SCHOOL, SCHMOOL!
What was it all for??

PREVIOUS: Time-Line Inventory

REVIEW post : “Family Inventory – Overview”

TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE in SCHOOL?
Whether because of moving, bullying, learning disabilities….  it can be cathartic to do this writing, maybe surprised at how much pain is still hiding under your mental carpet. It’s one way to start cleaning out more of the sludge clogging our mental & emotional arteries – that keeps us stuck.

EXP : Moving often meant new schools, which meant being the ‘new’ kid each time. In most cases this was a cause for peer-abuse. The more schools – the more pain! 

EXPERIENCE
a. Some ACoAs only went to 2-3 schools throughout our educational life
b. Others of us moved a great deal & so changed schools often. Part of school trauma may have come from being bullied, or from a language barrier if the moves were to different countries

c. Some have had little formal education, but have learned a great deal on our own, by life experience, reading, unofficial classes….
d. Others went thru school sleep-walking, barely managing, but never really learning much – distracted, depressed, in a fantasy-fog…..
e. Some had a great deal of trouble learning thru’ the standard school curriculum, because of ADHA, Autism…. of other disabilities

SITUATIONS
✒︎ Some of us did very well in school & gained a measure of self-esteem & positive feedback away from home,
BUT were abused / ostracized by other students for being smarter, favored by a teacher, getting awards, the child of someone ‘Special’, of a different religion….

✒︎ for some it was a relief to away from the chaos & neglect of the home, but for
others it was more of the same – being teased, ignored, deliberately abused….

✒︎ for some, we didn’t do so well, not because we were stupid (mentally limited) but because:
✐ it was too hard to concentrate, worrying about the bad things that did happen or could happen at home while we were away
✐ of having to hide physical &/or sexual abuse from everyone
✐ of ADD, illness or other personal difficulties
✐ bullied, made fun of… for being different in some way
✐ we didn’t fit in to the social setting of the school
✐ missed school because of illness – ours or family member
✐ moved often & got out of synch with level of class work….

QUESTIONS — Use this as a FACTUAL inventory, at first, so you don’t get too overwhelmed. You can add emotions later, or on a separate sheet

SCHOOLS — LIST :
• every school you went to (Kindergarten thru college)
• dates, location, names — if possible, or approximately
• how were they paid for? tuition & other costs?

To be more specific: use a separate page for each of your school years & at the top include the year, your age, the grade & school location.  It’s ok if you don’t know or remember – you may eventually, someone else may give you some info or you’ll leave it blank.  Fill in as much of the following as you can for each year.
FAMILY:
• what was each parent’s attitude toward school & education?
• what messages did they give you about it?
• how did your home life affect your homework?
• did your parents help with or hinder your schoolwork?
• did you get the clothes, books & other equipment you needed? If not, what happened?
• were they proud of your progress & achievements? Indifferent? Disappointed? How did that feel, emotionally ?

YOU:
For the grammar school years, do the best you can & ask others for info :
• which subjects did you take?
• did you like or dislike these classes? Why? The subjects you remember most easily tell you how you felt about them
• were there special assignments you did better in? worse? What were the teachers’ reactions?

• were you in any clubs, special groups, cliques?
• were you a loner, disliked, ignored, teased, tortured OR liked, popular, a leader… ?
• were you alert, falling asleep, sick, out a lot? visible or invisible in class?
• did you play sports (group or individual)?  In a musical or debate group? Was it a positive or negative experience?

NEXT: School Inventory (Part 2)