PREVIOUS: Healthy Adult & Loving Parent #1

3.  BUILDING the UNIT (cont)

♥  INNER DIALOGUES –
❀  Everyone’s INNER CHILD combines emotions, experiences, memories & thoughts from childhood. It’s made up of:
• every age & developmental stage we’re lived thru
• our interactions with family, school, friends, religion…
• our version (conscious interpretation/ ‘understanding’) of all the people who were important to us, good or bad
• what we picked up from them subliminally.  Kids are very intuitive

Depending on the content of a voice, we’re hearing from:
❧ a good parent or a bad inner parent
❧ a healthy child or a wounded inner child
❧ a sane adult or a fake inner adult

The 1st in each duality are soothing, informative, helpful, humorous, even spiritual

The 2nd causes us great pain, a feeling of hopelessness or futility….. & some of those voices are louder, carry more weight, are meaner….than others

❤️ We need to be talking WITH the kid every day, as often as possible, about everything – no matter how trivial.
It can be about what you feel like eating or wearing, what someone is doing, the colors around you – anything from : ‘It’s time for bed, now…” , “No, we can’t go there today – not enough time” – to – “I can tell something’s bothering you. How are you feeling?”…

• It never has to be a big deal. You can do it on a bus, in the bathroom, walking down the street… Yes, the written version takes a chunk of time, but not the everyday chit-chat

• DON’T WAIT until you’re in a crisis, to start. If you haven’t already established a good link with the kid, & then something upsets you – you will not have the UNIT available to handle it.

?? How often do you talk to anyone you live with or see every day? Only when there’s some difficulty?
The more you interact with your kid —-> the stronger the bond —> the more you prove your reliability —> the more the UNIT can take care of things & make your life WORK!!

⬇️ UNIT conversations with the Inner Child ⬇️

♥  Week before an operation:
IC: ‘I want a new red blanket to take with me to the hospital’
LP: ‘OK, honey, let’s go shopping.’
In the store:
IC: ‘I want that one! ‘ (the most expensive)
HA: ‘We only have $– to spend on this.  We need some money for groceries too’
LP: ‘I’ll get you one of these – the smaller one. We already have 2 red blankets at home – & yes I know they’re old!”

Sensing the WIC’s anxiety:
LP: “I know you’re worried & scared about the procedure. I’ll be with you the whole time & Jerry’s picking us up afterwards.”
HA: “You know I trust this doctor.  We’ll be ok.”
IC: (Pouts but understands)

♥ Waiting to get on a plane
IC: (A little antsy but not talking)
LP: (Noticing, waiting – knows kid is not afraid of flying, so it can’t be that)
IC: (Not saying anything but seems concerned)
LP: (Finally gets an ‘image’ of the issue) — “OK, OK, I’ll take you!”
(Kid doesn’t have to ‘go’ but is worried about needing the bathroom on the plane before seat belt light is off!
They go to the restroom & the kid is happy.😘

♥ After a social gathering with casual friends
IC: (In a lot of pain) “They don’t like me, I talked too much, no one came over to me afterwards, I can’t go back there, I know they’re saying bad things about me …
HA: OK, I hear you.  But what we know about these particular people is that they have shown ways that they like you. You’ve talked a lot before & they’re still nice to us”
IC: “Yeah, but…”

HA: “Yes, we aren’t their age or have the same core beliefs & not in their inner circle, but that’s not a negative reflection on you – or them. It’s just a reality. Different is different, not bad.”
LP: “Honey, the bottom line is that you are who you are & not everyone fits with us. That doesn’t make you undesirable.  We have to find places that suit all parts of us – the mental Adult, the feeling kid (You, little one) & the spiritual Parent.
IC: Reluctantly “OK”. It took a few days, but the pain went away.
*The next time at that same gathering  – everyone was as friendly as usual.   (“See, honey?” >”I know”)

NEXT: Healthy Adult/ Loving Parent – #3