PREVIOUS: After-effects : PTSD

SITE : “After Narcissistic Abuse – There is Light, Life & Love” (FaceBook page)

 

REMINDER: Symptoms apply to either gender, those who have finally been able to get away from a NPD parent, mate, boss, cult leader….

These painful symptoms are definitely a major legacy from our alcoholic, narcissistic family. We then find & stay in various N relationships which mimic what we grew up with, they re-traumatize us. This list has echoes of the ACoA Laundry List.
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🍂 Avoidance – of places, sounds, tastes, & songs that remind you of your abuser, &/or abuse events. Intense feelings of anxiety surface even with the idea of having to remember

🍂 Awareness of Symptoms – It’s very scary when you start to realize you’re different from the person you were before the N twisted your world.  PTSD has replaced the presence of the abuser, a constant emotionally draining reminder of the person you’ve escaped

🍂 Confusion = Ns purposely cause extreme confusion & anxiety, knowing that a divided mind is their prisoner, who won’t be able to identify that their confusion is deliberate. Years of gaslighting has blurred – even erased – reality & the border between yourself & others

🍂 Dissociation = Years of ugly power & control tactics constantly used against cause you to ‘dissociate’. It’s an unconscious detachment from one’s emotions, with very little awareness of the body & external surroundings, as an automatic coping mechanism (See symptoms in 2 charts)

🍂 Doubting Yourself = You can often seem uncertain, mistrusting your opinions & feelings, constantly looking for clarification that you haven’t made a mistake or misheard something

🍂 Disturbing Thoughts & Guilt – You may obsessively picture terrible things happening to the N, such as accident, illness, even death. However, such thoughts can leave you with deep guilt & self-hate, adding to your damage

🍂 Feeling ‘Crazy’ =  Ns constantly project their psychological disorder onto those around them. The degree to which you’ve been exposed to this poison is the degree to which you’ll think you’re crazy. But it’s not you!

🍂Fight or Flight Response – Your system was on constant high alert for very real danger in your environment. You’ve become so used to Adrenalin agitation that it’s easy to be startled, reacting sensitively to sudden movements & sounds

🍂 Lack of Joy & Hope – Having been treated with so much cruelty (no matter how subtle) you had to shut down emotionally. Now you’re afraid you’ll never be able to love or trust anyone again. BUT you can recover the ability that’s just hidden.

🍂 Memory Loss – Almost all survivors report trouble with their memory – regardless of age.  It’s from automatically needing to avoid feeling the pain of it all, as well as from the damage to the hippocampus (in Part 3)

🍂 Need for Solitude  – You’re exhausted after the chaos & yo-yo of narc abuse, so wanting to withdraw & isolate is understandable and necessary. You just want to be in your own head for a while to find out your own opinions & answers, reconnecting to True Self

🍂 Physical Numbness – (toes, fingertips, lips) is common, as is lack of emotional numbness experienced in the body

🍂 Self-harm – Without the distraction of daily N trauma, you may find yourself staggered by accumulated emotions of shame, self-hate, rage & terror. OR end up in another, sometimes worse, situation.
Your reaction may be to cut yourself, bang your head against a wall, hit yourself in the face…. in an attempt to relieve the emotional tsunami, or as a self-punishment

🍂 Sleeplessness – Many survivors are afraid to go to sleep because of nightmares & night terrors, experienced for a long time after ‘freedom’ from the N. It’s exhausting, overwhelming & can feel very lonely. Napping then becomes a new favorite passion, along with taking Melatonin.

At the other extreme – for some – the emotional overwhelm is dealt with by over-sleeping, 12-15 hrs at a time.

🍂 Suicidal Thoughts – While you may never act on it, many survivors use ‘creative’ scenarios of how they could kill themself, as a mental stress reliever. It’s a back-door option : “If it gets too much for me, I’ll just check out”.
HOWEVER – there are many better ways to cope ! (go to “Topics” list)

💠 ALL these symptoms can slowly be reversed or minimized with perseverance & the right kind of info & support!
😥 You were a Victim.
🥹 NOW you’re a SURVIVOR.
😀With healing you can be a WINNER.

NEXT : After-effects, #3