ACoAs – Being Negative (Part 4)

isn’t it crazy to talk to it?


SITEsComplaining Rewires Brain for Negativity...

Positive Power of Negative Thinking(balancing view)

Negative Thinking (NT) (cont)
2. re. Personal RELATIONSHIPS

3. re. Our BODY
UNTRUE – At one extreme are the ACoAs who are hypochondriacs — the disorder that makes a person believe that symptoms, real or imagined, are signs of a serious illness —-> even when medical science can prove otherwise.
It’s their preoccupation with health, misinterpretiimagined illnessng a physical sensation & making it something it’s not.
Illness becomes a part of the hypochondriac’s identity, causing relationships & work problems. It occurs in men and women equally.

💚 This relentless unrealistic NT about our body is a substitute (defense) for not feeling the huge backlog of hidden painful emotions we’ve had bury to survive. And long-term, it harms our immune system (Psycho-Neuro-Immunology).

TRUE – However – many ACoAs suffer with real physical problems, FROM:
• years of addictions, self-abuse & neglect
• being under constant emotional, mental & spiritual stress as kids, plus physical/sexual abuse, which later creates medical conditions (ACEs Science – adverse childhood experiences)

• hereditary factors in alcoholic families: birth traumas, childhood ailments, mental illness, bad teeth & gums, depression, bipolar disorder, dyslexia, ADD, SAD, EDS, severe food allergies (wheat, sugar…) various auto-immune & environmental illness & other chemical imbalances
SITE:“…severe childhood trauma can alter developing brain”

➼ Whether inherited or self-inflicted – it’s imperative that we do not use NT toward our bodies. We must never, ever, curse our cells or wounded parts! If we stay fearful, worried, projecting the worst, OR rage at our organs, limbs, nervous system… the body absorbs that negative energy & may take longer to heal or maybe not at all. (Cartoons re. responses to Physical vs Mental illness)

Healthy EXP: Jody had a motor-bike accident which damaged a muscle group just above one knee & caused a limp. Along with Feldenkeris & Brain Gym, she spent time doing Positive Inner Dialogue. She pictured the injury & talked tenderly to her leg – “I love you & am so sorry you’re hurt. I can see the cells repairing themselves using the healing energy I’m sending you. You’re important to me & I need you. I want you to be strong again… ” While the muscle took longer to heal, the limp cleared up right away & all of the damage was eventually repaired.

5. re. THINGS
• This is a more subtle form of NT – saying bad things about objects, places, events…. anything not alive. Many people think it’s perfectly ok to call things insulting names : ‘Damn that stupid chair! I stub my toe on it every time!’ or ‘My car is such a piece of shit. It’s always breaking down.hate things

• What’s wrong with that? They don’t have feelings, so what’s the big deal? Well, it’s more of the same – projecting our WIC’s early experiences onto outside objects AND putting out more negative energy, which then gets reinforced by others.
Reciprocal negative attraction explains why some people keep moving in the wrong direction, ie. away from ease, comfort & safety.

Reality Check • Since the chair is inanimate, stubbing your toe will have something to do with the placement of the chair and/or the way you move thru space. In her autobiography  Nancy Friday tells of constantly getting black & blue from bumping into things. In therapy she learned that she was unconsciously punishing herself for her (repressed) rage at her mother

• And the car may be old & breaking down, but it’s not the fault of the car. Maybe of the manufacturer, or yours – for not taking better care of it – or it just needs to be replaced & you’re mad & ashamed because you can’t afford to!

ACoAs tend to get things backwards, blaming things instead of identifying the real source of our pain. To be emotionally & mentally clean we need to identify & own:
😣 our disowned emotions (anger, hopelessness, disappointment, fear…) which then deny / ignoreget projected on to others

😡 that we ignore actual harmful experiences, & then redirect our anger & hurt back on to ourselves or to innocuous objects

Blatant negativity is hard to miss, but ours can be subtle, so others may not even realize how often we’re thinking that way.

NEXT: “Being Negative (Part 4)

2 thoughts on “ACoAs – Being Negative (Part 4)

  1. Donna
    Thank you so much for these great blogs lately. They’ve been terrific! And for all your hard work. So generous of you & so helpful to me.

    Would you expand on this (below) comment a little? How exactly do we tend to take out NT on our bodies? :

    “Whether inherited or self-inflicted – it is imperative that we do not use NT toward our bodies. We must never, ever, curse our cells or wounded parts! If we stay fearful, worried, projecting the worst, OR rage at our organs, limbs, nervous system… the body absorbs that negative energy.”

    Also, what is “S & I”?

    “● it would require S & I from the family, which is never easy.”



    • Anon -Thanks for writing. I’m glad the work is helpful.

      S & I = Separation & Individuation – & there are post about S & I you can type into the search box. Also, check the “Acronym” page at the top for all abbreviations.

      Re the body – the explanation is there in the sentences you quoted. Don’t hate or put down any part of you gender, appearance or physical limitations.


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