I WANT TO BUILD MY LIFE AROUND YOU –
I hope you feel the same way!

Part 1: R.A.Qs, 1-30

INVENTORY (cont)
➼  Print out Part 1 & 2.  Put a check mark in the column which best fits your responses about a specific person: _____________ (♥)

• Use #1 as the weakest to #5 as the strongest feeling you have about each statement. Do NOT consider #5 as ‘perfect’, only as intensity
• If you don’t know or are confused, mark #3.  You can always go back later & fill the ‘blanks’ or reevaluate your answers

• Take your time considering the Qs – think about your own experience with each person AND what you know about them
• If possible, have your partner take the same test
• Total up each column & then add them all together.

👁 See below – to interpret your scores

EVALUATION
Add up each column and then add up those totals, to get one number for your Romantic Attraction (R.A.)
• 180 -200 = Little or no romantic interest, so is not likely to work out, no matter how much one of you may want it
• 200 – 220 = Weak R.A., indicating borderline interest
• 220 – 260 = Strong R.A., enough for a relationship to be satisfying if both of you fall in this range
260 – 300 = Very high R.A., indicating a strong compatibility, if both have similar scores

• If one of you scores below 200 & the other is over 220 – especially after several tries – expect the relationship to just run its course.  Enjoy what you can & then move on
• If both of you score below 200, you’re not suited for romance,
BUT it makes it easier to have a satisfying & long-lasting friendship, if you want to

REVIEW – ACoAs (& unrecovered addicts in general) usually have relationships:
• driven by our WIC & PP, rather than the True Self
• based on interlocking damage with another person
• trying to get the good parenting we never got in childhood
• that act out our deepest fears & greatest wounds
• just to keep us from feeling alone & abandoned, no matter how unsatisfying or harmful

We’re afraid:
• to stand up for ourselves – say what we want or don’t want
• we won’t ever be able to choose better friends & lovers
• our family will disapprove of / not accept our choices
• to risk ‘everything’ on our Inner Truth

➼ A secondary GOAL of this kind of QUIZ is to get us thinking about the positive qualities we should be looking for in a partner, and being one ourselves. Then we can grow into being comfortable & happy in any relationship
• Romantic excitement can not be manufactured or forced if it doesn’t already exist, but all good relationships require a level of emotional maturity, which can be improved upon with continuing effort & the right tools

NEXT: Infatuation…