ALL OF MY ENERGY
goes to looking good to others
PREVIOUS: Basic Triads, Part 1
FIRST Triad (234) : HEART, Emotion-based character structure
#2 = Sentimentalist Energy: Aggressive Affection, Helpful
#3 = Enthusiast – – – Energy: Charismatic Producer, Successful
#4 = Romanticist – – Energy: Dramatic pull, Authentic
At a party: When you get to the door, what do you do?
If you walk right in, say hello & start chatting – you might belong in the Heart triad
Flow: Heart-centered people feel first – act & think later. They are very conscious of the community around them & how they’re being received.
Their driving ‘sin’ is pride – constantly engaged in image management, so they’ll be well received by others
POSITIVE 234s have flexibility & skill in relationships, achieving success by empathy – being attuned to & meeting social expectations, & sensitive to the vast potential of the human heart
Purpose: “Every Type depends on emotional intelligence to develop the higher qualities of the Heart Center, including empathy, understanding, compassion and loving-kindness.
The HEART center energy tunes us into the mood & feeling state of ourselves & others, so we can meet the vital needs for contact & approval. We can get recognition from others to help support our self-esteem, & fulfill our need for love & connection.” ~ David Daniels, M.D
Physical center is the spinal column, which allows free & comfortable movement around the outer world, to accomplish all the tasks they set for themselves. They use their energy to ‘feel’ what others want from them, so they can adapt themselves
Priority: Their relationship-needs are for recognition & approval, establishing personal identity through connecting & being seen. 234s tend to rate themselves by how others rate them – to the point of ignoring their own wishes. Their attention is so outwardly focused that it’s hard for them to access their Inner Space
CONFUSING: Actually – they’re only concerned with how they appear to themselves – keeping h image of being “good”- but it has to be through the eyes of others
Direction: 234 Types move towards others, to engage in relationship
Key Mode: Substitution of worth
Key Words: Affection, Approval, Assurance, Bonding, Certainly, Connection, Image, Love, Opportunity, Predictability
Basic defense: Their Emotional intelligence is used to form an “image self” to get recognition & approval, which helps overcome an internal sense of deficiency or emptiness. Trying to meet the expectations of others is a substitute for personal needs & wants
Neurotic Style: ‘Hysteric’ process – unconsciously building up emotional energy & then discharging it willy-nilly into the environment (over-reacting, clowning….)
Life challenge: To find the balance between Self and Other, autonomy & dependence, acknowledging & expressing their authentic Inner state.
They tend to resist this inward turn, using many rationalizations to ‘explain’ why they can’t or don’t have time to be introspective.
Each of the 3 types will have their specific excuse, based on lack of self-esteem & emotionally hooked to the past.
Their two major themes are: Identity: “Who am I?” and
Hostility : “I hate you for not loving me in the way I want!”.
2s externalize their shame, & create an image of good person
3s feel conflicted between feeling shame & creating an image of success
4s internalize their shame, & create an image of unique identity
“SHAME eats away at the very core of who you are, wondering if you have enough value to meet all the demands of life & love. Without a clear answer to this question, you set out to get evidence – to prove your worth, in many unproductive & unhealthy ways. All that effort – to get something you already have.” (MORE…..)
• Their Primary Instinct “To DO something” means they have a need to respond to other people or circumstances in order to stay connected.
This is true even if they’re not feeling something themselves, or don’t actually like the person or group. P.D .Ouspensky called them ‘Natural Imitators”, sometimes generating emotions they think suitable to a given situation. They create a facade for others to relate to – of like-ability (2s), success (3s) & uniqueness (4), & then become dependent on the reactions of others for their sense of value & worth.
NEXT: Heart Triad (2b)