I WISH I DIDN’T HAVE TO
deal with these defects

PREVIOUS: Enneagram Defects, Part 3a

SITE: Everything Enneagram book

 

TYPE 4 – The INDIVIDUALIST (also 3w4 & 5w4, somewhat)
FEAR: of being insignificant, unseen, without identity – so they become moody, hyper-sensitive & pretentious
INTERNAL Story: “I must always be unique”

WEAKNESS : Being ‘ordinary’ is experienced as boring, but also makes them ‘feel’ like a nobody, so they’re jealous of other people-places-things. Insist on having all of their emotional needs met at once
DEFENSIVE PATTERN: ‘Introjection’ – to avoid ordinariness & keeping  the self-image of being authentic. Internally they magnify a positive ideal, & obsess on self-blame for any painful outcome ​

HIDE from others: “I’m not as sensitive as I appear to be.”
Envy/ jealousy that others seem to have more & are treated better than themself – so 4s develop an aura of emotional hyper-sensitivity. They want special treatment, thinking it’ll compensate for all the unfair treatment they’re experienced

PROJECTION: Afraid of  being ‘Common’ they projected it onto others, who are seen as detached, insensitive, overly cheery, plain, predictable, rude, shallow AND not terribly interesting or refined.
4s think they are unique & interesting, but always misunderstood. So they think it’s up to them to restore class, refinement & sensibility to the culture

MANIPULATE by: being erratic, temperamental, hard to get’, making others “walk on eggshells”
Create CONFLICT by: being dramatic, emotionally demanding, moody, pretentious, self-absorbed, self-indulgent, temperamental, withholding

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TYPE 5 – The INVESTIGATOR (also 4w5 & 6w5, somewhat)
FEAR: of being helpless, useless & incapable, of being emotionally overwhelmed, so avoid as much contact with the world as possible
INTERNAL Story: “I must always be detached”

WEAKNESS: Their urge to know everything on a topic or a situation helps avoid a sense of emptiness. Insist on personal space & non-interference
DEFENSIVE PATTERN: ‘Isolation’ – withdrawing to avoid feeling small & helpless, & keeping self-image of being all-knowing. Form & maintain space so they have a sense of structure & to work on understanding a  ‘problem’ they’re working on

HIDE from others:“I’m not as smart as I appear to be.”
Holding back & isolating prevents 5s from having to share their emotional life with others – mainly relating to others by their intellect. A source of strength is in accumulated knowledge, using it to keep others at a distance

PROJECTION: Project their lack of all knowledge onto others, so feel like they’re surrounded by a “confederacy of dunces” (Sherlock Holmes). Others are considered emotional, foolish, overly effusive & chatty, myopic, oblivious, shallow-minded, stupid.
5s can either avoid others entirely, OR research & discover TRUTHS, & then enlighten everyone else

MANIPULATE by: staying preoccupied with thoughts & projects, distancing emotionally from others  (Forum….. )
Create CONFLICT by: being detached, extreme, high-strung, impractical, isolated, preoccupied, provocative, unconventional, uncompromising

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TYPE 6 – The LOYALIST (also 5w6 & 7w6, somewhat)
FEAR: of never having support, & not being able to survive on their own, so become defiant, defensive & suspicious
INTERNAL Story: “I must always be secure”

WEAKNESS : Anxiety, doubt & worry lead to a lack of trust in themself, so are indecisive & procrastinating. They fluctuate between a need for be close & a need to be alone, between self-distrust & over-reacting
DEFENSIVE PATTERN: ‘Projecting’ their feelings onto loved ones & authority figures​ – to avoid feelings of rejection & to keep a self-image of being loyal

HIDE from others: “I’m not as committed as I appear to be.”
Fear of being punished & disapproved of – by an internal or external authority figure – drives 6s to be overly-responsible & loyal. This makes them seem committed to whatever cause they’re engaged in, which is mainly to shore up their own need for security

PROJECTION: project their rebelliousness & need for power onto others, who are seen as flighty, isolated, overly trusting, negligent, reckless, threatening, & trying to get away with something

📌 For fearful 6s the world is experienced as disappointing & unsafe, so it is totally up to themself to create certainty, order, safety & security everywhere
📍 Counter-phobic 6s (not conscious of their great fear) project ambivalence onto others, especially authority, seeing them as inconsistent & untrustworthy – so they must scold or train others to be consistent & fair

MANIPULATE by: being evasive, complaining, constantly testing others’ loyalty & commitment to them
Create CONFLICT by: blaming, being defensive, doubtful, evasive, negative, pessimistic, reactive, suspicious, worried.

NEXT: Defects – (#7s, 8s, 9s)