Enneagram Type 4 – Flaws in us ALL


type 4

 

PREVIOUS: Type 3 flaws


 

IMPORTANT
Review explanation for each category in the INTRO post 
Associated Type is inside the ( )

 

Type 4 COWARDICE because of CDs (#6)
• re. rejection: Worry about & interpret events as rejecting you
• re. closeness: Think that if you get too close to someone they’ll find your intrinsic defects, be critical & leave
• re. affirmation: Think mainly about what’s wrong with you, & a reluctant to consider what’s just fine

Type 4 FLATTERY (#2)
• Comparing yourself negatively to others, making them so much better
• Act interested, make conversation, & pay attention to another when what you’re really rather leave
• Believe what other says about you, as if it were more real than what you actually know about yourself (honor someone else’s opinion over your own)

Type 4 LAZINESS / indolence (#9)
You can seem distracted even under normal times, especially when distressed
• Spend too much time & effort on how to express yourself so you’ll be understood, or not misunderstood, that you lose track of what you really meant to say
• Think that your most recent emotions are the realest, being too lazy to go deeper to find what’s underneath
• Think about how to shift your hurt onto others so you won’t feel quite so upset, without taking the time to consider what motivates this tactic, or what effect this has on yourself & others

Type 4 MOODINESS (melancholy & resulting separation) (#4)
• Think only about what you don’t have, instead of what you do have
• See yourself as fundamentally inferior to or less than other
• Recycle negative thoughts about yourself, other people & situation

Type 4 PLANNING (as compulsion) (#7)
• about how to avoid feeling deficient
• about how to prevent getting into situations that’ll trigsharingger your sense of being not being good-enough
• about how to directly fight situations that might cause you feeling inadequate

Type 4 RESENTMENT (#1)
• Obsess about what you’re missing, what’s wrong with you & others
• Wonder why others seem to have or get what they want, but not you
• Think about how reality comes up short compared to your internal dreams & ideas of how you want things can be

Type 4 STINGINESS (#7)
• with sharing qualities, accomplishments… that are very important to you: Think that if others have something of value, you need to have it too, & even wish the other person didn’t have it (greed/envy)

• with attention: Convinced you always need attention from others, & if someone else is getting it instead, you have to either attract more focus on yourself or diminish the other person in some way
• with self-affirmations: Think mainly about what’s deficient in yourself, rather than your excellent qualities

Type 4 VANITY (#3)
• Think you’re superior to others because you’re ‘deeper’, more sophisticated, or more in touch with a higher reality
• Believe you have a more advanced capacity for understanding emotions, symbols & esoterica than everyone else
• Think that ‘authentic relating’ is the absolute best way of interacting & that you’re the best at it

Type 4 VENGEANCE (#8)
What sets you off is thinking someone has –
• ignored, slighted or demeaned you in any way
• implicitly compared you to another to make you “less than”
• misunderstood or violated your values

REACTION
:
decide that person is a ‘perpetrator abusing innocent victims’
• convinced they have an over-inflated sense of self
• think of all the ways to bring that person “down to size”
GROWTH:  Ask “Am I displaying my objectivity and emotional balance?”
ALSO
Type 4 DISTORTED LENS
Too close – you’re can only see what’s right in front of you instead of the bigger picture
Lesson: We can take things too personally, focus on unimportant details & our reactions to everything, so we miss other info that would let us be objective

Type 4 HANGING ON
Hold on to: • to being different from everyone
• feeling constantly slighted
• identify with our shifting emotional states
• long for an idyllic “dream-world” where everyone feels the deepest sense of beauty & inter-connectivity

Why:
to maintain ‘your sense of self as the person who’ is different & unique from others because you’ve chosen to be that way, which lets you feel in control of a sense of existential deficiency
Let go of: the belief that there’s something wrong with you which is not wrong with others

Type 4 get OFF-BALANCE by:
• having intense, shifting emotions & not understanding them
• feeling rejected by anyone, but particularly someone you care about
• wanting to manifest you dreams, but not knowing how

Type 4 MAYA (delusion) Screen Shot 2015-08-26 at 12.00.37 AM
Think that being so in touch with your feelings, & pondering them with such great intensity – it makes them real, when in fact the emotions you ‘explore & express’ are neither your deepest nor the most real

Type 4 WORRY
“Why do I feel so continuously hurt? Why did he/she/they act that way toward me? What’s wrong with me? Why do they keep doing those things to me? I must be doing something wrong, but what is it? Why don’t they understand me?”

NEXT: Ennea Flaws Type 5

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