EnneaTypes – Language STYLES (Types 6, 7)

fun talking


it helps to know everyone’s style

PREVIOUS: Talk Types 4-5


Self-talk: ‘But what if …’
Words : But… have you thought of? No. Not possible, Not today – maybe.
are about: tomorrow, real / reality, what about….? worst-case, why?
Public Speaking Manner: ‘Shotgun’ OR Apologetic

Style: 6s have a nervy, quick style of talking which can be witty & giggly, OR pejoScreen Shot 2015-05-19 at 6.20.05 PMrative & grouchy.
• Are engaging, information-oriented, thoughtful
• Alternate between staccato, hesitant speech -&- bold, confident speech
• Can use emotion-laden language OR talk in short shotgun blasts
• Freely discuss worries, concerns, & “what ifs”
• Start with analytical comments, but ask a lot of questions

Pitfalls: Either doubt their own message, so sound confused & unclear OR push their cause down everyone’s throat.
Can be overly negative: “It’ll be doom & gloom if you don’t change…..”.
They assume hidden motives & danger where there are none. Can use shock techniques because of ambivalence toward authority.

Use language to
: defend, question, second-guess, trouble-shoot, warn
Others can experience 6s as challenging, contrary, doubting, pessimistic

by: testing other people’s commitment to them by endless complaining or being evasive. Need to set the record straight “just so you don’t misunderstand….”
BLOCK others by: automatically negating a person or their idea

: blaming, cross-examining, distrusting, quick, relentless
vacillating, victimizing.
6s are triggered by feeling mistrustful or being blamed. They can become terrier-like & questioning when feeling insecure or abandoned.

For BOUNDARIES: need to ‘reject’ put-downs & excuses
To FLOW in conversation, need AWARENESS – of thoughts, choices & emotions in self & others

To RESOLVE conflicts with 6s:
• Stay calm but do not dismiss them, insult their intelligence, flatter or appease them.
• Don’t get lost in their arguing circle & if it feels like a marathon – walk away
• Hold your opinion but don’t be stubborn about seeing their point of view
• Don’t try to win – it will only escalate the argument. Instead, try to find common ground & allay their fears of abandonment or anger
• Admit any ulterior motives you may have
• DON’T ever tell a 6 to calm down!

✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥

Self-talk: ‘On a lighter note’.
Words : “I / me, ‘yes’, more, let’s go
are about: deals, fun, ideas, option, opportunities, plans, travel, trapped
Public Speaking Manner: Enthusiastic storyteller

Style: 7s want to enjoy everything, so they’ll use wit, storytelling & a dramatihaving func tone to heighten their pleasure in the act of talking.
• Avoid negative topics about themselves (or others)
• Re-frame negative info to make it seem positive
• Shift from topic to topic
• Tell engaging stories & can be very funny
• analytical & idea-oriented
• charming, exuberant, fast-paced, sociable, spontaneous, upbeat

Pitfalls: Can get too attached to their own stories, like making a saga out of a mundane trip to the post office, often not relevant to the topic at hand.
Can be too idealistic, use too much humor or put too much emphasis on fun, so the listener won’t believe or trust them. They know a little about everything, but little or nothing in depth

Use language to
: change topics, check out, deflect, entertain, imagine, joke, laugh, move on, sample, shift gears, tell stories
Others can experience 7s as indifferent to others’ input, making excuses, quickly changing topics, self-absorbed, undependable

MANIPULATE / create CONFLICT by: distraction & being entertaining, to get what they want, & insist that others meet their demands. Being a wheeler-dealer, a know-it-all. Making light of serious situations
BLOCK others by: going in too many directions, not focused on the person they’re talking to, use diversions

style:  act arrogant, condescending, disinterested, disappearing, insensitive,  mocking, with tantrums
7s are triggered by feeling trapped or limited, so usually try to get away from conflict, or react explosively to escape negativity.

For BOUNDARIES: need to use ‘distractions’ / being broad-minded – to open themselves up to new possibilities
To FLOW in conversation, need JOY: grow into the wonderful possibilities of being alive

To RESOLVE conflicts with 7s:
• They’ll flee at any difficulty, so let them know how this effects your relationship
• Give them their space but hold them to a time when the conflict can be resolved. If they try to leave, ask them to set aside time for you to discuss it (5s like this too).
• Don’t harp too much on what they’re doing wrong or they’ll shut down.
• Equally – don’t sugar coat things but re-frame problems so they can take in the your point without feeling too threatened.

NEXT: TALK types (Types 8, 9)

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