transformation

Enneagram – Type STRENGTHS (Part 3)

dmtorbi 12-step, ACoAs, al-anon, Alcoholics Anonymous, alcoholism, mental health, Psychotherapy, recovery, self growth, self-help , , , , , , , ,

enn water over rocks AS WATER FLOWS OVER ROCKS
so do my Gifts from out of me

PREVIOUS: STRENGTHS (#2)

SITE: Popular Enneagram books

REMINDER:  In this context – EGO = FALSE SELF,  NOT the same as a HEALTHY EGO, and read “EGO”)

OVERVIEW – Fall from Higher Essence Qualities to Ego Distortions
Oscar Ichazo made a connection between the 10 spheres of Kabbala’s Tree of Life, & the Enneagram symbol. The Tree’s first sphere, Keter, is reserved for the Messiah, leaving 9 others for humans, suggesting 9 kinds of souls as emanations or facets of the Divine Unity.  (MORE...)
● While everyone has the capacity to embody all of the Holy Ideas and Virtues, one pair of them is central to the soul’s identity, so their loss is felt acutely, & the person’s ego (coholy ideasnscious False Self) become totally preoccupied with recreating it, although in futile, self-defeating ways

● Based part on this, Ichazo created a hierarchy of expressions:
9 HOLY IDEAS (Part 1) the objective, experiential understanding of higher Truth. Their loss or absence generates specific delusions /fixations, the underlying Toxic Rules of our ego-driven lives. Each delusion forms the center of a psychological complex, which the core of that particular fixation.

VIRTUES
Based on the Holy Ideas, the Virtues are the natural expression of the awakened heart – the unified, expansive qualities humans experience when we are abiding in Essence, our True Self. AND they can not be ‘practiced’ or claimed as personal achievements. While our ego-self is most preoccupied with recreating it, doing so would only be a narcissistic self-aggrandizement for the ego – the very opposite of a Virtuous state.
They are each type’s antidote to its Passion – pointing to our STRENGTHS – so as we “Let-go-&-let-God”, accepting what is already waiting in us to emerge, our specific Virtue begins to express itself in our daily life. They are not simply ‘their own reward’ but expressions of Grace & a method of transformation*.

*Transformation can be understood as a conversion of energy: shifting from the narrowness & futility of our Vice to our Virtue. It is not easy to do, since out Type is hardwired & a life-time of doing things a certain way are hard to soften & dissolve. Shifting this energy takes time, along with great desire & determination, persistent effort & a willingness to look deep inside ourselves. Repetition of new habits & patterns create new neural pathways that, over time, allow us to catch our automatic responses before they get going. This makes it possible to choose a new way of responding to PPT (people-places-things).

EGO-FIXATIONSenn PROGGRESS
As a person loses Awareness & Presence of the Holy Idea, we fall away from Essence into the trance of the outer personality – an ego delusion about self or reality. But once the True Nature is restored  we can see through the particular delusions of our type. Again, our underlying Truth is antidote to the ego-fixation when we want to restore the balance & freedom of our personal Holy Idea

PASSIONS

They represent the underlying characteristic emotional response (Basic Fear column) to reality which was created by the loss of contact with our Essential nature – the Virtue. The underlying hurt, shame & grief this loss entails are enormous, so our ego (defended Self) is compelled to come up with its particular way of emotionally coping with the loss, altho misguided & ineffective.
— It can also be thought of as our untamed animal nature before it’s transformed by contact from higher influences—an awareness and Grace. Together with the ego-fixation, these represent the ways that spiritual qualities become contracted into ego states

INSTINCTS
Our Instinctual Self is a primal aspect of personality, & our dominant one insures our fundamental survival in the physical world, but in so doing can block the way to growth. The Enneagram’s 3 instincts are an anchoring counter balance to the higher spiritual Essential Self, rooting us in the dualistic (good-bad) defended self, which ‘forces’ us to distort & habitually overuse our survival strategies.
● They are considered the way we forget our connection to the Divine. Losing our Essence-center distorts our Thinking, Feeling & Doing (TEA). Spiritual / emotional growth comes from being able to balance, release & transform our instinctual nature into its higher opposite.

NOTE that the strengths and weaknesses of each type are two sides of the one coin. There is NO point in wanting to change to another type, since that would just mean swapping one set of problems for another.

NEXT: Type VIRTUES (Part 4a)

Double BINDS – Changing (Part 12)

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I KNOW THERE IS HOPEsmile
if I’m willing to stand firm

PREVIOUS: Double Binds (Part 6b)

SITE: “The Double Bind: The Intimate Tie” (Re. Schizophrenia & Borderline PD)

CHANGING the GAME
1. Mental, Practical – “We learn the rope of life by untying its knots.” Jean Toomer, American poet / novelist (see Parts 8-11)

2. Emotional / Spiritual
LIFE is movement, & all movement has momentum. This means that our reactions & choices create changes in direction – we’re always ‘going toward somewhere’ (Desire), and ‘going away from somewhere’ (Aversion). It’s our normal state.
Anyone not aware of this basic Human Design principle is very vulnerable to manipulation – negative DBs causing stagnation, the opposite of Life.

⚑ Unfortunately, many spiritual teachings associate desire with shame, & aversion with virtue. ‘Followers’ – who consider themselves sooo higher-minded – take great pride in all the things they abhor, while convinced that needing / wanting is a personal flaw or sin. Of course, this is also the way to obey several Toxic Family Rules – which makes is easy for Double Binders to use this distortion to capture their audience – including you. (review “DBs”, Part 1)

⚐ TRANSFORMATION (healing) cannot be forced, but is rather a process, & when or how long it takes is unique to each of us. However, as we know, there are tools available that encourage the shifts we’d like to experience, if we’re persistent.
🤔 For long-term changes we need a clear mind – free of enough repressed & denied emotions – so we can more easily access logical thinking & creativity. That will allow us to actually have choices, & find possible alternatives to the DMs we’ve absorbed

This requires the Receiver R (us) of DMs to have enough S & I, self-esteem & good boundaries – to no longer be overwhelmed by the terror of losing the connection with the S. Some fear is to be expected – so the process requires courage – the ability to take action in the face of anxiety.

☆ One key to resolving D.Binds is to 1st realize they are a lie just like perfectionism or self-hate, & induce the illusioillusion/lien that we’re trapped.
As adults we always have some options other than those forced on us as kids. We can find alternatives, with help, if we’re willing to explore the beliefs & values that hold the illusion in place, based on what we assume is real.

• Many organizations across the world are now providing services that offer support, with practical tools to shape our future. ARTICLE “Let It Go: How to Not let things Bother You”

• Mental, Emotional & Spiritual maturity** allow us to embrace paradox (DBs Part 9), instead of running away, by “passing through the dilemma of irreconcilable double-binds” (no-win). We can only do this if we’re willing to struggle through the various stages of personal growth.

Elizabeth Michaels’ book FACTICITY: A Door to Mental Health & Beyond – offers a sophisticated way of resolving paradox & resistance.
“Facticity is designed to shift the experience of living from either/or conflict to both/and – acceptance & balance. This NLP model includes a collection of techniques providing a framework for experiencing opposite dualities as complementary rather than in opposition.”

**Maturity is how well we :
♛ realistically understand situations in their present-day context
♛ are in touch with our emotions as well as in being in charge of how or when we express them
♛ usually respond from the Adult ego state, with ourself & in dealing with others. (Review posts)
♡ Maturity eliminates Perfectionism!

• A sign of this maturity is living in the middle state which can be called ‘Abiding’ – calmly BE-ing, or NOT-reacting.
Reacting is the endless see-saw between aversion & desire, which causes suffering. (‘DMs, Part 2’)
Firm Abiding is the place of balance between those extremes, but not a denial of needs. It’s similar to “grey-rocking“. It’s a place of peacefulness & assurance – aways a place of our choice.

★ If you have to – or want to – continually deal with a D.Binding control-artist, then being able to stay in Abiding-mode is indeed a personal victory! This is not easy & hard to keep up, but is a fundamental way to outwit DBs.

NEXT: DBs, Part 7b