EGO STATES – Basics (Part 5)

PREVIOUS: E.S. Basics – #4


✿ 1st Order Structural ES =
represents the basic personality structure of an adult person – how we’re made up, and how we relate to others.

First POSITION = Healthy use is Self-Awareness. It’s when we’re connected to our own body, as we look, feel & hear the world from our own viewpoint. It’s the Child’s desire to discover its identity, wants & needs. “How does this conversation or communication affect ME?”

P1 – 
info “taken in” from external sources – is Second Position.
A1 – not related to a person’s age… oriented in the present, in charge of executive functioning – is Third Position
C1 – neural network (automatic “programs” stored in the implicit memory of the subconscious) – lives in First Position.

● When the Externalizer gets stuck in 1st, it operates from the Angry / Defiant Child ES, as Persecutor . The person’s thinking & feeling is highly narcissistic, “All-about-me”.

● When the Internalizer gets stuck in 1st, it operates from the Vulnerable Child ES, as Victim . The person’s thinking & feeling is highly dependent, “I’m helpless-hopeless-worthless”.
✒️    ✏️ 🖍    🖌

✿ 2nd ORDER Structural Model – deals with the core shape of our personality – what we thing & feel, not what we do or how we act. Also – describes the various ego-states, & gives info re. their origins

Second POSITION = Healthy use is Empathy.
It makes up the ideal PAC expressions in the fully developed, well-adjusted adult.
It’s extremely valuable for being able to deepen rapport with others, providing much flexibility when involved in a conflict with someone else.

At this level of consciousness, the 3 ego states make assessments logically & mostly without emotion, collecting & storing information from many different sources in the environment as well as from each ego state, working together.

“The creativity of A¹ (natural child), honed by the logic of A² (actual adult), is behind every great idea & advance of civilization” ∼ Berne. 

INTROJECTS = made up of our parents ego states that we absorb. These come from their parent-figures, and subtle changes occur each time they’re passed down to the next generation.
= Parent 3 –in– Parent 2 : all the messages from our parents & caretakers – that our P2 camcorder recorded   

A3 = Adult 3 –in– Parent 2our understanding of the ‘nature of reality’ FROM the explanations they gave us as to why their rules & commands are important + our version of what they meant

C3 = Child 3 –in– Parent 2 : any secret / covert messages we picked up from them —> at the same time as the / literal / overt messages in A3 Adult

 – The perspective & thinking in our A2 content : 
P2 = Parent-in-the-Adult is “all-about-the-child“, able to nurture & protect ‘real’ children

A2 = Adult-in-the-Adult is wise, mature, makes good decisions by consulting the other states, acting on behalf of the whole person whenever executive functions must be carried out 

C2 = Child-in-the-Adult is the ideal representation of a well-adjusted, non-wounded Child with no issues from the past

◆When the Externalizer gets stuck in 2nd, it operates from the Critical Parent as Persecutor in the Drama Triangle.

◆ When the Internalizer gets stuck in 2nd, it becomes other-centered as Rescuer. The person ‘caretakes’ a Victim from either Nurturing or Critical Parent – instead of oneself
✒️    ✏️ 🖍    🖌

✿3rd Order Structure – contains the 3 modes indicating our tendencies toward & evaluations about —> our preferences & avoidances. They’re reflexive responses to stimuli. Includes infancy – when active thinking in any meaningful way has not yet started.

Third POSITION = Healthy use is Objectivity / Detachment.
It’s the Adult Ego State‘s ability to study ourself & our relationships, adopting an independent observer role to gain a new perspective, a good way to “step out of” an emotionally intense situation

✿ P1 = Parent-in-the-child or the Adapted Child / Magical ParentThe stored fantasy about what would happen if we didn’t follow Parental messages

❀ C1 = Child-in-the-child or the Natural Child / the Infant. Stored feelings & body sensations in response to those fantasies

A1 = Adult-in-the-child or the Little Professor. Our early decisions about what to do / not do   (MORE… in Child #7)

NEGATIVE : If we get stuck in 3rd, we tend to intellectualize & analyze situations… becoming disconnected from our body & emotions, so we can seem more like robots than people (Computer Role).

 Externalizers stuck in 3rd are the Emotionally absent / Disengaged partner, typical in a codep relationship. They stay in Adult mode to distance or block out the painful emotions of their Vulnerable Childor the volatile emotions of the Angry Child.

Internalizers in a codependent relationship get stuck in the ‘Impression Management’ position or ‘What Would Other People Think’ Syndrome.
Weak boundaries make it hard to say NO. These people come mainly from the Vulnerable Child (fear of more abandonment) & so must stick to Adult mode (logic, facts) as protection.

(From “Shoot for the Moon…”  and Internet of the Mind” 

NEXT: Parent ES, Part 1

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