They’ll do everything possible to keep up the APPEARANCE of having a solid personal life, then let off steam by talking trash behind people’s back. With an unhealthy ESFJ or ISFJ, one can never be sure íf they’re really your friend – or not
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Ne/Ti and Ti/Ne (ENTP or INTP) will devil’s-advocate everything into oblivion, never committing to any opinions of their own

Ne/Fi and Fi/Ne (ENFP or INFP) will get trapped between their needs to consider everything vs making the absolute bestest decision, so become paralyzed
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Te/Ni and Ni/Te (ENTJ or INTJ) will become very, very selfish, not considering others when pursuing their goals

Fe/Ni and Ni/Fe (ENFJ or INFJ) will view the world through B & W colored glasses, while thinking they know what’s best for everyone. In their own mind, they’re morally superior judges standing above an evil, lazy world. In reality – they are just TREMENDOUS jerks.

NEXT: DOM-AUX #2

PREVIOUS: Unhealthy functions (T-F)

DOMINANT needs AUXILIARY to stay balanced – for both making decision and taking action.

Since the STACK is made up of our Type’s 2 center levels, it shows how we –should– gather new information (Perceiving – S or N), then process it & come to some conclusions (Judging – T or F), so we can make decisions that best suit our needs.
EXP:  someone with am E Dom will have an I as AUX to help, & vice versa.

To be psychologically healthy – mentally & emotionally – we all need to be able to move into action by paying attention to our outer world, AND to step back, pause & reflect on our experiences.

AUX’s  ‘nature’ is always different from, but not antagonistic to, our DOM : either of the irrational functions (S/N) can be auxiliary to one of the rationals (T/F), & vice versa.

So, Thinking & iNtuition can easily pair up, as can Thinking & Sensation, since neither N & S are by their nature opposed to the T function. Also,
— S can be bolstered by T or F auxiliary
— F is supported by S or N
— & N goes well with F or T.

EXPs: logical T succeeds with concrete S, speculative T forges ahead with imaginative N, artistic N can choose & present its ideas with the help of F-values, philosophical N systematizes its vision into comprehensive thought by a powerful T intellect …..
(from “General Description of the Types”)

NOTE: People who have not yet explored & developed their AUX may find it harder to identify their type. So, while an INJ may be confident about being an N type, without knowing their AUX they won’t be able to tell if they’re an INTJ or an INFJ.

Also, people ignoring their AUX will act very differently from those who incorporate it in daily living, although this may not always be deliberate, perhaps influenced by unconscious, environmental or other influences. (MORE…. )

♥️ The following info indicates the effect a HEALTHY Auxiliary can have:
🔹With Si or Ni dominant:
Te-Fi (IxTJ): AUX Te can make an Introvert more competent & goal-oriented, to help quickly correct faulty thinking & irresponsible behavior when needed, for better results

Fe-Ti (IxFJ): AUX Fe can make an Introvert more sociable & compassionate, to help them better integrate into social situations, & accept feedback when change is useful

🔹With Ti or Fi dominant:
Se-Ni (ISxP): AUX Se can make an Introvert keen to explore new first-hand or hands-on experiences, to broaden their outlook on life & make better judgments 

Ne-Si (INxP): AUX Ne can make an Introvert keen to imagine new possibilities & make improvements to their life.
🗝 🗝 🗝
🔹 With Se or Ne dominant:
Ti-Fe (ExTP): AUX Ti can make an Extravert more analytical, to correctly calculate which decisions are most likely to produce beneficial results for everyone  

Fi-Te (ExFP): AUX Fi can make an Extravert more ethical & honorable in their decision-making, to avoid unhealthy behaviors that will sabotage themself 

🔹With Te or Fe dominant:
Si-Ne (ESxJ): AUX Si can make an Extravert more careful & thorough in their approach to people/problems, to help manage situations more effectively

Ni-Se (ENxJ): AUX Ni can make an Extravert more nuanced & thoughtful in their approach people/problems, to help carry out their vision successfully
(FROM: Type-spotting guide)
⬇️ 2 CHARTS by Eric Bolden : http://www.erictb.info/temperament2.html

NEXT: AUX #2