THE STRONGER MY EGO –
the healthier I am
Previous: S & I – EGO (Part 1)
SITE: “Defense of the Ego”
From EGO PSYCHOLOGY –
Throughout childhood, Ego develops in sequence, from a combination of factors:
• our innate & inherited qualities • having our basic needs met
• identifying with others (copying admired adults)
• interpersonal relationships • studying & learning
• mastering development tasks • effectively solving problems
• successfully coping with life’s challenges
✶ The healthy ego exists for a legitimate purpose, an integral part of spirituality & totality of Being. Removing the ego is like removing your right hand & only keeping the left one
BASIC COMPONENTS of the Healthy Ego
For ACoAs & all other wounded people, the following qualities are what we can strive for as we heal. The stronger these are, the better our self-esteem. ‘Ego functions’ are the means by which people successfully adapt to the world:
🍂 Affect Regulation – The ability to maintain or increase positive emotions & a sense of well-being, while minimizing or regulating stress feelings & defensive states. Gives the ability to manage all types & intensity of Es, without being overwhelmed by them. It’s the result of the growth, development & links to our emotional brain (limbic system), based on early experiences with parents
🍂 Defensive Functioning – Automatic psychological processes that make us aware of internal or external dangers & stressors. It maintains our defense mechanisms, those developed in childhood & more mature ones (projection, intellectualization, rationalization…), which guard against powerful identity-
threatening feelings (panic, hate, rage…) that get stirred up
🍂 Impulse control – (opposite of impulsive or compulsive acting out)
The ability to choose when & how to act – for short or long-term gains when moving toward a specific goal – allowing us to wait to get something we want. Helps prevent immediately acting on aggressive &/or sexual wishes, & not developing physical symptoms from repressing those desires (actual ailments, obsessions, hypochondria….)
🍂 Good Judgment – (NOT being judgmental). Forming the best opinions & decisions, by objectively considering, comparing & evaluating known info, while resisting peer pressure & our own emotions. Allows us to act responsibly, which includes identifying our options, anticipating & evaluating likely consequences, & choosing appropriate actions in each circumstance
🍂 Object Relations – how the The Self relates to other people (Subject to 
Objects) in the unconscious, based on internalized images of our actual parents (or parts – like mother’s breast), as well as images we create about others (ogre, angel…).
When emotionally healthy we have the capacity for mutually satisfying relationship – seeing ourselves & others as whole three-dimensional ‘objects’. We can form emotional bonds with others, instead of only focusing on ourselves
🍂 Reality Testing – The ability to distinguish between what’s going on in our own mind of thoughts, feelings, fantasy & distortions from objective facts & the external world, in order to act in a way that shows an awareness of accepted social norms & customs. By imaging, labeling & organizing our observations, we can make sense of them & put into mental files so we can make decisions about their “value,” potential threat or benefit….
A reality test is something that helps us come to grips with reality. Using ‘reality-indicators’, the mind can determine whether an experience is happening in the present or is the recall of a previous one
🍂 Synthesis – (opposite of Splitting), the most basic ego function : string
ing together succeeding moments of experience into a single preserved ‘event’, allowing all ego functions to be used. It means to be internally congruent – without different parts of ourselves being in conflict (PP vs HA, LP vs WIC…)
This organization & unification allows us to think, feel & act in a consistent way. Meshing a healthy ego identity with personal & group identity gives us a framework for successfully operating in the world
🍂 Thought Processes – 2 states of the thinking mind (vs. the emotional):
a. Primary – ‘primitive’, imaginative style, during altered states of consciousness, not in the Ego’s control —> from wishing, day-dreaming, night-dreaming, fugue states —> all the way to psychosis, & may include some loss of motor function
b. Secondary – normal waking consciousness of adult humans – the stable Ego’s work to minimize free-floating mental energy. It’s been called ‘inhibited’ or ‘bound’ because it is guided by the ‘Reality Principle’. This gives the ability to develop & hold logical, coherent, abstract thought. Also, to make appropriate decisions, use cause-&-effect thinking & be goal-directed. (MORE...)
NEXT: Negative Benefits – #1
