I KNOW WHO I AM
& it’s OK to not be perfect
PREVIOUS: Being Confident, Part 3
SITE: “Line of confidence” chart, to help businesses & families
QUOTES: “The more you love your decisions, the less you need other to love them too.” Anon
“I am not what has happened to me. I am what I choose to become.” Carl Jung
REMINDER: Do NOT let yourself get overwhelmed by this 6-part list. It’s meant to be a guide, qualities to work towards. Looking at the cup half full – or more – notice & then acknowledge when you have expressed a little of any one of these in your daily life. Then give yourself a pat on the back, & remind your Inner Child of your progress!
CONFIDENT People (cont):
• like to learn, & try new things. They’re eager to find out about a verity of cultures, ideas, locations & ways of doing things. With an open mind, they gather wide knowledge, as well as have strong personal opinions about things that are important to them. They’re genuinely interested in what others think, & listen attentively. They know a lot, but realize there’s always more to learn. Trying new things encourages personal growth & opportunities to connect with others
• listen much more than they speak. One study found that over 80% of confident people don’t talk randomly, nor a great deal. In most cases they’d rather listen, but when it’s their turn, they talk easily & boldly.
While they’re comfortable expressing themselves, they know when to be quiet. Because they’re not driven by deep anxiety, they can let others shine – or be wrong – without jumping in
☼ They’re not shy about sharing their knowledge, but don’t need to show off or preach. They already know what they think, so want to know where others are coming from.
They understand that most people like to talk about themselves, so it’s OK to give others the opportunity. They tend to ask open-ended questions that gives someone a chance to be introspective & to be ‘seen’, such as: “What do you do, how do you do it, what do you like about it, what have you learned from it…. ?”
• are driven to improve themselves. They take the time to be introspective, evaluate their actions, own weaknesses, process any leftover childhood damage, & always look to the future.
They relish searching for & finding out how things work, what they can do to improve themself & their performance – in all area of life – willing to outgrow bad habits that hinder their progress
• are supportive, but don’t interfere. They put other people at ease, giving them honest support & encouragement when called for. They see the positive qualities in others, & let others know what they admire – without jealousy or bitterness – creating long-lasting healthy relationships.
AND, they stay out of people’s way when they can’t be of help or are not needed, instead of having to put their two cents in
• don’t mind making mistakes. They can admit in any circumstance that they don’t have all the answers. Not worried about being wrong, they can graciously accept & admit it when they are. They bounce back from errors, using it as an opportunity to learn about what’s correct or what works best.
Even the most confident people have some insecurities. They’ve learned that life is full of ups & downs, & that feeling insecure may depend on where they are, who they’re with, their health, good or bad events…. but it doesn’t last.
• recognize mistakes & setbacks are learning opportunities. They don’t berate themselves for errors in action or judgment, realizing that every mistake is an opportunity to find out more about their likes & dislikes, who other people are, what’s possible or not in the world. They just figure out ways to be more successful next time. Seeing errors or setbacks in this way shifts ones thinking, creating more confidence (reframing).
NEXT: Confident People (Part 5)