I WISH I DIDN’T HAVE TO
deal with these defects

PREVIOUS: Enneagram Defects, Part 3a

SITE: Everything Enneagram book

 

TYPE 4 – The INDIVIDUALIST (also 3w4 & 5w4, somewhat)
FEAR: of being insignificant, unseen, without identity – so they become moody, hypersensitive & pretentious
INTERNAL Story: “I must always be unique”

WEAKNESS : Being ordinary is experienced as boring, but also makes them ‘feel’ like a nobody, so they’re jealous of other people-places-things. Insist on having all of their emotional needs met at once
DEFENSIVE PATTERN: ‘Introjection’ – to avoid ordinariness & keep self image of being authentic. Internally they magnify a positive ideal, & obsess on self-blame for any painful outcome ​

HIDE from others: “I’m not as sensitive as I appear to be.”
Envy/ jealousy that others seem to have more & are treated better than themselves – so 4s to develop an aura of emotional hyper-sensitivity. They want special treatment, thinking it’ll compensate for all the unfair treatment they’re experienced

PROJECTION: Being ‘Common’ is projected onto others, who are seen as detached, insensitive, overly cheery, plain, predictable, rude, shallow AND not terribly interesting or refined.
4s think they unique & interesting, but always misunderstood. So they think it’s up to them to restore class, refinement & sensibility to the culture

MANIPULATE by: being erratic, temperamental, hard to get’, making others “walk on eggshells”
Create CONFLICT by: being dramatic, emotionally demanding, moody, pretentious, self-absorbed, self-indulgent, temperamental, withholding

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TYPE 5 – The INVESTIGATOR (also 4w5 & 6w5, somewhat)
FEAR: of being helpless, useless & incapable, of be emotionally overwhelmed, so avoid as much contact as possible with the world
INTERNAL Story: “I must always be detached”

WEAKNESS: Their urge to know everything on a topic or situation helps avoid a sense of emptiness. Insist on personal space & non-interference
DEFENSIVE PATTERN: ‘Isolation’ – withdraw to avoid feeling small & helpless, & keep self-image of being all-knowing. Provides the space to develop a sense of structure & try to understand their ‘problem’

HIDE from others:“I’m not as smart as I appear to be.”
Holding back / isolating prevents 5s from having to share their emotional life with others – mainly relating by their intellect. Their source of strength is in accumulated knowledge, using it to keep others away

PROJECTION: Project their lack of all knowledge onto others, so feel like they’re surrounded by a “confederacy of dunces” (Sherlock Holmes). Others are considered emotional, foolish, overly effusive and chatty, myopic, oblivious, shallow-minded, stupid.
5s can either avoid others entirely, OR research & discover TRUTHS, & then enlightening everyone else

MANIPULATE by: staying preoccupied with thoughts & projects, distancing emotionally from others  (Forum….. )
Create CONFLICT by: being detached, extreme, high-strung, impractical, isolated, preoccupied, provocative, unconventional, uncompromising

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TYPE 6 – The LOYALIST (also 5w6 & 7w6, somewhat)
FEAR: of never having support, & not being able to survive on their own, becoming defiant, defensive & suspicious
INTERNAL Story: “I must always be secure”

WEAKNESS : Anxiety, doubt & worry lead to a lack of trust in themselves, so are indecisive & procrastinating. They fluctuating between a need for be close & a need to be alone, between self-distrust & over-reacting
DEFENSIVE PATTERN: ‘Projecting’ – their feelings on to loved ones & authority figures​ – to avoid feelings of rejection & to keep a self-image of being loyal

HIDE from others: “I’m not as committed as I appear to be.”
Fear of being punished & disapproved of, from an internal or external authority figure, drives 6s to be overly-responsible & loyal. This makes them seem committed to any given cause, which is mainly to their own need for security

PROJECTION: project rebelliousness & power onto others, who are seen as flighty, isolated, overly trusting, negligent, reckless, threatening, & trying to get away with something

📌 For fearful 6s the world is experienced as disappointing & unsafe, so it is up themselves to create certainty, order, safety & security everywhere
📍 Counter-phobic 6s (not conscious of their great fear) project ambivalence onto others, especially authority, seeing them as inconsistent & untrustworthy – so they must scold or train others to be consistent & fair

MANIPULATE by: being evasive, complaining, testing others’ commitment to them
Create CONFLICT by: blaming, being defensive, doubtful, evasive, negative, pessimistic, reactive, suspicious, worried.

NEXT: Defects – Part 3c