I GET ALONG BEST with people who get me

PREVIOUS: Comm Cat. #1

QUOTE: “A man’s character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.”  ~ Mark Twain

↗️ “FORIGN STUDENTS” by DMT

CATEGORIES of Communication (Comm) cont.
1. Re. CONTENT (in Part 1 a & b)

2. Re. AVAILABILITY to self & others
The Johari Window works best for groups because it allows for self-awareness & useful feedback. It can also be used to track the growth of an individual, in their progress towards intimacy in 1-to-1 relationships.

• Even when we decide to take the risk of being open with others, doing so fully is much scarier & more complicated than most will admit. The chart shows what people know or don’t know about themselves, & what they reveal or don’t reveal to others.

NOTE: I = the individual, & O = the other person (not the group)
The size of each section increases or decreases as relationships change.

GREEN: Initially, what is known & shared with others will be very small. Naturally, the larger the Open section, the better the communication.
ORANGE: Characteristics that are un-known about ‘I’, both to oneself & to the group or to ‘O’
RED: What is un-known to ‘I’, but visible to most others. With ‘I’s’ courage & the right kind of mirroring by others, ‘I’ can become more self-aware
AQUA: What is known to ‘I’ but not to others, & stays that way until trust develops, allowing ‘I’ to gradually reveal more & more about oneself

3. Re. FORMS of Comm.
a. Verbal – using words to deliver an intended message. While it’s still the most successful form, this makes up only @ 7-20% of all human comm! Effectiveness depends on clarity, grammar, vocabulary & writing style, plus the skillful use of the other 80%
— Written: brochures, contracts, formal business proposals, handbooks, memos, press releases…..
— Oral: face-to-face or phone, voice chat, video conferencing …. Can be either Informal, such as the grapevine & rumor mill, arguing a topic…. or Formal, such as conferences, debates, lectures….

b. Visual Aids: Use of color, drawings & illustrations, electronic media, graphic design, typography….
Graphs & charts usually reinforce anything written, or can replace it altogether.

c. Para-language (Non-verbal/gestural) : Physical ways to convey thoughts & feelings. The way something is said – expressing approval, interest or lack of it. (MORE….)
It includes emotion, intonation, pitch, style of speaking, stress, tone, & voice quality & touch. Some research estimates tone of the voice accounts for 38% of all comm, 55% is from body posture & gestures, & only 7% from the actual words used.

EXP: Shortcuts • shrugging = “I don’t know”
• looking away = “I’m thinking” OR “I’m lying / withholding”
• holding a hand up = ‘stop / back off’
• crooking a finger = asking someone to come closer
• wagging a finger = saying “naughty, naughty”
• tapping or patting = “Hello / Pay attention / I empathize / “Poor dear”…..
• laughing = “I agree/ identify”OR “I think that’s ridiculous”
• tone of voice = pleasure at seeing someone, OR displeasure / anger about something…..

Other FORMS can also express one’s personality, social status & taste :
Aesthetic comm & creative expressions – dancing, art work….
Appearance, & style of dressing/ grooming
Space language – owning paintings & landscapes
Symbols – any religious or ego-building images
(From: Bright Hub Project Management)

4. Re. SYNERGY levels, via TRUST + CO-OPERATION
Synergy means that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts – so inter-actions between them create new connections. The result is not just another ‘part’, but the most catalytic, empowering, unifying & exciting outcome.(CHART)

LOW-Trust: These interactions are expressed thru defensive, over-protective & often legalistic language – used to ‘covers all the bases’, to indicate escape clauses & qualifiers (if…then) – in case things ‘go south’

MIDDLE: This is ‘careful’ Comm, used by average/normal people, who have respect for each other, & want to avoid the possibility of ugly confrontations, so they’re polite rather than emphatic or confrontive. They might understand each other intellectually, but are not likely aware of their own underlying patterns & assumptions, so aren’t really open to new possibilities available from connecting with others

HIGH: Synergy allows interactions with creative solutions offered by others that are much better than any available at the lower levels. Here all participant know it, feel it & enjoy the outcome – practical, emotional &/or artistic. It means that 1+1 may equal 8, 16, or even 1,600. The possibility of truly significant gains & improvements in such relationships are so real that it’s worth the risk to let oneself welcome the unknown. 

NEXT: Comm Categories #3