Fear of Commitment – RECOVERY (Part 2)


PREVIOUS: Recovery #1

QUOTE: “It is character that gets us out of bed, commitment that moves us to action, & discipline that enables us to follow through.” Zig Ziglar, motivational speaker & author

 

COMMITMENT to something / someone is one of life’s most empowering (& liberating) experiences. It’s how we achieve, how we grow, how we learn, how we love. Commitment is driven by a passion to a person or thing. If there’s a solid & compelling enough reason for WHY we want something, we WILL find a HOW to achieve that goal.

IRONY: It’s both a freedom & a binding – but only to what we want or need. It’s one of the most worthwhile ways to use personal choice – to ‘tie’ ourselves to a person, place or thing (PPT) – for some period of time – that we work towards, have or love. Yes, commitment is love. It’s the freedom to invent our own life, by expressing our True Self.

4. CHANGING the RE-ENACTMENT (Point #3, Parts 3a & b)

COUNTERING F of POSITIVES, embracing:
a. Self-careBY getting the knowledge of how to do it, & the help to stay on track

b. LovedBY learning that love is available – from yourself & from people who are already capable. Also, love is not being taken care of someone else – totally. It can come is small doses, in unsuspected ways, & by a variety of PPT

c. Power – BY understanding  that each human being is given the right at birth to express themselves to their fullest, to benefit themselves, & so to benefit the world with their specific talents

d. VisibilityBY trying out small ways of being seen – by the right people, taking in compliments & encouragement, then expressing more & more of your True Self

e. ReceivingBY believing that you are not supposed to be able to do everything yourself, you have a right to get help, & most people like to help (except our family)

f. Success – BY accepting that you have a right to accomplish your dreams, especially any related to your personal gifts. It’s very important to also surround yourself with others who are successful in their fields

gPeacefulnessBY learning to feel the difference between the numbness of being emotionally shut down vs. the inner quiet of being comfortable & anxiety-free. This is not supposed to be all the time, just more often than not.

h. Higher Power – BY separating your understanding of God / Higher Power from the terrible, terrifying experiences with your damaged family – remembering that “God is not an alcoholic parent!”

Success Habits” comes from Life Change 90, a program of daily activities designed to instill success habit to help us work toward a more fulfilled life. Once the resistance to doing them diminishes, they can be done quickly & in small steps – so  it doesn’t have to take up a lot of time.
They represent an outline for committing to oneself, the first stage in committing to others in a safe way. To achieve our goals, along with passion, we need to ‘work smart’ by developing a practical plan, & finding appropriate & supportive environments to work in, as we dream  – while take adult actions.

STAY AWAKE
: over-view of every day’s actions
• Be clear on your main goal, consciously making it a prioritydaily
• Have specific daily goals, plans & steps to achievement
• Develop strategies to solve issues that won’t go away
• Notice: Over-all mental state+Emotions & mood shifts
• Keep track of finances & spending habits
• Be Grateful for what you DO have, & for the bad things you DON’T have
• Review events at the end of each day (10th Step), to see how you’ve benefited, what you’ve gained, & what you’ve learned

Healthy commitment is a form of visibility. To ACoAs being visible means risking abandonment, failure, jealousy & rejection.
BUT when we accept all parts of ourselves without harsh judgment, choose well, have good boundaries, know our rights & trust ourselves – we can go for the gold!

NEXT: EnneaTypes – Language #1

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