Anger – Ways to REACT (Part 5)

heart brak anger
of rage am I at right now?!

PREVIOUS: Ways to react (Part 2)


LEVELS of angerVariations (cont)
6. Emotional INTENSITY
7.  Anger Matrix

9. Anger Thermometer (Kassinove & Tafrate) 
• All uncomfortable emotions are signals we need to pay attention to, because they indicate that something’s bothering us or that something’s really wrong. And – maybe we need take an action, ASAP.
Knowing the levels of Emotion Signals is a way to be in charge of ourselves, but have to be learned. Awareness = Empowerment

THIS chart is a gauge of angA. thermometerer levels, so each category can be expressed clearly & directly, using the word most closely identifying the intensity at the moment.

After considering the options, answer the following Q, with the Percentage Level:
“When I consider what we’ve been talking about / what’s been happening, I feel__________”.

• Stress creates emotional & physical feeling states, & is part of life. When over-stressed, our ability to handle things goes down & the tendency toward anger goes up.
We over-do, yet over-expect what the payoff ‘should’ be. OR – we blame ourselves for not being able to cope ‘perfectly’ in all situations, which is totally unrealistic ,based on one or more CDs (cognitive distortions)

Sadly, our culture rarely gives permission to ‘do less’, nor gives the help needed to handle all that’s expected of us. SO –  It’s up to us to realistically minimize stress & find as much support as possible, in order to thrive.

10.Anger Management Techniques” (Dr. DeFoore’s eBook” – Escalation levels : 1 = LEAST, 10 = MOST intense)

Level 1
. Cool, calm & collected. You may or may not actually be happy, but definitely not angry, anxious or irritated
Level 2. Slightly irritated or agitated, but not enough to bother you or affect your behavior. You can see the big picture about problems,
but it’s hard to relax

Level 3. Irritation & frustration are fairly high, just starting to affect your behavior. It is almost impossible to relax & it’s getting harder to put things in perspective or have empathy for others

Level 4. People are really starting to bother you, so you don’t have much patience. You usually don’t say anything, still stuffing the anger. You don’t feel settled at all, but can still focus enough to make realistic decisions

Level 5. Now you’re ready to yell – at that other driver, or text nasty messages to give someone a piece of your mind.
You don’t act on these impulses yet, but are getting short & irritable with others, while still trying to be friendly. Starting to have tunnel vision.

Level 6. Now it’s just not fun anymore. You’re frustrated & angry at yourself & pretty much everybody else. Others are starting to notice something’s wrong, as you get more short-tempered & jumpy. Your thinking is not 23as clear as it usually is

Level 7. You’re thinking stuff like “This has to stop / I can’t take this any more / I’m going to show them they can’t do this to me /They’ll get what’s coming to them…..” You’re obsessing & very tense. You need help

Level 8.
Now you’re coming up with a (bad) plan. You can’t take it any more, so you’re going to take action, because it feels like you have no choice. Something has to change. You’re not thinking clearly, & even though you know it might backfire, you’re considering retaliation

Level 9. Now you do take action – yelling, threats & intimidation. getting angierYou’re wondering what more you can do to show how angry they’ve made you, & how wrong they are. Your emotions are running you, without any logic. You really need some anger management help, but you probably don’t know it

Level 10
. At this point you’re dangerous to yourself &/or others – in fight mode, with the primitive brain in charge. You can only see one course of action (tunnel vision) & all you want is to make the pain stop.
You feel helpless & vulnerable, which is unbearable, but desperate to hide that. How else but with anger & lashing out? 
Immediate help is recommended!

NEXT: Anger Categories (Part 1)

4 thoughts on “Anger – Ways to REACT (Part 5)

  1. I like the concept that being in control means having a choice. Since my traumatic brain injury, I have frontal disinhibition which makes it difficult not to react when I am provoked. It has improved since the injury first occurred but I still don’t have as much restraint over myself as I did prior to the injury. It’s sort of scary and I don’t like it.


  2. Maybe now that you have the option of being in contact with the Inner kids, you can take a breath – when provoked – & ask what they’re reacting to. Then the Adult can decide what to do or say.


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