Enneagram Type 2 – Flaws in us ALL

or else I’m wither away

PREVIOUS: Type 1 – all flaws


Review explanation for each category
in the INTRO post 
Associated Type inside the ( )

because of CDs (#6)
• re. being alone : when you’re alone for long periods of time (or could be as short as an hour) you think something’s very wrong, becoming anxious & at a loss for what to do
• re. admitting your dependency needs: believe you don’t depend on others, but rather that others need & depend on you

• re. not being “nice”: you believe everything you do is & must be thoughtful & considerate. So when you’re not, you try to come up with reasons that your thoughts, feelings or actions weren’t all that ‘bad’, or were just a reaction to someone else’s ‘poor’ behavior

• about what each person might need from you
• that you should do something you really don’t want to do, then doing it, so you won’t feel like a selfish person
• how to engage another in conversation about them, & not at all about you

Type 2 LAZINESS / Indolence (#9)
You may seem a little distracted & vague, or focused & extremely alert. But all 2s are indolent in specific ways. YOU
• pay so much attention to others & their needs, instead of your own – so are indolent about yourself
• neither identify nor acknowledge your true emotions & thoughts, to preserve relationships & avoid conflict with anyone important to you

no selfie• think about what is or isn’t OK to express – WITHOUT being clear enough about who you are – your honest opinions or true desires. You believe they’re not legitimate or too dangerous, so you’re not up to leadership

Type 2 MOODINESS (melancholy & resulting separation) (#4)
• Wonder why you’re not happy since you do so many good things for others
• Believe no one really appreciates you, or that a specific person doesn’t value you, because they hurtful your feelings
• Wonder why your relationships are troubled when you put so much energy & effort into them

Type 2 PLANNING (as compulsion) (#7)
• Plan out how other people should connect & behave
• Obsess about what others should do that’s in their best interests, how they should ideally behave toward themselves, others or projects
• Plan out how you can be useful or add value to others

Type 2 RESENTMENT (#1)
• Obsess about all you’ve done for others, when there has been little or no reciprocation
• Play over in your mind (obsess) why your opinions/ suggestions were not listened to as much as someone else’s
• Think about times when your or others have been ill-treated, & wonder why people do that

Type 2 STINGINESS (#5)
• with acknowledgment: considering someone who’s wronged you, you feel they no longer deserve anything from you, so you stop providing or cut back on any further resources, attention or acknowledgment
• with self-care: believe you don’t deserve the kind of care & attention you so willingly give others, so are stingy with providing them for yourself
• with generosity: assume you’re entitled to give some people or groups but not others (subjective-giving), while also having the self-delusion you’re actually generous to everyone

Type 2 VANITY (#3)
• Wish & hope that others would be as considerate as you are, & wonder why they pay so little attention to this important way of interacting
• Think you can get anyone you want to like you
• Believe you’re so good & selfless, while others seem to give into the baser motivate of self-serving self-interest

Type 2 VENGEANCE (#8)
What sets you off is thinking :
• someone’s taken you for granted or used you
• not listened to or dismissed you
• when they’ve hurt other people

REACTION: you label them in negative ways – from being rude to having deeply rooted character flaws, AND decide to make someone ‘invisible’ by completely ignoring them
GROWTH – Practice expressing your own needs & feelings directly, & in real-time

Embellished focus: Exaggerate reality by adding elements not really there
Lesson: False-abundance you ‘picture’ is only potential, not reality

Type 2 HANGING ON (need to let go of)
Holding on to:
• being thoughtful, considerate, responsive, unselfish, without needs
• slights, when others have wronged you in some way (ignored or insulted you, accused you of bad intentions….)

to keep ‘your sense of self as the person’ who is so good that you consistently put others above yourself (false modesty)
Let go of: the belief that your only value comes from how much you do for others

Type 2 put OFF-BALANCE by:
• When someone you care about (or want some sort of relationship with) moves away or avoids you for unknown reasons
• Putting yourself first, so you don’t do something for someone else, leading to great anxiety & guiltperfect
• Being in a social or business situation where no one responds to you

Type 2 MAYA (delusion)
Think that being so focused & intent on others means you can really do no wrong. Wrong!

Type 2 WORRY
“Will I be accepted? Have I hurt someone? Did I express myself too strongly or too weakly? Do I respect myself? Why am I so effected by other people’s reactions to me? Will the people I care about be OK? Who really cares about me?”

NEXT: Type flaws, #3

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