I WANT TO BUILD MY LIFE AROUND YOU –
I hope you feel the same way!
Part 1: R.A.Qs, 1-30
POST: FRIENDS Inventory
➼ Print out Part 1 & 2. Put a check mark in the column which best fits your responses about a specific person: _____________ (🧡)
• Use #1 as the weakest to #5 as the strongest feeling you have about each statement. Do NOT consider #5 as ‘perfect’, only as intensity
• If you don’t know or are confused, mark #3. You can always go back later & fill the ‘blanks’ or reevaluate your answers
• Take your time considering the Qs – think about your own experience with each person AND what you know about them
• If possible, have your partner take the same test
• Total up each column & then add them all together.
Add up each column (1-5) – for both Parts 1 & 2. Combine all columns , to get one number for your Romantic Attraction (R.A.)
• 180 -200 = Little or no romantic interest, so it’s not likely to work out, no matter how much one of you may wants it
• 200 – 220 = Weak R.A., indicating borderline interest
• 220 – 260 = Strong R.A., enough for a relationship to be satisfying if both of you fall in this range
260 – 300 = Very high R.A., indicating a strong compatibility, if both have similar scores
• If one of you scores below 200 & the other is over 220 – especially after several tries – expect the relationship to just run its course. Enjoy what you can & then move on
• If both of you score below 200, you’re not suited for romance,
BUT it makes it easier to have a satisfying & long-lasting friendship, if you want to & there are enough compatible interests
REVIEW – ACoAs (& unrecovered addicts in general) usually have relationships:
• based on interlocking damage with another person
• driven by our WIC & PP, rather than the True Self
• just to keep from feeling alone & abandoned, no matter how unsatisfying or harmful
• trying to get the good parenting we never got in childhood – from someone else, instead of from Ourself & H.P.
• that act out our deepest fears & greatest wounds
• to stand up for ourselves – say what we want or don’t want
• that we won’t ever be able to choose better friends & lovers
• our family will disapprove of / not accept our choices
• to risk ‘everything’ on our Inner Truth
➼ A secondary GOAL of this kind of QUIZ is to get us thinking about the positive qualities we can own in ourself, as well as those we need to be looking for in partners & friends. Then we can grow into being comfortable & happy in any relationship
• Romantic excitement can not be manufactured or forced if it doesn’t already exist, but all good relationships require a level of emotional maturity, which can be improved on with continuing effort & the right tools.