HAND: Emotions for each finger (both painful & pleasant forms), with the senses & parts of the body, & how they’re connected to the Spinal Column .
(Green : Anger —-> Compassion, Love) 5-min. stress release exercise
PREVIOUS: Anger TYPES (Part 1)
DEGREES of FEAR & ANGER
We can use the temperature chart below to help stay aware of what we’re feeling, which is often driven by what we’re thinking, since together they directly effect how we act (T.E.A).
• Whenever possible, especially around people we don’t know, are not close to, or who are unhealthy (active addicts & other narcissists), it’s self-protective & appropriate to only show how we feel on the outside of this Emotion Circle, because they are milder.
In most social situations, people will be more comfortable around us if we’re ‘unsure’ rather than ‘hysterical’, ‘aggravated’ not ‘enraged’…. making us more likable, which we all want, whether we admit it to ourselves or not.
( 2 CHARTS )
ALSO, if we do let out how we feel from the center of the circle, it can influence others to become reactive too, as a result of echoing our feelings (via mirror neurons), so that when we:
• get enraged, others may also become angry
• feel depressed, others can get ‘down’,
JUST AS when we:
• get exited, others tend to also feel happy
• feel calm, others can feel more relaxed
REMINDER: This in not to deny our emotions, nor to be co-dependent – worrying about how others feel. Always distinguish between having an emotion & expressing it. It IS a reminder :
➼ to stay awake for what’s going on inside, & work on letting the Adult ego state be more in charge, rather than the WIC
➼ that we do have an effect on others – surprise, surprise! which many of us don’t realize – or believe – since our family never saw or responded to the REAL us.
We were only treated as a burden, a nuisance or as a useful ‘tool’.
So now we need to become visible to ourselves & choose healthy people to correctly mirror us (validate) – people who have good boundaries & a clear sense of their True Self. (MORE…..The Anger Thermostat: What’s Your Upset Temperature?)
Anger as predictable SYMPTOM of Psychological Disorders
Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED)
Periodic eruptions of anger & rage, not in proportion to circumstances, most commonly seen in impulsive young men. They may threaten, assault others, harm themselves, or destroy property. These eruptions come after a period of heightened internal tension, followed by feelings of emotional release & then immediate regret
Depressive Disorders – Diminished self-esteem, heightened self-pity, irritability, low mood, reduced frustration tolerance – which can create anger-control problems. Men are less likely to report depression & anxiety disorders, but shame is an underlying cause. For women it’s more likely fear of abandonment, loss & rejection.
Anxiety Disorders – sufferers of Depression & Anxiety are often in a continual state of tension. Their overworked nervous system alternates between hyper-arousal & exhaustion, priming the brain for an anger or rage reaction.
This group includes Generalized Anxiety, Panic attacks, PTSD, & Phobias. Also, OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder – mainly chemical) sets the stage for resentments, because the person is more likely to hang on to envy/jealousy, fear of abandonment, & fantasies of being disrespected, harmed or victimized.
Personality Disorders are characterized by rigidity & denial.
• Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder people (OCPD – mainly psychological) are demanding, judgmental & perfectionistic. OCD & OCPD sufferers act as if their life depends on reaching a particular goal or having their demands met. Anger rises when those are frustrated
• Narcissists (NPD) are subject to rage reactions when their desperate need for attention or admiration is frustrated
• Histrionics (HPD) are vulnerable to angry outbursts when emotionally flooded
• Borderlines (BPD) are exceptionally vulnerable to anger because of weak & nonexistent self-worth & sense of belonging. This causes a roller-coaster type emotionality, with rage reactions & unstable relationships.
In contrast, for healthy people, anger comes from their Adult ego state, in response to a specific present-day issue, prompting us to act in a positive way to remove an obstacle in our path, or to right an injustice. (More in other posts).
NEXT: ANGER – ways to react (Part 1)