PREVIOUS: the UNIT #3
1. Being ‘kid whipped’!
2. The Introject (cont)
3. BUILDING the UNIT (cont)
The stronger you UNIT the more you’ll experience improvement & get lots of satisfaction! Helpful prerequisites :
• Less Self-Hate & less attachment to the Bad Voice (PP)
• Willing to take time & effort to learn this new language
• Done enough inventories to know your WIC’s issues
• Know quite a bit about all your good qualities
• Less anxiety – to be able to sit quietly & communicate
• Maybe have done ‘morning pages’, prayer, meditation….
• Lot & lots of patience – the kid may not respond right away
3 DIALOGUES with the Inner Child & 1 with the PP
♥ After one date with a sexy, attractive but self-hating guy
HA: “So, that was interesting. Do you want to see him again?
IC: Only shrug, but no words
UNIT: Asks the kid again for the next few days
IC: No words – but a slight pulling back
LP: “OK, honey, I get it – you’re conflicted but the answer is basically no.”
HA: “I agree – we can see his WIC clearly, BUT it is completely surrounded by barbed wire, so if I let you reach in to connect, your arm will get all cut up!”
LP: “We feel bad for his kid, but I can’t let you get hurt.”
IC: “OK. Thanks”
♥ After the death of a beloved pet
IC: Sobbing, sobbing, sobbing
LP: “I know, sweetie, let it all out”
IC:” I want a new one – let’s go to the ASPCA”
UNIT: “OK, lets see if they have another orange one. I trust you to pick the right one”
IC: At the shelter – “I don’t see any here. We have to look at the computer pictures.” Eventually she finds the right one – online!
♥ Having a bad experience with someone
LP: knowing that the kid is very angry but afraid to let it out – asks the kid to show her an image of how she’s feeling
IC: creates a picture of being chained down on a wooden bed in a dark room, powerless & trapped
UNIT: “I’m here to help. It’s ok to be mad” Visualizes using huge pliers to cut away all the chains. Then picks the kid up & leaves the dungeon. IC: Still upset but relieved
ADULT standing up to the PP
✅ UNIT to self : I think I’ll go to that business intro I’ve been invited to – it’s the politically smart to do
PP: Don’t be ridiculous – you won’t know anyone! They won’t be interested in you – you’d just be wasting your time!
HA: Wow, you sure know how to lay it on thick! Those are YOUR worries & assumptions. Don’t lay them on me!
PP: How dare you talk back to me! I know what I’m talking about! I’m just trying to save you time & effort
HA: Well, It’s obvious you don’t know how valuable networking is – you never had to promote yourself. So you’re not being helpful!
What I could use from you is telling me you believe in me, no matter what I try. I’d love to hear that you only want the best for me, that you know I’m competent & I’ll figure it out.
PP : You’re living in a fantasy. Life is hard & you have to be prepared for the worst. That’s what I’m trying to do for you but you don’t appreciate it!
HP: Well, thanks for your input, but I’ve heard it all before & it hasn’t worked. So I’m going to try something new. You don’t have to watch!
UNIT: Shakes it’s head, smiles & ‘walks’ away. 😀
NEXT: “People should treat me better- but I won’t let them”