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Pets & Eating Disorders

SITE : “Types of Pets, Pros and Cons” w/ pics

• TYPES of PETS (lg variety)

REVIEW : People with secure attachment have that deep-down confidence that ‘the other person’ loves them & can be depended on. The anxious-style people experience separation anxiety when their partner is not with them. Avoidant people prefer being independent, having learned that their parent or mate will not be there for them, so avoidance has become a protection against feeling abandonment pain.

But — CAN WE BE TOO attached?
Being emotionally attached to your pet is completely natural. It’s easy to feel affection for our pets because they give us unconditional love & companionship, making us feel secure – & we rely on them for that. We want to be close to them, especially when going through tough times.
Song E. (2016) says : “Sometimes I even feel like my dog can sense when I’m not feeling well, & he comes over to comfort me. It’s amazing how strong a bond we can create with our pets.”

However, our attachment to pets is unreasonable & unhealthy when we expect our pets to take the place of another person, because of our own inability or unwillingness to form functional relationships with other human beings. To evaluate how healthy and reasonable, one’s bond with a pet(s) is,
ASK:
😽 How much do you let the pet interfere with your life ?
– Has your relationship with the pet negatively affected your relationship with a spouse, other close friends or relatives?
– Do you turn down invitations if the pet is not included?
– Do you relate to the pet instead of with family & friends?
– Does the pet occupy your thoughts more than most other matters?
– Do you feel like you can’t live without this animal ?

It can also have a negative effect on us as owners & caregivers if we have trouble differentiate ourself from our pets – becoming symbiotic.  Preventing or correcting this requires owners to have a level of mental health which includes implementing appropriate boundaries for both human & pet. 

For many people, the intensity of our attachment to pets comes from a strong tendency to anthropomorphize beloved animals**,which is when Insecure-style owners unrealistically apply human characteristics to their pets.
**Anthropomorphize = oversimplify or overvalue (give too much credit to) any non-human being, & in this case – assume animals have the same mental motives & physical capacities as people.
EXP : Saying that dogs are “people pleasers”, implying their behavior is psychologically unhealthy. Such assumptions are widespread in adults of all cultures that have been investigated.

We know they rely on us too, not just for food & shelter but also affection, attention & protection. (⬅️ Rescued !) However, if we allow them to become “too attached” to us it can have a negative impacts on their well-being, based on unrealistic expectations about their needs.

Can your dog be hyper-attached?
Does your dog constantly follow you around the house? Get very agitated when you leave, asks for a lot of attention, or even jump on you to express fear? And when you come back, does it over-greet you & have trouble calming down? You may wonder ‘Is my dog too attached to me’?

Some studies suggest that the owner’s avoidance attachment style may play a role in separation-anxiety in their dog. Based on human studies, one may extrapolate that since these owners don’t provide a consistent secure base for the animal which is needed, it learns the owner is not a source of comfort & safety.
These dogs are less able to cope on their own & show different behaviors when left alone. So an over-excited & over-attention-seeking pet may be showing abandonment fear, rather than hyper-attachment.

On the other hand — another study showed that following owners around the house was a very common behavior in all dogs, including ones without separation anxiety. And lots of excitement & activity before the owner was about to leave the home – or when returning – did not indicate worry, just normal dog behavior. This is more easily understood if the owner themself is secure. 

NEXT : Attachment, & Spirituality, #1