IT’S GOOD TO GET MY ANGER OUT
as long as it’s in a SAFE way
PREVIOUS: Anger Myths (Part
🔐 is “all in your head”
True: that anger is first generated in the brain, but….
False: …..in that it’s not just a state of mind or made up. All emotions are primarily physical experiences, felt throughout the whole body. It’s instantly experienced in all our muscles long before we’re conscious of how we’re feeling – the hairs on the back of the neck, tightening in gut, finger-temperature warming up, + RISING: blood pressure, blood sugar levels, heart rate, respiration rate…..
EXP: “I feel like I have a big fist pressing on my chest when I get that angry / I have trouble swallowing that / I have a knot in my stomach….”
➼ It is impossible to hide anger from the skilled observer (body stance, tone of voice…), though many people miss the signs in themselves (FIGURE —> Finnish research )
🔐when suppressed, always has negative health problems
False: This is not inevitable, particularly if we have some control over whatever situation is causing the anger, but it may create problems in relationships.
Also, the latest research has disproven the theory that suppressed anger results in stomach ulcers. Bacterial infections or drugs that attack the lining of the stomach are the most common causes (Post: Somatizing anger)
True/False: Researchers have discovered there can sometimes be a correlation between anger & depression, but not always, & not automatically. Sometimes there is just anger, & sometimes there’s just depression (such as when it’s physical/hereditary)
🔐 is the result of human conflict
False: Damaged parents dump their anger on their young ones even when the children haven’t done anything to ‘deserve/earn’ it. And – as adults we can just as easily be angry/ cranky/ mean because of internal unhappiness & S-H as from what others do or don’t do.
ALSO, a leading experts on anger has found that people can get angry by being exposed to foul odors, aches & pains, hot temperatures — none of which involve (or can be blamed on) the actions of others. (MORE….)
True: Continual conflict can easily escalate from irritation & frustration to rage to homicide or war. On a smaller scale, other people can push our buttons, especially the ones we haven’y dealt with (BUTTONS: being accused wrongly, being disappointed or disrespected, ignored….).
Wars are fought over being wronged in some way, generating anger, OR greed on a large scale, which is not about anger
🔐 can be relieved or released by yelling, hitting, kicking or punching things (not people)….. & always needs to be dumped
False: Some studies have shown that people who arbitrarily vent their anger in aggressive ways simply get better at being angry. Yelling or punching may release tension, but by itself doesn’t deal with the underlying problem (Post: Volcanic anger)
True: Appropriately releasing anger is called “catharsis”. Along with some form of Cognitive-Behavioral therapy (CBT), physical release of stored anger/rage-energy is necessary for full Recovery, especially – but not exclusively – for people who are Kinesthetically oriented.
This can be in the form of Brain Re-patterning, Trauma Release work, Core Energetics, Psychodrama, pounding in a safe, private place…. (MORE…… // Anger & exercise)
🔐 is relieved or eliminated by talking it out
False: In her book “Anger:The Misunderstood Emotion”, Carol Tavris states, “Talking out an emotion doesn’t reduce it, it rehearses it.” This is true for many who want to stay angry because it prevents them from feeling vulnerable.” This way of dealing with anger is actually resentment – because we’re only thinking about it (T), instead of actually feeling it (E).
NOTE: ACoA FoO therapy will often increase our awareness of the anger we’ve stored from childhood hurt as we come out of denial (thaw frozen emotions), about how much damage we suffered as kids. Then crying & body-work is needed for release.
NEXT: ACoAs & Humiliation (#1)