Enneagram Types : CHILDREN & Parents (#1)


PREVIOUS : Ready, AIM, Fire – centers

SITEs: 🔔Understand All 9 Enneagram Childhood Wounds + How To Heal
đź””Enneagram Childhood Messages

🔔 Enneagram Types as Children’s Books Series: Type 7 as
“IF YOU GIVE A MOUSE A COOKIE” (+ MORE types)

NOTE: The following Ennea-type descriptions will not apply 100%, because we must add other inventories for each child, such as their MBTI, DISC, OCEAN, astrology & numerology charts…. to get a full picture.

THEN – the child’s combined info must be looked at within the family context – since each one will respond to the positive & negative experiences of their upbringing thru the lens of their specific personality. (MORE …. re. childhood wounds ⬇️)

 

 

Childhood Scenarios for Ennea-types: Law of Three 
THEORY :  Each of the 9 types is the result of
🔺 Nature / hereditary = the child’s preferred inborn orientation
đź”» Nurture / environment) = interactions with their parents’ style

The concept is that there are 3 major innate orientations of Personality & we’re each born with one of them as strongest :

a. Active: assertive, bossy, demanding, egocentric, expressive, intimidating, outspoken, willful
b. Responsive: affectionate, cooperative, engaging, friendly, supportive, sympathetic
c. Neutral: absent, apathetic, avoidant, ignoring, indifferent, reserved, neglectful, withdrawn

Apparently, each child comes into the world with one of these pre-defined attitudes toward their environment. AND each parent will interact with their children from a their preferred style, which can be, but is not necessarily determined by their Enneagram type.


TYPE 1 – The Active parent is demanding, dominating & critical, so the sensitive Responsive child will try to adjust themself
TYPE 2 – the Responsive child acts in a pleasing, appealing ways, but will be treated with indifference by a Neutral parent
TYPE 3 – The Neutral child’s solitude is encouraged by their parent’s own Neutral withdrawal & indifference, which may not make this child feel openly rejected, but can intrigue & challenge

TYPE 4 – The Active child may react in dramatic, exaggerated ways, trying to grab the attention of an unconcerned caretaker
TYPE 5 – the Responsive parent tends to give a lot of un-asked for / unwanted attention to the Neutral child, who experiences this as smothering
TYPE 6 – The Responsive child will tend to become dependent on the Responsive nurturing, affectionate figure, so will reject conflicts & feel threatened by any lack of stability

TYPE 7 – The demands / concerns of the Active child are usually received with Responsive benevolence, support, encouragement
TYPE 8 – Both Active child & parent experience open conflicts on a regular basis.
TYPE 9 – The Neutral child is often overwhelmed & frightened by the controlling, domineering Active parent

Most often parents stick to their ‘natural’ style. However, any Ennea-Type Parent can shift to another orientation to respond to their children, if : 
– they’re personally under stress, or the environment is harsh
– because theirs isn’t working well to accomplish their goals
– the parent is in Recovery & wants to improve interactions

✔️ What determines the environmental component of a child’s future type is not necessarily the main caretaker’s Ennea-type, but rather their particular approach to relating to the child.
(MORE….. explanations re. each type)

PARENT – CHILD CONVERSATIONS
🔸 Before getting started, parents need to identify their own Ennea-Type & style

🔸When you choosing to love & understand your child based on their specific type it will help them feel seen, heard & validated
Keep the conversation light & fun

🔸For ages 3-5, choose various buzz words from the questions (seen in Part 2) about each type, remembering that children change over time as they grow, so don’t get stuck on a specific Ennea-type

🔸Because their personality is yet un-formed, they may seem like more than one type, & you may not know which arrows & wings to include in your evaluation

🔸Teach them not to use their Enneagram # as an excuse for bad behavior – especially as they get older. They still need to take responsibility for their choices & be reminded there are consequences for their actions.

NEXT: CHILDREN & Parents (#2)

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