PREVIOUS Arrows
(Types 3, 4)

💟 Type 5 under STRESS
With stress, you take on characteristics of the unhealthy Type 7.  One way that shows up is that you can feel pressured to relate & talk to people, while on the inside you’re  counting the minutes until you can escape & retreat to your own private space.

Another version is for the 5 to be scattered, frantic, even clingy – trying to feel safe. Your usual calm presentation becomes tight & stiff, as you try to manage functioning while being distracted, disorganized & disoriented.

As you become more fearful you’ll  white-knuckle everything in your life – resources, time, energy…. becoming harsh & condescending toward others, maybe even frivolous, often selfish & self-focused – truly hurting those you care about.

It might also show up as the frantic 5 – instead of your usual reserve – distorting the 7’s outgoing, gregarious style by compulsively being the life of the party, talking up a storm when you get exited about something.

♥️ 5s, at your absolute best, you find energy, inner strength & the confidence of the healthy Type 8. But the shift may be quite dramatic. As a quiet & somewhat withdrawn 5 you become more body-based, more assertive, even intense in the way you express yourself.

How wonderful for a somewhat detached, mental type to access the instinctual gut vitality & (potential) grounded-ness of the 8.
You trade the role of Observer for Engager in social situations & start to share more of who you are. While this surprising change can be quite a challenge for the friend or partner, showing up this way is a gift to those around you who long to know the parts you generally hide. ⬆️ Full art explanation 

The 8 helps you trust that you have enough info, plus the guts & energy to make it through tough times, rather than operating from scarcity. You focus on positive changes, supporting the efforts of others & making a difference in the world.
8 provides a lot of good energy, if managed well. Some 5s use this arrow-line regularly in physical activities such as sports, martial arts, or a committed outdoor lifestyle.

» GROWTH Inventory :
a. The 8 arrow line also indicates a deep shadow of enormous personal power & the ability to take up a great deal of space, even more than most people can inhabit. So as a 5,
— how do you use the amount of deep and rich power that is potentially yours?
b. And what about the 8’s ability to move into a larger space & fill the territory?
— what would it look like if you could be big, rather than keeping yourself small?
💟 Type 6 under STRESS
As you start sliding downward, you start to look like the low side of Type 3s. You either become completely passive, blindly following authority, or arrogant & competitive, in frantic action or anxious striving. You may present the image of having it all together – while over-doing everything. Afraid of not being successful, you won’t try new things unless you’re sure you can pull it off.

You’ll work hard to manage the increasing anxiety by controlling, restricting &/or obsessively working.  When you notice pushing yourself too much, pause, breathe & actively finding ways to calm you mind. Work on managing anxiety, rather than being consumed by it.

However, the 3 anergy is responsive & adaptable, letting you quickly get into action & achieve results directly. It can be a great relief as a 6 to “just do it”, leaving behind over-thinking & doubting. In business, 6s are often pulled, or pushed, into the 3 position. You can do this up to a point, but will eventually find it quite stressful. To avoid burnout or getting sick, you’ll need to get back to home base.

♥️ At your best, move towards the high side of the Type 9 by being more optimistic & relaxed. You’ll notice this shift when you  drop your center of gravity from head (5,6,7) down to the belly (8,9,1), literally relaxing into you body & a wider consciousness.

You’re less concerned with figuring things out, & more accepting of whatever happens, trusting the universe.  Being more emotionally open, receptive & peaceful – you stop constantly scanning the environment for danger.

You become more easy-going & light-hearted by quieting the scared “inner committee”, seeing life from many different angles. You’ll be able to get in touch with your gut when making decisions, trusting yourself more than the authority figures in your life. You intuition is sharper than you realize most of the time. ⬆️ Full art explanation

Many 6s develop their bodies through exercise or athletics, & If you over-do things you an end up with inertia & indiscrimination. It’s also imperative for 6s to relax the mind, allowing “big-picture thinking & going with the flow” of the 9.
Joining the best of  Types 6 + 9  has the great potential of combining perceptive intellect & instinctual grounded-ness.

» GROWTH Inventory :
a. The 9 arrow line also indicates a vast shadow of peace & flow. So as a 6, — how do you express peace, flow & relaxation?
b. And what about the 9’s ability to be ok with the uncertainty that comes with multiple perspectives but without clear answers?
— Can you? How do you handle that?

NEXT : Arrows 7, 8

PREVIOUS :
ARROWS (Types 1, 2)

💟 Type 3 under STRESS
At the early signs of stress you become more true to type – extra competitive & eager to prove yourself. You try ways to stand out from the rest of your peers, but not so much that you get isolated. Working on a variety of projects becomes a way to ‘manage’ the stress, ending in exhaustion.

As you disintegrate you slide towards the low side of Type 9, you’re overwhelmed by doubt, losing interest in your own ambitions, your natural confidence & optimism slip away, losing motivation. You’ll be forced into that point by overwork & other stressors, wasting energy in unproductive busywork or totally zoning out of life & laze around – very uncharacteristic for 3s.

You can become extremely people-pleasing & begging for attention, at the cost of your integrity. It can get so bad that you turn the 3’s competitiveness & aggression on yourself, being self-neglecting, even self-destructive, looking disheveled & unkempt.

Alternatively – it’s also possible at Point 9 to slow down a bit, following more body-based rhythms of activity & rest. If you can move to the 9 before getting overwhelmed, you can benefit from the grounding & harmonizing qualities available there.

♥️ As 3s move towards the health arrow line to the high side Type 6, you become more focused & engaged with the people around you, rather than obsessed about the work that “need to get done.” You’re warmer, closer in touch with your emotions, & have a strong desire to connect with loved ones.

You commit to something outside of tasks, allowing yourself to lean on others, & accept that you’re part of a greater whole. Doing volunteer work, asking for advice from a trusted friend, or seeking wisdom from someone you admire – is encouraging.

As you’re more in touch with worries & let others to know about them – this vulnerability actually build stronger relationships. You start accepting that you’re loved for who you are, not what you’re doing or producing. This allows you to admire other people – instead of feeling pressured to always be the “best.”

You’re less competitive, not focused on impressing others, using your talents to serve the community – championing others, doing what’s best for the group, believing that we’re better off together. Through this process, you’re more connected to self & others, so feel safer.

It’s a good time to re-evaluate what success truly means to you – getting lots of things checked off the list? having thriving relationships? others’ constant approval? being your authentic self?  Your answers say a great deal about how you show up in life, relationships & at work. ⬆️ Full art explanation

» GROWTH Inventory :
a. The 6 arrow line also indicates a deep shadow of anxiety & fretting. So as a 3,
— how are you anxious & uncertain, even when you are trying to hide the angst inside, even from yourself?
b. And what about the 6’s incredible insight & depth?
—  how can you integrate this keen ability to experience, analyze & understand the complexity of the world around you? 💟 Type 4 under STRESS
When a 4 begins to slip into a less healthy space, you become more negatively 4ish – physically withdrawn, mentally confused, & emotionally sad & depressed, feeling disconnected from the rest of the world.

You think nobody understands you, you’re on an island alone & everyone’s entirely out of reach. Fantasies take over, but you get more & more depressed as you realize your fantasy world is so different from real life.

As stress increases, you fall to the unhealthy 2. Like them, you feel deeply unstable & unsure of who you are – on your own. Desperately trying to find a connection, you reach out to others to be helpful & generous, but are needy & overly-attentive – wanting to be needed as well as supported.

You hope others will realize how gifted or talented you are, & see you as a unique individual. Envy surfaces as you become even more convinced you’re defective & missing something essential.

Ironically, many 4s report that it can take too much effort to stay long in the 2ish ‘nice’ attitude. OR it can feel false, as if they’re giving up their individuality to win approval & make connections.

However, if you can choose, or at least accept, that – to be in the external environment of relationship – you’re leaving your comfort zone, you’ll handle ‘having to meet & greet people with more grace.

♥️ During periods of growth & security, 4s will begin to take on positive qualities of 1s. Feeling secure & well appreciated, your center of gravity tends to shift to the belly center (8,9,1), becoming more physically grounded & emotionally calm. 

You want to put things right & can take principled actions, rather than being sad & worrying about what’s missing. Instead of feeling victimized, or having volatile, angry outbursts, your instinctual energy is steadied & you can consistently stand up for yourself.

You have clarity about who you are & where you’re going, so become less dependent & obsessed about the past. Instead, you live in the present, experiencing it fully, staying aware of your emotions & needs.
This allows you to have a healthy understanding of & separation between identifying but not being those feelings – able to control emotions, not always needing to act on each one.

You can think more positively & feel joy, living in the present moment. The discipline of the #1 allows you to follow through & reach 4’s creative ideas & dreams. Remember – the identity you long for is already part of yourself, not something to be manufactured.  ⬆️ Full art explanation

» GROWTH Inventory :
a. The 1 arrow-line also indicates a deep shadow of judgment & resentment. So as a 4,
— how are you critical, deeply angry & resentful?
b. And what about the 1’s sophisticated discernment & ability to exert self-control?
— how can you be more discerning, better at holding your boundaries & more self-regulated?

NEXT : ARROW (Part 3)

PREVIOUS : ARROWS – INTRO

💟 Type 1 under STRESS
AT FIRST, when you sink into a less healthy place, you become more true to your type –  overzealous in proving you’re right. You’ll see things more in B & W black, suppress anger through gritted teeth, clenched fists, & possibly workaholism.

As stress increases, you become moody & irrational like unhealthy 4s, getting lost under the brutal judgment of your inner critic.  You’re weighed down by negative thoughts, assume you’re unlovable, & so become more sensitive to any criticism, however well-meant.

Tired of being responsible and trying to live up to their ideals, stress frees you to admit being upset. After holding it together for so long, now it spills out in a disorderly, even hurtful, way.
OR –
you internalize anger even further, getting more judgmental of self & everyone else. Resisting any sort of fun or an offer of connection from others, you end up resenting people who are enjoying life – sinking further into misery.

♥️ Type 1 in GROWTH
During periods of growth & security, you take on some of type 7’s best qualities, become more forgiving, spontaneous & joyful. Being more optimistic, you’re able to see the good things in the world, letting yourself have fun & be spontaneous. Self-acceptance will be easier. ⬇️  Full art explanation

At your best, you realize that part of being a responsible person means taking good, tender care of yourself. You’ll want to try new things & be open to many new & exciting opportunities. Recognizing that life is a journey to be enjoyed, not a goal to be accomplished, you can pause to enjoy the little things that show up along the way . 

Adding type 7’s creativity to come up with positive options, you use
your clear sense of what “perfect” looks like by enjoying the benefits of sticking to reasonable rules, structured plans & time commitments, to make your idea a reality.

When you succeed integrating these two points (1 + 7), the enthusiasm & positive spirit of the 7 will infuse the responsibility & hard-work of the 1. Flexibility & spontaneity are joined with integrity & purposefulness.

Warning : If the 7 point is not well integrated, you can “act out” now that your usual self-control is gone – overdoing everything.
» GROWTH Inventory :
a. The 7 arrow line also indicates a deep shadow of licentiousness & hedonism. So, as a 1 :
— how are you licentious (decadent) & hedonistic?
b. About the 7’s spontaneity & ability to innovate?
— how often do you dare to think & act outside conventional rules of engagement?

💟 Type 2 under STRESS
When you start to experience stress, you immediately behave more 2ish – repressing unacceptable emotions & focusing on serving others. You hope that if you do enough – then maybe you can ask for something in return.

However, many times you just don’t ask for what you really need, so when people don’t read your mind you feel taken for granted & used. So when you don’t get the affection longed for, you can take on some of the harsh qualities of the 8.  You become more controlling, demanding & manipulative, shifting blame for difficult situations on to others

You may lash out at others, feeling justified in going after the attention that’s been missing for so long. You might gossip, point out the things you have done, & act arrogant & self-righteous. It can go so far that you become bitter, vengeful, fueled by hatred. You may obsess about & point out ‘old wrongs’ you’re still upset about. Stress makes you possessive in relationships, which can leave others feeling smothered & inadequate.

♥️Type 2 In GROWTH
At your best, you pick up the healthy qualities of Type 4 – you can shed some of  the pressure to “love everyone”, focusing more inward. It’s vital to look at yourself squarely, dark side & all, so you can move towards self-knowledge – to realize your repressed emotions, needs & motives.

Spending time in quiet introspection & creativity helps you be more self-accepting, so life feels more profoundly meaningful. You can spend time with people who benefit & encourage, & invest effort in things you truly enjoy doing, by yourself, just for yourself.

⬅️ Full art explanation

Remember : you’re loved for who you are, even when you’re not serving. Your needs are worthy of their own attention, & you have to provide many of them, along with asking for the support & help you have a right to.
Also, your natural generosity becomes more powerful because you’re deeply in tune with the human experience as a whole.

Warning : The drawback of the 4 is that you may get stuck in sadness or melancholy, ‘helped’ by seeing only what’s missing in work or in relationship.
» GROWTH Inventory :
a. The 4 arrow line also indicates a deep shadow of anger – for not being seen & not getting your needs met, AND despair about feeling hopelessness about it all.  So as a 2,
— how are you angry & despairing, even as you’re hiding behind a smile?
b. And about the 4’s creativity & ability to be different from others? — how could you be more creative, more daring to be yourself even when these defy societal norms?

NEXT : ARROWS (Types 3, 4)

PREVIOUS :

SITE : “History of the Arrows”

BASICS: The Enneagram is expressed as a series of lines of movement or influence, which indicate the interactions between the Types, patterns of energy movement or flow.  It seems there’s some inherent, organizing intelligence in the diagram itself.

In this way the Enneagram is different from other personality systems. It’s more than a simple list – it’s a holistic system based on the symmetry & mathematics of this ancient diagram. Apparently the lines indicate the ways that energy moves in repeated patterns, & regarding humans, the lines seem to carry important information about our psychological patterns.

This design provides 4 visible options to enrich each Type, by offering specific development stretches :
— the wings (the number on each side) that provide more gentle growth steps (in future posts)
and
— arrow-line points that provide more radical movement.
Each ennea-type has two lines of influence emerging from it, connecting to two others – indicating patterns of energy flow between the types. They suggest how we’re likely to act in different situations.
💛 Various NAMES of the 2 directions :
“Growth vs Stress” , “Integration vs Disintegration” ,  “Stretch vs Release” , “Development vs Tension”

★ The Direction of Growth arrow represents ideas & behaviors we incorporate into our type during personal growth, generally positive responses that will lead to psychological / spiritual improvement over time.

For each type, this arrow-point highlights the inner talents & learned skills we need to develop in order to remain cool under pressure. Those characteristics are a checklist of things we can consciously do to integrate those abilities.

Moving along this line allows us to explore the higher aspects of the connecting type, opening a doorway to increased health, self-actualization, & release of stress.
AND
★ The Direction of Stress can be seen as the direction of stretch or challenge, thought to represent how we’re likely to act when
overwhelmed – mainly a course of downhill behaviors, a doorway to potential neurosis.

What defines as stressful will depend on your primary type.
EXP: a 3 will feel frustrated when not having enough work to do
— a 5 can feel overwhelmed when too many people want to talk to them at the same time
— a 7 may feel pressured when having to create something that will be judged by others…..

While our core type remains ‘home base’, we can travel or even be pulled along these connecting lines, taking the number at the other end of the arrow as either a polarity or a paradox to be experienced.  .

📍 The usual understanding has been that when we add information from the “good” arrow’s type, we’re becoming more ‘developed’, but when traveling in the “bad” direction, we’re undermining ourselves.

More recently, it’s become clear that we actually need both to develop into a balanced, functional person. Both arrow-point numbers provide an important option for expanding our type, so both can help to create positive, sustained behavioral changes.

Arrows are a roadmap for growth, indicating the resources & strategies available for tackling the built-in challenges our personality type naturally struggles with.
OPTION:  a deliberate use of the higher side of our ‘stress’ type may combine positive stress with stretch, balancing the less-effective tendencies or reactions of the core type.

EXP : Type 8 (arrows to #2 & #5) works hard to keep things running & to champion the underdog – everywhere. The qualities from type 2 can be used to soften the 8’s ‘natural’ harshness when interacting with others . And the 5’s studious nature can be used to quiet the 8’s busyness so it can take private time to contemplate or study.

When we move along the lines there’s a rich potential for exploration with a valuable shift in perspective – that lets us step out of our typical style & reactions, to create new ways of responding to our world. Ideally, the goal is to be fluent in using our two lines as tools to form a Whole Self.

Ultimately, the goal is to “move around” the circle, integrating what each type symbolizes, gaining the healthy potentials of all the types.
Each Enneagram number expresses a variety of important qualities we need to live well. The ideal is to become a balanced, fully functioning person who can draw on the power (from the Latin “virtue”) of each type – as needed.

IMP : The personality type we start out with is less important than how well (or badly) we use our number as the staring point for development & self-realization.

NEXT : ARROW (Part 2)

PREVIOUS: Subtype Stacking – SO

SITE : ALL ABOUT LAZINESS

DEF: “A failure to act or perform as expected due to conscious, controllable factors — namely a lack of individual effort.

ACoAs have been trained to be human DOings, instead of human BEings. So, taking time out to relax is considered worthless, even a ‘sin’. We believe everything has to be done the hard way, no matter how much it stresses or harms us.

This is based on some of the Toxic Rules we were raised by:
“Life is an endless struggle / / Down time is wasted time / / No playing until ALL my work is done / / I’m supposed to always suffer / / I have to keep tying BUT never get ‘there'”
We assume that relaxing means we’re not being productive – not ‘producing’ an object or a function (cleaning, writing….).

However – resting, doing something pleasant or something fun is actually a very real need of our body & mind.

Modified from Kayla Matthews’ article “You can be lazy”:

• When your mate wants to spend time with you
Mentally positive & emotionally fun time spent with your  significant other (S.O.) can have a positive & dramatic impact on the relationship, so make sure to put it higher on your priority list than paperwork or household chores

• To NOT miss the little things
Watching the sun set, or making time for other small pleasures as often as possible (every day?), can have a number of medical & emotional benefits. It can also be a great source of inspiration & motivation for future productivity. SO – take a few minutes to watch the sky change colors & then get back to work.

• When you feel a cold coming on
When the seasons change, we may feel tired & achy. Handle the early signs of a cold with more self-care, taking a lazy day off to sleep, take vitamins, cleaner food, play….

Some people actually try to work harder, assuming they’ll get it all done before they start to feel truly awful. Usually this adds stress tp an already compromised body. So the best thing to DO is nip your cold in the bud to max health & productivity

• When aggressively over-doing
Unexpected things to deal with can crop up throughout the year, and certain times are extra stressful, like end-of-year holidays.
So it’s best not to wait to the last minute to prepare for the ‘onslaught’ of activities.
On the other hand, don’t drive yourself crazy trying to plan & organize everything – perfectly – in advance. Do a little at a time, spread out what you can, AND take small breaks – often. You’ll feel stronger & get more done.

• When not being ‘productive’
Sometimes we confuse productivity with busy-ness. Just because you’re working on something doesn’t necessarily mean it’s moving you toward a valid goal .
If you’re no longer interested in the task or project you’ve been sweating over, or you have mental-block — you’re better off stopping to take a nap, grab a healthy snack, read something non-related to the work…..  That way your mind has time to unwind, recharge, maybe even letting your unconscious work out a problem while your conscious mind is focused elsewhere

• When emotionally stressing out
If you’re worrying about something about work or in your home life, take an hour or two to quiet yourself – whichever healthy way works best for you.
New ideas or Improved motivation come more easily to a quiet & rested (lazy) mind — than to a frantic, overactive one. When you go back to your tasks or creative project, you may be able to focus on them more calmly & be more productive.

• When spending too much 
While soup & sandwiches might not be ideal for dinner every night, they can definitely be the answer if you’ve been eating out too often. Having a lazy meal at home can be a nice change of pace, for both you & your wallet.

• When ‘burnt out’
There’s a difference between simply not wanting to do something & actually being exhausted. It’s very wise (healthy, loving….) to listen to what your body is saying:
— If it’s physical, take an evening to veg out with your favorite escapism
— If it’s mental, just the opposite may be true – do something physical. Exercise release endorphins that make you feel better

• When you’re done
Our society places a lot of value on the number of hours we spend working every day. But that shouldn’t matter nearly as much as quality of output.

🌱  If you can turn out great work in less time than the next guy, that’s your plus.
🌱  If you need more time to do things right & well, that’s what’s best for you.
🌱   If you’re done with your to-do list, you’ve earned lazy time.

NEXT: Enneagram ARROWS – INTRO

PREVIOUS : BLIND SPOTS (SX)

(SO) Social instinct as Blind spot – SP/SX (so) and SX/SP (so)

• Connection / Care: The connections made by the sexual instinct (SX ) do not involve bonding or reciprocity. While they can feel love, the instinctual drive itself is more concerned with connecting chemically, like getting a drug fix, & keeping that high locked in.

Once the energy of attraction wears off, they nay not bother keeping the connection – as they search for a new energy fix because the people in their life are less of a ‘big deal’ or not that important. They can make friends or have other relationships, but are not “close” than they seem. 

They also have less of a “screening process” regarding others. SO has a sense of “good & bad people” built in, innately knowing who has the same moral values or sees the world as they do.
BUT SO-blinds don’t pay attention to others’ typical characteristics. They ignore what’s obviously dysfunctional or ‘blind’ to personality flaws in others, to their detriment.

• Mind-reading: SO-blinds are often unaware of certain social cues, without meaning to rebel, cues generally part the great lattice-work of the unconscious collective – but unavailable or muted in favor of SP & SX.

SO-blinds may create beautiful art or have great ideas, but lack the superb communication skills of SO-Dom – a clear awareness of being received by others, & can respond appropriately. Lacking this natural instinct, SO-blinds may behave in ways that seem autistic, but is not the same thing.

• Harmony / Role: SO-blinds forget to present a sense of “me” beyond just as an attraction-object. They’re less concerned with how others see them & how they fit into the greater context of society, or even their own small circle.

In a sense, they lack an identity “genre,” which SO-Doms have so strongly. SO-blinds take little pride in being part of any team, of being from a particular city / place, of having a “crew” or group….

The main facets of SP/SX and SX/SP:
• Attention is on the Self & its needs, objectifying others for sex / arousal, or gathering personal resources

• Little attention is paid to presenting oneself properly / successfully in ways that could show who the person actually is

• Lack awareness of what created the bonds already present, who they are in relation to others, nor how they reciprocate

• They’re not bonded by communication, don’t talk just for the sake of it, or try to connect based on shared interests. They may feel a connecting on somethings, but don’t identify with the ‘space’ between people that the connection brings.

• They don’t seem to have a sense of social order, of what it means to be “human” (SOs can rebel too, but it’s deliberate)

• They outsource social ‘knowledge’ to others, who will keep them in the loop. (From the “Enneagram Dark Arts Academy“

STACK ENERGIES
SP/SO – Potential  –> Mechanical
Focus is on fitness, on the interaction of people /places / things (PPT), & how those interactions affect their fitness. Therefore they’ll be more business-like. EXP : “If I take that offer, it might help me more”

SP/SX – Potential  –> Chemical
Focus is on their fitness, the chemical bonds they’ve developed with others, & how their chemistry affects their own fitness

SX/SO – Chemical  –> Mechanical
Focus is on the chemistry of PPT, & how their “mechanical energy” influences connections with others. They may rely on SO to help keep those bonds stable EXP: asking a friend for relationship advice, offering the right kind of gifts….

SX/SP – Chemical  –> Potential
Focus is on their personal fitness, the strength / health of their chemical bonds with others, & what they can do to make them “fit-er”.

SO/SX – Mechanical –> Chemical
(–> = then)
Focus is on interactions of PPT, & how their own “chemical energy” influences these activities. They use it to help them interact better, wanting to bond with everything they deal with.

SO/SP – Mechanical -> Potential
Focus is on their own fitness, the interaction of PPT, & how ‘healthy’ those are. They may use their fitness to reinforce the strength of the interactions. EXP: “I’ll do better at work if I’m well-suited”
(MORE…  scroll way down)

NEXT :

PREVIOUS : Stacking BLIND SPOT (SP)

NOTE: Blind spots are AREAs ignored in each of the Subtype stacks

(SX) Sexual instinct as Blind Spot – SP/SO (sx) and SO/SP(sx)

🔶Arousal / Repulsion: People who are Sexual-blind aren’t very in-tune with what turns them on energetically. While they can have strong passions & interests, they don’t really immerse their whole Self in someone / something. 

The SX-blind are perfectly capable of having enjoyable sex, but it’s less of a “sacred” activity. Some will not want to have sex unless they’re in “love” (or feel a social bond), while others are comfortable satisfying their sexual urges as a simple bodily function (especially SP/SO). 

This is contrary to the mating dance that SX-Doms perform, the attraction strategy being the things they’re over-identified with, rather than just the physical “doing it” part. 

Everyone is inherently capable of enjoying sex (unless asexual or traumatized). But SX-blinds are slower to notice to be aware of who’s attracted to them, so it may take them a while to figure out if they’re completely interested or drawn to another.
While some can immediately feel a basic arousal when attracted to a new person, many simply aren’t aware of what makes them attractive or engaging that hook people to themselves.

🔶Fusion: SX-blinds will try to “merge” with people using Social strategies : more interested in finding connections with a stronger sense of reciprocity or that meet a person where they’re at, rather than objectifying someone to get a sexual-energy fix.

They will also lack the psychological androgyny of SX-Doms who have boundaries which they can use to block their “opening” or “penetrating” (female /male) interactions, when needed. Throwing social rules aside & allowing oneself to yield to another  – can seem too much for SX-blinds. 

SX-blinds can feel strongly sexual or romantic toward another, but won’t completely lose themselves as a slave to those attractions. Instead, they may focus strategies on their DOM instinct:
— SP/SO assumes the key to attraction is a fit or thin body
— SO/SP assumes the key is their social display / affiliations / successes / friendliness….

🔶Chemistry: SX-blinds are less aware of that energetic chemistry where two people are magnetically drawn to each other like moths to a flame. Actually, humans do not have a choice about intense physical/ sexual attractions, but can be ignored or overridden with ‘Social choice’.

This built-in human power is so scary to many SX-blinds, that they unconsciously suppress awareness of chemical / energetic pulls, their psyche considering it too ‘intense’ or in some way dangerous to their sense of identity.

In fact, they like to believe they definitely have conscious control over who they’re drawn to, rather than being a slave of their own ‘animal’ instincts. So they may try to artificially create the chemistry by using “activities” on dates, such as watching intense movies, drinking alcohol…. 

The main focus of SP/SO and SO/SP:
• Attention is on a combination of survival & society -the structures of & ideas about how we can all live together : cooperation, group affiliations, politics, social contributions…

• There’s a lack of awareness of the body’s own primal urges, what can remove / transform the Self, or to the things that make society fall apart

• The psychological narcotic within can lead to a fear of 1-to-1 or over-personalized interactions, so groups seem safer because there’s less pressure to be interesting or perform

• Focus is on the state of the earth, climate, objects, things that are concrete or man-made : innovations to benefit humanity, building structures for society, & on things that will last, both physical & social monuments

• They outsource or relegate SX topics & activities to vicarious SX books, movies, art, substances…. safely away from themselves. 

NEXT :  SO as Blind Spot

PREVIOUS : STACKs SO/SX & SO/SP

NOTE: Blind spots are AREAs ignored in each of the Subtype stacks

(SP) Self-Preservation as Blind Spot for SO/SX (sp) and SX/SO (sp)

🔷Physical Well-Being: SP-Doms know that the body is completely fragile and that their living consciousness depends on protecting it at all costs.  BUT SP-blinds find crafty ways of ignoring that basic survival need. They can have a deep belief that they’ll survive – no matter what. Mentally, they may know that they’re mortal & susceptible to harm, but there’s an immaturity about accepting that their body is a physical vessel & not “them.” 

Some SP-Doms will take care of their body by testing its limits, & strengthening it.  BUT SP-blinds are out of touch with the need to preserve their health. They might have no problem pleasuring their body with food/sex… but there’s a difference between that & actually taking care of it. They’re either less fazed by illness or injuries OR completely shocked that their bodies would fail them, & suddenly stressed by the idea of having to consider it. 

While the idea of being ill is not pleasurable, SP-blinds are blind to the inevitability of illness. Since SP is the most crucial instinct, SP-blinds often find ways to get around this truth so they don’t have to experience the extreme anxiety of -even- thinking about it. 

They might set up life-structures that allow them to skirt it. EXP : a SP-Dom wants the security because they feel it’s safest, so both a SP-Dom & a SP-blind might sell their soul for a boring government job to have security. BUT the SP-blind knows they don’t have the needed survival skills to exist without a safety net, so may decide this is the easiest way cope. 

Since instinct is complicated, the reverse can also be true for some people :
— The SP-Dom might avoid that boring job because they actually feel equipped to survive something more challenging, &
— the SP-blind might avoid that secure job because they have the toddler-style of just not thinking about safety at all. Motivation is key.

🔷 Self-Regulation and Skills: Many SP-Doms enjoy developing specific hands-on skills, & some will see responsibilities as boring. BUT SP-blinds view all effort as “boring & unimportant”, often lacking the ability to build their life piece-by-piece for the long-term, blind to the hard work it takes to get results.

🔷 Resources and Foundations: SP-blinds are the least likely to be hoarders, or in general accumulate “stuff”. There’s a blindness around the physicality of objects & bodies. SP-blinds are the opposite of a ‘natural’ business person, & rarely make the connection between work & money.
Some (like 3’s) will work very hard, becoming rich & successful, but building long-term foundations for themselves doesn’t seem important, so the idea of securing their future is ignored.

Main facets of SO/SX and SX/SO (SP-Bind):
• They want influence. Their social realm is toyed with playfully, focusing on others, with lots of showing off by both types – about who they are, what they’re into, being open but overly personal – one intense connection at a time.

• Not good at regulating themselves re. strong opinions, emotions & impulses. They have an irresponsible attitude about life, ignoring what’s actually needed to survive :“It’ll all work out / who cares.”

• SP-blinds consider dealing with health on a daily basis exhausting (healthy eating, working out, making money….), having a strong impulse to just ignore these, & want is all done for them. They just don’t worry about all that “important stuff.” 

• Ironically, it seems that some do get whatever they want in life without trying or considering the hard work it takes to get it. They delegate SP to others, knowing in the back of their mind that someone else will take care of their well-being with practical skills they can’t be bothered to apply, even being their financial safety net.

NEXT : Blindspot SO

PREVIOUS : Enneagram STACK

(SO/SX) “The Intense Appealer”
Dom: Social, 2nd : Sexual (blindspot : Self-Preservation)

Mindset: “If I can get close to people with merging/intensity, I can be sure of & keep improving my position & inclusion in the group / world.”

☼ Can seem flighty / rootless, willing to adapt & mirror others, to connect. Wide, ubiquitous presence, hard to grasp, up-in-the-air, wishy-washy, wide-ranging passion and interest

☼ There’s a practical immaturity, nomadic, unattached. Aren’t as concerned with having physical roots or ‘important’ material items

☼ Often float from group to group or person to person with grace & ease, feeling close to no one, while inspiring others to feel close to them.

☼ Seem to ‘relax’ around people but are not necessarily engaged, & are uncomfortable in large groups

☼ They have a dangerously magnetic charisma, with an elegant social appearance & competence, making them a pickier person – selective within their social sphere

☼ Have strong 1-to-1 social skills, with an inherent sense of others – understanding them.  Excellent at using communication skills as a tool. Charm & grace comforts people into relaxing & trusting the interactions with the SO/SX.

☼ Want to create lasting connections with those they’re interested in.  Tend to cultivate many relationships, seem involved when around someone they’re interested in, but trouble sustaining these bonds when apart

☼ Are acutely perceptive with emotional ‘people awareness’. SO/SXs truly care about other & share that understanding with gentle connection of mind & heart, so can make spell-binding councilors, life-coaches….

☼ Missing SP earth, lack that dull weight, stick-in-the-mud quality. Butterfly, shimmer & sparkle, unsullied by dirt & seriousness of mundane concerns

☼ Break up the monotony of hardened routines, but have difficulty / inability to move forward in certain areas in life

☼ May be attuned to pop culture or latest trend. Can be political, but are more pragmatic & less partisan than SO/SPs2.

☼ The SO world (culture, media, history….) is asexual (–SX), so when stressed, the SO/SX can struggle to build romantic relationships.
This can confuse others because the intensity of intellectual & emotional connections in friendship seem to lend itself to romance, yet nothing happens

☼ SO/SX is all about narrative & symbiotic needs. Image, theater…. Very clever & hyper-observant, they can be obsessively manipulative, planing & working at getting what they want from others

☼ Networking is on cruise control, happy to tell white lies & bend a story for a desired outcome. Honesty comes second to their symbiotic needs. 

☼ Anyone having compatible interests & values with the SO/SX finds this types to be one of the most insightful, interesting & entertaining people to talk to.

Archetypes: Regalia, the Mayor, strolling minstrel, jester

🔷   🔶   🔹   🔸

(SO/SP)
Dom: Social, 2nd : Self-Pres (blindspot : Sexual)

Mindset: “If I can establish an orderly and pleasing lifestyle, I can be sure of & keep improving my position & inclusion in the group / world.”

☼ Comfortable in group settings, but can be formal & awkward 1-on-1. May lack warmth & a sense of “individual” identity, which could lead to problems forming relationships outside their shared social interest

☼ Lack psychological transparency. Emotionally unavailable for self-
revelation or dealing with messy personal ‘issues’ – theirs or others

☼ With SX last, intimacy is a weak area, so people with this stacking often struggle with forming & maintaining romantic relationships. Their main focus is on their role within a group.

☼ Natural political type, wanting status in their social sphere. Affiliate with groups / theories that best defend their social / material interests. Pragmatic, they look for resources & political advantage.

☼ Tend towards patriotic / nationalistic interests rather than the needs of the individual. Less likely to mark territory as their own.

☼ SO/SP want to “change the earth with the voice”. (Earth=SP, Voice/air=SO). Since SX is last, focus is on realistic structural change.

☼ Like SP/SO : physical-space SP is the focus of the communal protective drive of SO. Native-land SP combines with social-mores SO creating a ‘righteousness’ & loyalty to higher principals, history, social themes

☼ Missing SX water/fire, they have a sober/ arid quality, not led by fantastical / addictive impulses (not susceptible to impractical highs) – so less likely to flash their eccentricities

Archetypes: The Bishop, witch hunter, ethnic cleanser, culture warrior

NEXT :

PREVIOUS : Enneagram SP stacks 

SX-firsts aren’t as aware (as SOs) of the practical / literal  interactions between themselves, other people & the environment.
Instead – they’re most aware of the chemistry among those elements. It ASKS :
º Am I close to my mate? to my family?
º How much in common do we all have? 
º Do I really like this situation? Am I attracted to it?
º Is that person attracted to that other person? …..

They very much like being close with intimates, & are generally passionate about things. They fear that chemical bonds could be broken – so when those are, they’re emotionally wounded, with a terrified feeling of literally being ripped away from the important person or object.

(SX/SO) ”The Sensual Player”
 Dom: Sexual, 2nd: Social (blindspot : Self-Preservation)

Mindset: “If I can maintain position & inclusion in the group / world, I can keep up & escalate all this merging intensity.”

☼ They exude raw charisma & sexual energy. Redefine & exploit sexuality to reflect their own colorful understanding of it

☼ Oriented toward people. Want the intensity of having a partner, as well as pursuing social interests. Use the social realm to get what they need out in the world.
But – pulled between intensity & periods of quiet ‘normal’

☼ Identify with what they’re involved with, becoming the symbol of its core essence. Will test boundaries, not content with status quo. Can have a social / spiritual ’cause’

☼ SX/SO is the least sober stacking. SP normally would provide some grounding, so when it’s last , it feels like there’s no place for the to plug into practicality.
Even so, this combo does have some focused drive from its SX-firstness (even perfectionism)

☼ Missing SP‘s physicality of earth, it lacks a dull weight, stick-in-the-mud quality. Butterfly, shimmer & sparkle, unsullied by the seriousness of mundane reality

☼ There’s a practical immaturity, nomadic, no roots – but can have trouble / inability moving forward in certain areas in life

☼ SX/SO is the “social revolutionary” stacking, leaning more toward cultural than political change – although the two are not mutually exclusive

(SO/SP is a bigger player for socio-political / gov. change).
With big ebb-&-flow of attraction & repulsion from SX, SO’s second position makes the social arena ripe for seduction & seizure

☼ This option introduces heat, which causes agitation in social groups, probing & forcing psychological exposure. Without the self-protective ‘pullback’s of SP concerns, it’s “no-holes barred”

☼ So this person’s subconscious attitude is ‘full steam ahead’.  Unfortunately – depending on the Ennea-type – SP-lastness can make SX/SO-almost oblivious to how greatly the revolution they’re causing can threaten their own survival.

☼ SX-first energy is more phallic – a concentrated cluster of nerves leaning forward (SX), poking at the collective emotional space (SO). Picture sticking raw power-lines of SX-first into the electrically-conductive water of the social pool, & stagnant waters have no choice but to start poppin’-&-crackin’.

☼ SX/SO uses exhibitionism.
Other than literal (physical) exposure, unsettling psycho-emotional self-exposure produces an emotionally charged vulnerability in others, reminiscent of genital exposure (displaying what is sensitive).
This can only be experienced as ‘sexual’ in the subconscious of the observer, which is a way to create reactivity into the crowd.
♥️
NOTE – see the SO post
When SO is Dominant, the person neglects other things in favor of focusing on making a contribution (workaholic).

▫️They like gossip. Being included is important, the need to be plugged in to something. Knowing what’s going on is a way to uncover how to find their place in the social hierarchy. SOs always asks “What will I get out of this? Is this worth my while? Do I participate or not?”

▫️ SOs can manipulate others to get what they want, to the point of it being narcissistic, but with a danger of over-accommodating.
Focus can be on politics, jockeying for position & an important role. Can become pathological, with a willingness to pay whatever the admission price is. The darker side – issues can turn into warfare

▫️Talk is a SO thing, used as currency. (SP & SX don’t care as much) . Exploring – “How can we bond? Are we on the same team? Who can I trust?”
Healthy SOs ask:  “How can this help everyone??”

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