SITEEach MBTI type as enemy




ESTP – ENTREPRENEUR / Doer / Persuader

Most FUN  – “Adrenalin junkie”
3.0% females, 5.6% males

GOAL: To win. 
ESTPs are adaptable & action-oriented, focused on immediate results, who like to take a practical approach to problem-solving that will produce immediate results.  They apply common sense & experience to problems, quickly analyzing what’s wrong, & then fixing it, often in an inventive or resourceful way. Living in the here-and-now, they’re risk-takers who live fast-paced, traveling the world. They tend to be bored by abstract theories, impatient with long explanations, & learn best through doing. 

They have great people-skills – friendly, outgoing straight-shooters, & extremely loyal to their peers. Are good at picking up on little clues about others’ personalities & feelings, & can motivate others by bringing energy into situations. They’re not usually respectful of laws & rules if they get in the way of getting things done. ESTPs leap before they look, fixing their mistakes as they go rather than being idle, but prepare contingencies & escape clauses.

ESTPs are: charming, confident, crude, fearless, logical, spontaneous, trustworthy, unconventional. And not all are obsessed with sex. 

Surprising to some, ESTPs value book-smarts & often enjoy conversing with Rational types. They may not grasp ‘heady’ concepts as easily (nor apply them responsibly), but they find philosophical topics stimulating – just another piece of equipment in life’s big playground. While they’re naturally persuasive, they’re not usually interested in corporate & political arenas where they could thrive. Ladder-climbing in organizations doesn’t appeal to them – in fact, many ESTPs cringe at the very idea, so they rarely pursue those career tracks.

Life’s Purpose:  DOing when others don’t
• Their Law: “You shall always live in the moment!”
• They Comfort others by saying: Alright…..So you’re sad. Why is that?

• They say: I get more from first-hand experience than from study. Rules are made to be broken – so watch me break them! Life’s either a daring adventure or nothing at all
Communication: They’ll talk whether someone likes it or not – look out world. They should stop talking about nothing.

• Weaknesses:
 Defiant, insensitive, impulsive, impatient, misses big picture, risk-prone, unstructured, contradicting themselves
Manipulate: Mess others around because – one day they’re hung-ho about a life-changing project or promise, then lose interest in it the next day

• Paradoxes: (Un-developed ESTP) Knows they shouldn’t, & do it anyway. Bold & undependable. Think they’re funny, &/but only to those who are like them
Judge people: on their ‘smarts’  • Fear: Of commitment
Are Judged for: not taking life seriously

Become STRESSED from situations shown in the illustration
Under stress they act first, figure things out later. They deal with problems & frustrations by going after more & more external stimulation & adventure (similar to EnneaType 7s). When disappointed or restless, they think it’s time to re-create their (lagging or previous) successful public persona. They either find a new audience to charm, or resort to some grand gesture to reinforce their image & make them feel desirable/popular again (Ennea #3)

However, internally they suffer from a deep sense of emptiness, so intimacy becomes almost impossible, as they get increasingly detached from true emotional connections. As stress mounts, they get more agitated, chronically anxious, distracted & paranoid, but overactive, frivolous & too concerned with people’s opinions of them.

• Hate: Asking for help – it makes them feel stupid. Authority. Conventional or monotonous situations. Over-sensitive people. Constantly being asked how they feel about things. Forced to ‘tone it down’. Limits. Stupid people. When someone wants a heart-to-heart talk just as they’re ready to go out for some fun

• Don’t argue with ESTPs when they’re holding: The door open for you
• Never: Dominate them.  • Never tell them: Nothing you do is very impressive

Advice: Keep your promises, or don’t make them at all.
ESTPs tend to have trouble managing their time, so they can lose interest in long, complex projects. Being so focused on immediate problems will lead to ignoring long-term ongoing issues. They live for excitement!, being the life of the party, thriving on adrenaline!  However, periodically taking some time to shut out the world – & writing down all their adventures – could help to create much-needed balance.

Many ESTPs are uncomfortable focusing on, exploring & talking about relationships. They need to take time to consider their true priorities, & to realize the effect their choices have on others around them. When they take responsibility for their actions & acknowledge their importance in a larger context, they become more stable, reliable, & emotionally honest.

ESTP Relationships (More….)
truly love life, immersing yourself in it. Partners & friends experience you as adventurous but also pragmatic

• Thrive in any that are: fun & easy-going (More….)
• As a Friend, you’re the one obsessed with that one thing, & will. not. stop. talking. about it!
• Annoyed when: someone never wants to go outside

ESTP parent, & child of ESTP, ESTP child

Still single because: it’s your choice
• Unhealthy behavior: Cheating

Show interest by: Being awkward
Show love: You’re attentive to their comfort, will motivate & boost their courage
• You want to hear: I’m excited with you

• You’re attractive/sexy because: Something about your down-to-earth, hands-on style is tantalizing – you ooze ‘tactile’. It’s hard to resist your passion & will-power

You should DATE someone who: won’t take your occasional stream of b.s. Who’s intelligent & can stand up to your know-it-all attitude. Who can keep you from taking too many risks, but lets you be yourself, & can also keep you excited

• To attract you (men?), someone needs to: Act sweet, wide-eyed, impressed with everything they do. Their ego will respond well to your fuel.

FAMOUS ESTPs: Donald Trump, cowboy Roy Rodgers, actors Eddie Murphy, Madonna, Bruce Willis, Biblical Jacob (OT) & Peter (NT) (More….)


ACoAs – HUMILITY (Part 2)

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the more humility!

PREVIOUS: Arrogance vs HUMILITY (2a)

SITES: ‘’HUMILITY – the most beautiful word in the English Language’’


QUOTEs :  “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit” ~ Aristotle
• “Confidence without Humility is arrogance. Humility without confidence is self-deprecation” Anon.

• know their inner worth, not depending on out-performing others, or having to always be ’the first, the best, the most…. ’
• don’t have to frantically chase some intangible or unrealistic degree of importance, success, fame or power

• have an honest, accurate assessment of their actual talents, their limits & areas that need improving. Can admit mistakes, & ask for forgiveness
• have a clear perspective of present-day reality, respecting their place in whatever context they’re in
• can handle frustrating situations with a genuine sense of inner ‘serenity’, since they respond, rather than react, to life’s challenges.
• able to control their temper
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• able to value but not spoil themselves (give in to every whim of the WIC)
• courteous, respectful, not pretentious, not boastful or gloating about their accomplishments
• good for the sake of being good, admitting they’re as human as everyone else
• happy to work behind the scenes when required or appropriate, knowing their work is as important as any done in the spotlight
• not attracted to superficial or unhealthy behavior
• OK with being an ordinary / average person (even when ‘special’, gifted, ‘important’), not needing to be part of some ‘in crowd’ to feel acceptable
• teachable – assuming there’s always more to learn about & from all PPT
• willing to yield the right to be right. Do not demand their rights


• able & willing to forgive others, letting go of grudges & bitterness
• comfortable with others’ success. H prevents embarrassing themselves in competitive situations
• compassionate & look for the best in others (realistically). Give others the benefit of the doubt
• motivated to help people, aware that others have needs too
 • ask Qs & love dialogue (not assume they know), & use conversation to explore new worlds
• ALSO put energy & effort into listening
• don’t gossip, especially about faults they see in others
• don’t pre-judge others’ behavior – knowing that everyone has their own
reasons for doing things (that are annoying), even if they don’t know or never find out what those are
• know they need others, so allow themselves to be open & vulnerable rather than closed & ‘distant’
• respect those in authority, & pray for them to have wisdom
• speak simply, not trying to manipulate or trip others up
• show honest interest in others, by asking about their lives & accomplishments
• treat each person as someone of value, regardless of position in society, profession, age or economic status

Social Activism: One form H is in the area of reform, such as in thhelp otherse 2013 workshop by Melanie Marie Tervalon “Cultural Humility: Working in Partnership with Families & Communities”.
Included topics were: Reversing health disparities in the US / Using tools of cultural competence & cultural humility at work

In Business: Humility is studied as a multi-dimensional trait, which includes awareness, self-understanding, openness & perspective ability. People with these qualities are valued because they tend to be more generous, selfless & altruistic

• Jim Collins, in “Built To Last: Successful Habits of Visionary Companies” (1994), says humility is a key ingredient at the highest level of executive ability. “Humility + Will = Level 5 leaders, who are a study in duality – modest and willful, shy and fearless, patient yet express fierce resolve.” (MORE….)

humble leadersConfident leaders succeed, but not at the expense of others. They have broader spheres of influence, attract better talent, inspire more confidence, loyalty & respect. Truly H people are quietly self-assured, giving them more determination & commitment

Humble LEADER come from a position of strength, & are more persuasive. They HAVE the:
• courage to set aside personal gain to benefit others
• character to respond charitably when attacked
• candor to be honest, & ability to change course if necessary (MORE….)

SITEs: 3 Reasons to Be Humble: People, Agility, and Growth”, re. entrepreneurs
Humility: The Foundation Value of Innovation Leadership”

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