Ennea-Types : UNDERSTANDING THEM (Types 8, 9)


 

PREVIOUS : Ennea-Types Understanding them (6, 7)

 

Comments FROM Type 8s
〽️ I know I seem tough & strong all the time, but I’m also sensitive, just like anyone else. Even though I don’t always show it, I feel things deeply, & am empathetic

〽️ I’m straightforward, so you always know where you stand with me. You don’t need to guess how I feel, & I appreciate the same in return.

〽️ I don’t often depend on others, & taking on so much responsibility can sometimes be overwhelming. If I depend on you, it means I trust & appreciate you.

〽️ My instincts are pretty good, so I can tell if you’re being manipulative or hiding something, which tells me you’re not trustworthy.

〽️ Sometimes I don’t realize my speaking volume has increased, especially if I’m talking about something I’m really passionate about! Do not tell me to “calm down” – I am calm! My loud = excitement.

〽️ I have a really hard time with others people’s arbitrary or unspoken expectations of me or my time. If you do, I’ll probably push back.

GETTING ALONG with Type 8s
They’re about being assertive, courageous, direct, & intense.
For You :
🔅Acknowledge them but don’t flatter. 8s assume flattery is just manipulation.

🔅Be sure of your ideas & stand firm on your beliefs. 8s respect intensity, strength & a good debate. So you don’t have to be stubborn or ashamed of your point of view when you realize you’re wrong.

🔅If you want 8s to be vulnerable, you’ll need to understand & accept their protective shell. They consider being vulnerable a weakness (the 8’s core fear) so they have to feel extremely comfortable with you before “letting their hair down”.

🔅Encourage them to exercise, which will help them use up some of their excess energy.
With Them :
🔅Just because an 8 is quiet, does not mean they’re upset with you. They’ll let you know when they are, so don’t assume

🔅8s may mistake tenderness for manipulation. You can still be ‘soft’ with them, but realize it’ll take a while for it to earn you enough credit to eliminate their assumption.

✳️  ✳️  ✳️

Comments FROM Type 9s
〽️Communication is key! It’s often important for me to talk through things, but I might not always know where to start or how to open up.

〽️ If you talk over me, I’ll shut down. I’m not going to fight for my voice to be heard.

〽️Ask me questions, but give me ample time to respond. I’m a thinker: I need time to process.

〽️ When I share, don’t dismiss or interrupt my thoughts! I can add a lot of value to the conversation if you’re patient & I have the opportunity to speak.

〽️ If I speak up for someone else’s perspective, I’m not trying to play the devil’s advocate, I just want you to see their side too.

〽️ My independence is important to me: sometimes I withdraw because I need to regain my footing.

〽️I don’t mind going along with majority opinion about some decisions, but don’t take it as permission to boss me around. I don’t like to be told what to do.

GETTING ALONG with Type 9s
They’re about attachment, open-mindedness & peace
For You :
🔅 Encourage 9s to name their own wants & wishes. Their toxic belief is that it’s ‘not ok to be assertive’ – for fear of causing conflict or loss of connection.

🔅 Reassure them that you’ll love them no matter what, & admire them for voicing what’s important to them.

🔅Focus on what they do, instead of what they forget to do.

🔅Don’t interrupt them when they’re talking. It reinforces their toxic belief about being silent, & the feeling that they don’t matter. They may meander, but they will get to the point..

🔅 Give clear, direct instructions about what’s expected of them, so they know what you want them to do, & to realize the priority of a task.
With Them :
🔅 Remember that 9 can easily get distracted easily, jumping to whatever task is right in front of them. You can redirect a distracted 9 by asking them Qs.

🔅 9s need independence & alone time to realize & develop their own needs, as well as time to recharge. Don’t take that as rejection. They’ll be back.

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