Enneagram Type 3 – Flaws in us ALL


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PREVIOUS: Type 2 flaws

 

IMPORTANT
Review explanation for each category
in the INTRO post 
Associated Type inside the ( )

 


Type 3 COWARDICE
because of CDs (#6)
• re. failure: think that failure is simply not allowed in you vocabulary, or is something you’ve never experienced first-hand
• re. being unmasked: worry, often unconsciously, that you’ll be found out to be a fraud in some way
• re. intimacy: think you can’t get too close to others emotionally, because it would make you too vulnerable, be less able to function/ achieve, or reveal your inadequacy in this area

Type 3 FLATTERY (#2)
• think about how to create a positive impression in another’s eyes – by pretending to be more interested in the others than you actually are
• think through how to engage famous or important people, so that some of their celebrity rubs off on you
• never share your real thoughts about another person – especially negative ones – so you won’t ruin your image or your relationship

Type 3 LAZINESS / Indolence (#9)
You’re often thought of as very focused (or over-focused), but many 3s use their Arrow Line to Nine as a break from stress. YOU:
• don’t want to think about anything serious, so get into relaxing routines (soc-med, jogging, food…), more as a way to not pay attention to yourself
• believe that emotions are a distraction from work, then escape into activity that will avoid them
• don’t reflect on who you really are. Instead, see yourselfshare success? as the persona you’ve created

Type 3 MOODINESS (melancholy & resulting separation) (#4)
• Think of yourself as a fake who pretends to be something you’re not (or not fully) & eventually will get ‘caught’
• Believe you’re totally without value when something you’ve tried to do doesn’t work
• think you’re completely adrift & a nobody when you have no goals or plans

Type 3 PLANNING – as compulsion (#7)
Plan how to achieve a specific goal you’ve set for yourself, how to get from point A to point B as efficiently & effectively as possible

Type 3 RESENTMENT (#1)
• Obsess about why someone disrespected you for your abilities, then treat them in a way that shows a lack of respect
• Obsess about how someone in authority changed the rules of the game on you in mid-stream
• Can’t understand why other team members are so incompetent or show such a lack of commitment to your joint activity

Type 3 STINGINESS (#5)
• with time: think yours is more valuable than that of others
• with sharing success: Believe you must compete with others to be successful and win, or else you’ve failed
• with sharing certain information about yourself: think that opening up would make you seem less confident or not accomplished

Type 3 VANITY (#3)
• Decide, consciously or unconsciously, to delete information about yourself that would make you look bad
 to yourself & to others
• Think you can accomplish just about anything you set your mind to
• Believe you’re the image of success which you’ve created – confusing your Real Self with that image

Type 3 VENGEANCE (#8)
What sets you off is thinking someone :
• has made you look bad or sabotaged you
• blamed you for a problem that was not you responsibility
• taken credit for your work

REACTION: dismiss the person as a ‘loser’ & think of ways to ignore them
GROWTH: Be willing to disclose information that may not make you look good or may not conform with my ‘public’ image – IF safe or appropriate

ALSO
Type 3 DISTORTED LENS
Narrow focus : embellish reality by assuming your accomplishments & qualities are better than you imagine them to be
Lesson: ‘Blinders’ on any part of your vision can make you miss the most important elements of a situation

Type 3 HANGING ON (need to let go)
Hold on to:
• under-expressed sadness, anxiety, anger
• being competent, resourceful, goal-driven, effective, successful, confident

Why
: to keep your ‘sense of self as the person who’ can accomplish whatever you want by being goal orientated, & intensely focus
Let go of: the belief you must follow societal (or your social-referent group) standards of success to feel good about yourself

Type 3 put OFF-BALANCE by:
• having goals changed on you by an outside factor or individufalse freedomal
• not knowing what you want to do
• being ‘forced’ to discuss strong emotional reactions in depth

Type 3 MAYA (delusion)
Doing what you think you want is actually doing what you think you should want, & not understanding the difference between them

Type 3 WORRY
“What if I can’t really do this? What if I don’t live up to expectations? How do I know what I really want (rather than what I think I should want)? Will I get found out?”

NEXT: All Flaws – Type 4

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