Psychological DISORDERS – Psychopathy (Part 5a)

are mentally & emotionally dangerous

PREVIOUS: Personality Disorders (Part 4b)

POSTs on Emotional Immaturity 

SITEs: “8 Diversion tactics used by NPDs, PSs & Ss to manipulate you into silence”
• “One in 25 of you is a sociopath”

Sociopathy  – a pervasive & persistent disregard for morals, social norms, and the rights and feelings of others

Psychopathy – characterized by amoral & antisocial behavior, extreme egocentricity, the inability to love, failing to learn from experience….. 

These are both antisocial PDs, at the far end of the spectrum. he FBI identifies them both as sensation-seeking, with predatory behavior, a lack of remorse & the need for control or power over others. There is some debate as to whether they’re fundamentally different or just different in degree of mental illness. While there are overlaps, & psychiatrists often considering them as the same, criminologists treat them differently because of  their outward behavior.

Some Ss & PSs will seem cold, indifferent & mysterious, but not all – because they’re can be very skilled at social camouflage. Around the average, unaware ‘normal’ they can hide in plain sight, like being the perfect neighbor or partner. But it’s all a con job, using fake charm to achieve whatever their goal happens to be in each situation.

• begin to show up around age 15, & may start with cruelty to animals
• can be charming, despite being unable to empathize with others
• don’t feel guilt or remorse
• convincingly seem to show fear or disgust, but lack both
• can have intense emotional outbursts, or be violent
• are completely self-serving & don’t care about putting themselves or others at risk
• disregard laws, social mores, conventions & the rights of others
• some can be treated with medication, & sociopaths perhaps with therapy
(Artwork by Chato Stewart)

Lisa E. Scott’s article “Narcissist or Sociopath? What’s the Difference?”  suggests that Narcissists are a subset of Sociopaths. The following distinction can be useful, altho too simplistic:
“Narcissists see others as a means to validate their existence. The less validating you are, the less useful you are to them.
Sociopaths see others as entertainment. The less entertaining you are, the less useful you are to them.”

NOTE: If someone complains about being abused by a PS or S, they’re not likely to be believed because those types seem to be so friendly – even helpful! HOWEVER – Superficial pleasantness is one of the top criteria for both disorders. Often these anti-social predators will appear nicer, more honest & more interesting than the person they’re abusing!

Shannon Thomas (Salt Lake City therapist) says: “Narcissist, Sociopaths & Psychopaths are notorious for picking targets that initially boost their ego. It could be someone’s appearance, age, intellect, career success, family & friends….
Once the target is hooked, the toxic person sets out to tear down the exact qualities that attracted them to their victim in the first place. It’s entertainment for the abuser to destroy an originally healthy & happy person.”

NOTE: However – co-dep ACoAs make the best targets. Without a strong sense of identity (“I don’t know who I am”), we will look to anyone who initially makes a fuss over us, guides & helps us (controlling) & makes us feel needed. But without Recovery we’re just sitting ducks, manipulated & then thrown away. So we feel abandonment devastation & think: “See I knew I was defective!” ✳️ See how she’s sitting forward & he’s not?!


ORIGIN: Sociopathy can either be congenital (inborn emotional deficiency), or from brain injury or lesions. But most often it’s developed – from a combination of family tree inheritance, the child’s personality makeup, & either very low or very high intelligence. These under-pin negative social factors: a severely destructive early family life, poverty, lack of education, direct exposure to violence to self & others, delinquent peers…..

Continual abuse & neglect harm neurological growth in children, affecting the autonomic nervous system, which results in long-term physical & psychological damage. (MORE..“….abuses scar the brain….)
— S. can be caused by years of  childhood trauma, as well as parental addictions, dissociation, narcissism, …. OR
— S. can be caused by damage in the form of parental over-protection, over-indulgence, lack of boundaries, emotional unavailability….. (More in #5b)

NEXT: Disorders #5b

Enneagram – 9 LEVELS for TYPE 4



or I’ll be boring (& bored)!

PREVIOUS: Type 3 levels

SITE: Type 4 overview


LEVELS by TYPE (cont.)
Healthy Levels – Are Self-Renewing & Inspirational. Able to model creativity and intuitive power for others
Unhealthy Levels – Are Clinical depressed & Suicidal. Held back by moodiness and self-consciousness.

HEALTHY 4s: It’s important to go beyond the limits of convention.
The Revolutionary: They’re artistic, aesthetically oriented, creative, edgy, expressive, individualistic, inspired, intuitive, self-aware & sensitive.
Equanimity overcomes envy, giving calmness & composure.  They return to the knowledge of “Origin”, that everything in the universe came from the same origin point, so beings are fundamentally connected to each other. Embracing & enhancing life, they encourage others to be everything they can be. They break new ground & bring depth to their work life, push the envelope & find ways to put a unique stamp on whatever they do.

AVERAGE 4s: Being told “You’re odd / weird” is welcome proof I’m staying true to myself.
The Unconventionalist: different, experimental, idiosyncratic, open, unique
• Life’s difficulties corrupts the ideal of Unity into the delusion that everyone is fundamentally fragmented & separated. 4s notice what’s wrong in their life, & so envy what others have. They rely on that envy to give themselves the illusion of unity, as a way to connect to others in a counter-productive fashion, becoming self-indulgent & alienated.

UNHEALTHY 4s: I’ve lost touch with reality (but may not know it)
The Stranger: Become progressively more moody, hypersensitive &
withdrawn. Can be bizarre /schizotypal/ schizophrenic, cut off from everyday current reality, delusional, irrational, masochistic

Healthy loop: Run by the Basic Desire of ‘Needing self-understanding’, they allow emotions to surface & examine them in order to understand them-selves. Then the need is satisfied & balance is achieved.

Average state: when 4s’ don’t closely examine their emotions, they can’t understand themselves, increases the need to figure out who they are. This can push 4s into willingness to face their feelings,
establishing a balance.

Unhealthy loop is run by the Basic Fear of ‘being defective, which can cause 4s to ignore their true selves, allow their emotions to overwhelm them, & indulge in wild fantasy about themselves. This leads to understanding themselves even less, further increases the basic fear & prevents balance.

LENS you see the world thru: “How can I express my creativity and uniqueness in this situation?”
GROWTH: Breaking control of the basic fear comes from not indulging in fantasy and start examining oneself realistically.
LEVEL 5 in BIZ (Mid-Average)'average' levels
At this level Type 4’s authority comes from what they know. Their main strength & weakness as leaders come from the same place – an unwillingness to compromise their vision
• are usually a romantic, passionate star
• hold a strong personal vision & inspire with the force of personality
• are fervently pursue an elusive goal, so achieving them is a problem
• want to stay emotionally engaged & are attracted to ‘drama’
• achieve goals in order to be distinctive – different & unusual
• excel with a business approach where unique presentations count

Honor the 4’s unique way of seeing & doing things. If you want them to work hard, let them know how a project needs their personal touch. The more enthusiastic they are the harder they’ll try. Be emphatic rather than helpful – instead of giving a 4 the answers, give them the opportunity to express themselves.
• want distinctive work, preferring jobs which call for creativity, even genius
• need to feel respected for their personal vision & ideas
• their efficiency is tied to their mood. When their emotional life is disrupted their attention to work suffers
• like to be connected to ‘special authority’ – people in their field who stand for quality instead of popularity
• feel demeaned by having to perform what they consider ‘common’, but which is defined by each #4 differently
• want to feel that their creative ides have been received, understood & appreciated
(From: Global Leadership Foundation)

NEXT: Type 5 Level

Double BINDS – Verbalizing (Part 8a)

say what you mean 

& mean what you say!

PREVIOUS: Double Binds (Part 7)

SITEs: Escaping from the BD
“Double Bind Insults”

SPEAK UP about the Double Bind (DB)
, because “You’re only as sick as your secrets.” (Al-Anon). DBs can only control us as long as we deliberately ignore our contradictory beliefs and their contradictory messages (loyalty to toxic family, not trusting our perceptions….), or keep them out of unconsciousness altogether.

LANGUAGE components help us become aware of embedded “thought viruses” in various sort out DBscommunication distortions, (Chart in #6a). To stand up to internal or external D. Messages which put is in a D. Bind, we need to know something about the way people express themselves.

1. Congruent communication – (matching)
All parts of the communication are consistent, agree with each other, fit together, make sense.
But if what you’re ‘receiving’ is not self-congruent, make sure you do not participate in the S‘s game of control, so you can point it out as best you can

2. Meaning
Listen for obvious or subtle contradictions in what someone says – or you say to yourself – often in the form of CDs.
Where’s the focus? Is the speaker – or you – talking about Thoughts, Emotions, or Actions?
Do the statements make sense? Are there obvious & hidden meanings?
EXP : What’s being implied when someone says “Even Jimmy got an A on that test!”?

3. Levels
The function of each level is to synthesize, organize & direct the interactions on the level below it (ANIMAL vs cat). Processes on a behavior level are different than those on a mental level.
EXP: Tying someone up would stop them from physically taking revenge, but not from continuing to plan it. In fact, it will often encourage it. (MORE….)

Learn to discriminate between messages directed to different levels of experience, which automatically helps distinguish different levels of distortion (DMs, #1)
LEVELS, from highest to lowest : 
(1) identity, (2) beliefs & values, (3) capabilities, (4) behavior (5) environment. (6) -spiritual- a type of ‘relational field’ forming a sense of being part of a larger system beyond one’s individual identity.
EXP: “It’s a sin to lie” and “Don’t tell dad what I bought today”

Meta – a special form of communication, info sometimes unspoken but always implied, which the R picks up on but can’t prove.
They are non-verbal signals – tone of voice, body language, vocal sounds (sigh, grunt…) or facial expressions – which contradict the spoken words (incongruent)

4. Meta-messages
Notice the small visible changes in unspoken cues when someone’s talking (a frown, inappropriate smile or voice tone, clenched fists, stiff posture …)
IF they’re at odds with the words being spoken. EXP: ACoAs are notorious for telling horrific childhood events while smiling, even laughing!

Paying attention can help identify mixed messages by tracking & sorting various types of verbal conflicts. It will free us to respond differently to Metas that confuse, reducing the power of the DB, & possibly allowing us to give the other person feedback, if desired & appropriate.

ACoAs stay trapped in DBs when we hide our fear – from shame, S-H & feeling crazy, assuming others will laugh at or belittle us, cut us off…..

Instead, questioning our beliefs & talking about them weakens the hold DBs have over us.
We can’t afford to let fear & shame stop us! Rather than being lonely & passive victims, speaking THE ‘truth’ (not just our personal beliefs) lets us actively help ourselves, by not isolating with our emotional pain & mental confusion.

• Given the nature of D. Binds, it’s absolutely appropriate & necessary to need other people’ perspective to help us sort out the mess – a few we know to be safe & not caught up in the dilemma we’re fighting to escape. At the very least they can provide company & encouragement! “A burden shared is a burden halved.”

NEXT: DBs – Verbalizing (Part 8b)