worry

Enneagram Type 7 – Flaws in us ALL

dmtorbi 12-step, ACoAs, al-anon, Alcoholics Anonymous, alcoholism, mental health, Personal Growth, Problem-Solving, Psychotherapy, recovery, self growth, Self-esteem, self-help , , ,

type 7

 

PREVIOUS: Type 6 flaws

IMPORTANT
Review explanation for each category in the INTRO post 
Associated Type is inside the ( )


Type 7 COWARDICE because of CDs (#6)
• re. pain: you think that all ‘pain’ is a waste of time, unnecessary & something you’re not equipped to deal with
• re. restraint: believe that freedom is the absence of any limits, & that no one has the right to restract you
• re. standing (sitting) still: see it as worthless or as an opening for a flood of despair, which you’re terrified of

Type 7 FLATTERY (#2)
• Think about a possible activity someone suggested merely because it keeps you all doing something, not because it’s a very good idea at all
• Re-frame a put-down by someone, making it seem kind & generous
• Think (often unconsciously) how to befriend authority figures with flattering attention, as a way to neutralize their potential ability to limit your freedom in any way

Type 7 LAZINESS / Indolence (#9)
You almost always seem to be energetic, but a person can be highly energetic & still be indolent
• Think about pleasure but rarely about pain, if ever
• Not notice what you physical sensations are telling you
• Re-frame potential negative information into a positive, as a way of not paying attention to what’s actually happening

patienceType 7 MOODINESS (melancholy & resulting separation) (#4)
• Wonder why, with all you joy, you don’t feel full inside
• Feel an emptiness inside you don’t know what to do about
• Think that even your mild feeling of pain or suffering are catastrophic (mainly because you’re so unused to them)

Type 7 PLANNING – as compulsion (#7)
• About positive possibilities: reacting immediately to stimuli (positive or negative), so your mind goes into a “hyper-gear” of associations, where one idea follows another in rapid-fire succession

Type 7 RESENTMENT (#1)
• If you feel restricted, think that no one has the right to do that to you
• Think negative thoughts about another when they cause you pain
• Rationalize away when having actually done something wrong, or something others may see as unacceptable or below standard

Type 7 STINGINESS (#5)
• with slowing down: Believe “down time” is boring & a waste
• with patience: Think that others are terribly slow because they can’t follow your line of thinking or mental pace
• with introspection: Don’t consider your interior world as fascinating or enjoyable as external experiences

Type 7 VANITY (#3)
• Think you’re not only quicker minded than others, but that you also catch on to new ideas better than most
• Believe that most of your ideas have merit
• See yourself as capable of enjoying life more than others do

Type 7 VENGEANCE (#8)
What sets you off is thinking someone has –
• tried to limit you
• not listened to or taken your ideas seriously
• been insincere and, therefore, can’t be trusted
• acted abusively (or is considering it) and needs to be stopped

REACTION: think about how to keep yourself & others safe from this person, which may include disarming them
GROWTH: Ask “Am I willing to deal with & stay focused on painful or difficult issues?”

ALSO
Type 7 DISTORTED LENS
Tainted color (Rosy) – looking through colored lenses makes everything seem brighter than it really is
Lesson: Everything is not nearly as rosy as we might want it to be, & just thinking / wishing doesn’t make it so!

Type 7 HANGING ON
Hold on to: being fun-loving, completely free, pleasure-oriented, & your unalterable right to avoid restrictions or painful experiences
Why: to maintain your ‘sense of self as a person who’ lives in a world where anything is possible, & there are no limits unless you create them
Let go of: the belief that freedom means having no limits

Type 7 get OFF-BALANCE by:
• anyone or anything bursting your bubble of enthusiasm
• feeling trapped or cornered in any way
• someone treating you as if you shouldn’t be taken seriouslyhole-in-soul

Type 7 MAYA (delusion)
Think that you’re forced to live forever with a deep hole inside, when in fact all you need to do is go inside – because you are there!

Type 7 WORRY
“Why do they want to bring me down? Why am I not taken as seriously as I desire? Are they trying to trap me? How can I fill that empty hole inside me? Why don’t I seem to feel as deeply as others when I do feel deeply about some things?”

NEXT: All flaws – Type 8

Enneagram Type 3 – Flaws in us ALL

dmtorbi 12-step, ACoAs, al-anon, Alcoholics Anonymous, alcoholism, mental health, Psychotherapy, recovery, self growth, self-help , , , ,

Screen Shot 2015-08-25 at 1.16.26 AM

 

PREVIOUS: Type 2 flaws

IMPORTANT
Review explanation for each category
in the INTRO post 
Associated Type inside the ( )

 

Type 3 COWARDICE because of CDs (#6)
• re. failure: think that failure is simply not allowed in you vocabulary, or is something you’ve never experienced first-hand
• re. being unmasked: worry, often unconsciously, that you’ll be found out to be a fraud in some way
• re. intimacy: think you can’t get too close to others emotionally, because it would make you too vulnerable, be less able to function/ achieve, or reveal your inadequacy in this area

Type 3 FLATTERY (#2)
• think about how to create a positive impression in another’s eyes – by pretending to be more interested in the others than you actually are
• think through how to engage famous or important people, so that some of their celebrity rubs off on you
• never share your real thoughts about another person – especially negative ones – so you won’t ruin your image or your relationship

Type 3 LAZINESS / Indolence (#9)
You’re often thought of as very focused (or over-focused), but many 3s use their Arrow Line to Nine as a break from stress. YOU:
• don’t want to think about anything serious, so get into relaxing routines (soc-med, jogging, food…), more as a way to not pay attention to yourself
• believe that emotions are a distraction from work, then escape into activity that will avoid them
• don’t reflect on who you really are. Instead, see yourselfshare success? as the persona you’ve created

Type 3 MOODINESS (melancholy & resulting separation) (#4)
• Think of yourself as a fake who pretends to be something you’re not (or not fully) & eventually will get ‘caught’
• Believe you’re totally without value when something you’ve tried to do doesn’t work
• think you’re completely adrift & a nobody when you have no goals or plans

Type 3 PLANNING – as compulsion (#7)
Plan how to achieve a specific goal you’ve set for yourself, how to get from point A to point B as efficiently & effectively as possible

Type 3 RESENTMENT (#1)
• Obsess about why someone disrespected you for your abilities, then treat them in a way that shows a lack of respect
• Obsess about how someone in authority changed the rules of the game on you in mid-stream
• Can’t understand why other team members are so incompetent or show such a lack of commitment to your joint activity

Type 3 STINGINESS (#5)
• with time: think yours is more valuable than that of others
• with sharing success: Believe you must compete with others to be successful and win, or else you’ve failed
• with sharing certain information about yourself: think that opening up would make you seem less confident or not accomplished

Type 3 VANITY (#3)
• Decide, consciously or unconsciously, to delete information about yourself that would make you look bad
 to yourself & to others
• Think you can accomplish just about anything you set your mind to
• Believe you’re the image of success which you’ve created – confusing your Real Self with that image

Type 3 VENGEANCE (#8)
What sets you off is thinking someone :
• has made you look bad or sabotaged you
• blamed you for a problem that was not you responsibility
• taken credit for your work

REACTION: dismiss the person as a ‘loser’ & think of ways to ignore them
GROWTH: Be willing to disclose information that may not make you look good or may not conform with my ‘public’ image – IF safe or appropriate

ALSO
Type 3 DISTORTED LENS
Narrow focus : embellish reality by assuming your accomplishments & qualities are better than you imagine them to be
Lesson: ‘Blinders’ on any part of your vision can make you miss the most important elements of a situation

Type 3 HANGING ON (need to let go)
Hold on to:
• under-expressed sadness, anxiety, anger
• being competent, resourceful, goal-driven, effective, successful, confident

Why: to keep your ‘sense of self as the person who’ can accomplish whatever you want by being goal orientated, & intensely focus
Let go of: the belief you must follow societal (or your social-referent group) standards of success to feel good about yourself

Type 3 put OFF-BALANCE by:
• having goals changed on you by an outside factor or individufalse freedomal
• not knowing what you want to do
• being ‘forced’ to discuss strong emotional reactions in depth

Type 3 MAYA (delusion)
Doing what you think you want is actually doing what you think you should want, & not understanding the difference between them

Type 3 WORRY
“What if I can’t really do this? What if I don’t live up to expectations? How do I know what I really want (rather than what I think I should want)? Will I get found out?”

NEXT: All Flaws – Type 4

Enneagram Flaws in us ALL – INTRO

dmtorbi 12-step, ACoAs, al-anon, Alcoholics Anonymous, alcoholism, mental health, Personal Growth, Problem-Solving, Psychotherapy, recovery, self growth, self-help , , , , , ,

sisyphus  PREVIOUS:
Ennea-Language = Growth (each type)

 

 

EXPLANATIONS
Ginger Lapid-Bogda (Enneagram author, trainer, keynote speaker) on her site “The Enneagram in Business”, provides a variety of ways to understand how each Type handles the many positive & negative aspects of being human.

🤔 This series of posts includes the way each Type exhibits each of the Fixations (Habits of Mind) normally associated with only one of the Enneagram styles – each in our own specific way.

◆ Included are the 3 Instinct sub-types of Self-preservation, Sexual & Social groupings (Def. & QUIZ) which effect the strength & style of how each Type expresses each of their fixations
NOTE: Virtues / Gifts for each Type in 2024

DEFINITIONS – basic for each characteristic flaw
◼︎ Cowardice – typically associated with SIXES. It’s the fear of taking actions, from doubt & worry caused by continual thoughts of worst-case scenarios. It’s found more strongly in the Self-Preservation version of any Type who is more concerned with safety, security, & least trusting / most wary.

◼︎ Flattery – typically associated with TWOS, because they’re trying to be accepted by a specific person or group. 2s manipulate by giving others compliments, gifts or other forms of attention

◼︎ Laziness / Indolence = avoidance of activity or exertion, typically associated with NINES. It’s the process of mentally diffusing their attention so they forget what’s important, & keeping them from stating their own opinions, in order to minimize conflict with others

◼︎ Moodiness / Melancholy: typically associated with FOURS. It’s thinking about what’s missing in oneself or one’s life, along with feeling disconnected or separate from others

◼︎ Planning – typically associated with SEVENS. It refers to the mental process by which the mind goes into “hyper-gear,“ moving in rapid succession from one thing to another, without peaceful consideration, ignoring consequences

◼︎ Resentment – typically associated with ONES. It’s paying attention to flaws in oneself & others, so that nothing ever seems good or good enough

◼︎ Stinginess – typically associated with FIVES. It’s a scarcity paradigm that leads to an insatiable thirst for ‘knowing’, and a reluctance to share – info, time, space & personal information. Often strategize about how to control their environment

■ Vanity – typically associated with THREES. It’s strategic thinking / planning about how to create an idealized image, being self-absorbed about how they seem to others

■ Vengeance – typically associated with EIGHTS. It’s the mental process of wanting to balance out wrongs done to themself (real or imagined), with angry thoughts of blame, & plans for intimidation & punishment

ALSO:
■ Distorted Lens – difficulty listening to & accepting many points of view, or being able to objectively evaluate different aspects of a problem or situation, when colored by the focus of your Type’s specific version of the world

■ Hanging on – to anything that keeps us stuck, so that energy can’t flow through us. It skews perspective & limits options, which can lead to disappointment

■ Off-Balance – whenever we can’t see people & situations in perspective, OR without a fixed point of reference in life, adding more distortion to our specific Type

■ Maya (illusion/ delusion) – when positive it can mean the “power by which the universe is manifest”, BUT used here to mean the appearance of or illusions in the physical world.
Illusion (Maya) = unreal vision // Delusion = false belief

■ Worry – mental obsession on past distressing actions / events, OR projecting negative outcomes into the future – to the point of dulling our awareness to real danger in the present.
Habitual, unconscious worry blocks us from direct contact with something greater than ourself (H.P.) & limits our ability to be whole.

NEXT: All type FLAWS – Type 1