recovery

Myers-Briggs INTRO – charts (Part 1b)

dmtorbi 12-step, ACoAs, al-anon, Alcoholics Anonymous, alcoholism, Personal Growth, recovery


PREVIOUS: MBTI Intro #1a

SITEs : INFJoe Cartoons

• Each TYPE’s Striving Style 
• What makes an extrovert?

REMINDER: When people consistently differ from each other in how they see & interact with the world (different MBTI types), it’s only reasonable that they’ll differ in their interests, reactions, values, motivations & skills.

Our TYPE is Innate, Observable
• It can be Influenced
• It is not a box, not an excuse
• It indicates Preferences, Not skills
• It is a life-long Journey
🌈
Detecting  PREFERENCES
Level 1
E = ‘I have to experience life to understand it’
Work: Stop by to see me. Communication: Talk it out
I = ‘I have to understand life to experience it’
Work: Do not disturb. Communication: Thinking it thru
«

Level 2
S = ‘I need to work thru a problem to see a result’
Fun: This was great for the price. Communication: Specifics
N = ‘I see results/solutions to problems at the beginning’
Fun: This just gave me a great new idea! Communication: Big picture
«

Level 3
T = ‘I can be insensitive’.  Work : She has good credentials. 
Communication: Logical implication
F = ‘I can be too sensitive’. Boss re. candidate: I like him. 
Communication: Impact on people
«

Level 4
J = ‘I run my life.  Work: Glad this is done’
Communication: Joy of closure
P = ‘I live my life’. Work: I have plenty of time
Communication: Joy of process
«

«
⬆ From SLIDE SHOW
👨🏻‍🏫   re. WORK — The middle two letters of our specific type are the best predictor of career choice. (ST, SF, NT, NF )
When we’re in the wrong job for our type the job is harder to do, & makes us feel like a failure. Being in the appropriate job/career guarantees success, even when there are things we may not like about it, or if it takes time & effort to ‘get it right’! (More….)
NUANCES (facets)
TEST : The official MBTI typing instrument is made up of 93 questions. It provides the test-taker with the 4-letter code we’re most familiar with (ISFP, ENFJ….), which stays with us throughout life.
It also identifies where we fall on a continuum of 20 sets of nuances ⬇️, 5 per preference. Using our specific facets puts us in a mid-zone within our type, & allows us to say that — how we act depends on the situation!

EXP: We’re not all typical : some Thinkers are wired to respond with some aspects of Feeling in special circumstances. Some Judgers can be casual when feeling safe (as a P), some Introverts will be gregarious in certain situations (as an E). ….
➤ These possibilities don’t show up in short-form questionnaires

The following CHARTS identify the 40 possible aspects that make up all expressions of personality type, including the out-of-preference/ atypical ones.
Each of us is a unique mixture of our Type’s 20 nuances. It all comes down to brain plumbing.  (more re. Brain in future posts). So, an ESTJ would have 5 Extrovert, 5 Sensate, 5 Thinking & 5 Judging possibilities
EXP:
• You may identify as an Introvert (I), your innate preference, which includes facets normally seen in Is, & some that are outside your type. This means an Introvert could have 4 (I) nuances & 1 usually preferred by Es.

CAVEAT: Popular on-line tests are weak or useless because they condense the # of Qs from the official / correct questionnaire, & also change some of the wording. This leads to homogenizing the outcome. Some people will fit the ‘box’ built into these tests, while others will be slightly off from their pre-set ‘norm’, making the conclusions unreliable. The missing “extra” Qs in the original/ official test, which may seem repetitious, are needed to capture those important nuances of personality type & cognitive function.

ORIENTATION Nuances

COGNITIVE Nuances

  «
MBTE types & D.I.S.C. (Dominance, Influence, Steadiness, Conscientiousness)

 

 

«
NEXT : MBTI INTRO – 2a

Myers-Briggs INTRO (Part 1a)

dmtorbi 12-step, ACoAs, al-anon, Alcoholics Anonymous, alcoholism, Personal Growth, Psychotherapy, recovery

I‘VE ALWAYS WONDERED why I do things!

PREVIOUS: Psychological Disorders #6

SITEs: M-B: Does it pay to know your type? (includes some MBTI history)
• The Dynamic Basis for Type 

ORIGIN: MBTI is a personality inventory used by psychologists, as well as a tool for self-discovery, made up of 4 dichotomies (8 opposing functions). In yr. 2000, an estimated two million people took the test, making it the most frequently used inventory available. First introduced in 1942, it was the work of mother & daughter Katharine C. Myers Briggs and Isabel Briggs.

It’s based on Carl Jung’s theory of types, outlined in his 1921 work Psychological Types, which said that human behavior follows from an inborn Extroverted (E) or Introverted (I) way of being energized & of interacting with the world. This became the 1st level. (MBTI History….)

*** Jung also identified 2 basic functions of Consciousness
💚 Perceiving: Making decisions – either by Thinking or Feeling (T/F).

👁 Judging: Absorbing info – either by Sensing or Intuition (S/N)

S-N & T-F became levels 2 & 3, which are the core of typing. (MORE….)

Is was Isobel Myers who later listed Judging & Perceiving as separate components, giving us the 4th level. Each preferred function is expressed consciously (T over F, E over I….), while its less desired opposite shows up as behaviors driven by repressed, unconscious parts of our personality (as character defects?) (MORE… )

TOO SIMPLE? At first glance, only looking at the 4 opposite categories (which are on a broad continuum), the MBTI may seem simplistic. BUT – there are many nuances derived from various sets of connections, yielding a valuable range of deeper & more detailed personality insights.

• PREFERENCES: Our ‘mental process’ comes from using MBTI’s 2 middle levels (S-N, T-F), to identify each type’s preferences, from most to least, which form Stacks. The strongest one has the most powerful influence on our personality growth. If allowed to develop naturally, we come to trust this favored style, the Dominant (ENFJ = Extroverted Feeling), & our second most preferred one becomes the Auxiliary (ENFJ = Introverted Thinking).  (More in future posts)

Type falsification: However, too often family, school & culture won’t let us develop on a natural path. EXP: A child who easily prefers the T function will try to make logical, objective decisions, but is made to feel guilty by an F-oriented family for not focusing enough on group harmony & other Feeler values.

So this child grows up devaluing their preferred dominant &/or auxiliary functions, having been pushed to develop other less-natural ones instead. Gradually they’ll ignore & then suppress the ability to trust their inborn decision-making process (T), or not notice & use important T info that could give them throughout life.

This CHART shows how Jung’s Psyche components generate the 4 functions – from a fascinating article of a Jungian analysis of Shakespeare’s ‘Macbeth’, which includes the False Self, a lack of S & I, the Shadow…..

JUNGIAN definitions
🔇 Introversion – A focus of the ego /conscious Self on ones internal world, which includes the collective unconscious & its archetypes. An orientation to life via “subjective psychic content”.

NOT isolators, not intrinsically shy or withdrawn, Is are however more comfortable living within the ‘limits’ of their inner world of thoughts, feelings, fantasies & dreams. They don’t like crowds, noise & hub-hub, but can be very talkative & sociable on a one-to-one basis.

📣 Extraversion – A concentration of interest in external objects – whereby the ego/overall personality is mainly concerned with gaining enjoyment & satisfaction from what is outside the Self. Es greatly enjoy human interactions – being assertive, enthusiastic, gregarious & talkative.

NOT : automatically socially adept, easy with everyone or know what to say in very situation. Wounded extroverts are likely to sit on the sidelines & wait to be approached, or hide behind work, activities & authority roles.

🌓 🌗 AMBIVERT – for those of us who straddle the Type fence of choices .  Also see: “The Ambivert advantage”

👂🏾 If you want to know what an Extrovert is thinking, just listen.
👄 If you want to know what an Introvert is thinking, you have to ask them.
Read EXPLANATIONS ⬆

NEXT: M-B Intro #1b

Mental Health DON’Ts – Emotional (Part 1b)

dmtorbi 12-step, ACoAs, al-anon, Alcoholics Anonymous, alcoholism, mental health, Psychotherapy, recovery, self growth, self-help , , , , , ,

Screen Shot 2016-07-03 at 1.37.13 AM
MENTAL HEALTH
is easy – and fun!



PREVIOUS: EHP – Part 1a


SITE: Physiology and Biology of Mental Toughness

 

REMINDER: To be Mentally/ Emotionally well we need to develop the Healthy Adult & Loving Parent (UNIT). What the “Don’ts” represent are characteristics of our damage, run by our WIC (Damaged Child) & PP  (Introject) – but can be corrected.
Understanding the specifics of our childhood traumas helps to accept the reality that we can’t ‘Just do it’ or ‘Just let go’. All of Recovery is a process – for everyone.
ALSO, each of us will have our own specific issues that are definitely more deeply ingrained than others & will therefore take longer to heal. Some will never go away, but can be greatly diminished, & we can learn to manage them whenever they do surface.

EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY People (EHP):
🔸EHP Don’t thrive on chaos
Successful people simplify life. They know that having as much order as possible in all parts of their life allows then to accomplish their goals, & not have to waste time looking for things or dealing with emotional drama.happy/sad

🔸EHP Don’t try to be happy all the time
One of the coping mechanisms for ACoA is the try to be ‘UP’ or ‘positive’ all the time. This usually applies to the Hero (Toxic Role) or the “Good girl/boy” false persona. This is as unrealistic as being miserable all the time. It’s just another way to deny having a wide range of emotions. For every ACoA, no matter our style, our underlying emotion is fear/terror. So we try to feel safe before we can truly be happy.

No one is happy all the time. Feeling peaceful & content – a day at a time – does not mean having no complaints, dislikes or distress. EHP don’t try to avoid painful emotions but incorporate them in an effort to be whole, to honor their True Self. They know that happiness, victory & fulfillment are a wonderful, valuable part of life, but not the whole story.

EHP learn from their ‘mistakes’ & correct distorted thinking, so avoid repeating harmful patterns. This may include making amends to others (AA’s 8th & 9th Steps) & forgiving themselves for ignorant or stubborn adherence to their Toxic Rules, so they no longer have to obsess about what happened in the past.
EHP know this takes time & need patience & perseverance to always be moving forward, no matter how slowly. One 12-Step slogan says: “Look back but don’t starelive in the present”.
Some benefits from thinking about the past can be: identifying the lessons, considering facts not just emotions, & looking at PPT from a new perspective.

🔸EHP Don’t violate / sacrifice personal values
Each of us have more than one value system – what we were taught by our family, by our religion, our early social environment, AND what we develop in ourselves from our Core Truth. Some of these may overlap, some may not. The problem for ACoAs is that we are either not allowed to find out what we truly believe, or more often have been so brainwashed by our toxic upbringing that we’re not allowed to live according to our personal beliefs even if we know what they are. (Core Values lists)

EHP have figured out what they consider important – even essential – to their identity, for themselves & in relation to the rest of the world. A value is a belief, a mission, or a philosophy that is meaningful but not always conscious – as many are taken for granted. They know that their personal Core Values are not automatically the same as that of other people or institutions, & they don’t try to impose them on others.

They do NOT value the impossible, like perfectionism, eternal human love, fairness…. They know everyone falls short sometimes, so they get back on the horse when they don’t live up to their ideals, & are also patient & forgiving to others when they also fall short.

NEXT: MENTAL health Don’ts, 1c

Mental Health DON’Ts – Emotional (Part 1a)

dmtorbi 12-step, ACoAs, al-anon, Alcoholics Anonymous, alcoholism, mental health, Psychotherapy, recovery, self growth, self-help , , , ,

live wellLIVING WELL
is the best revenge!

PREVIOUS: Psych Disorders #6

SITE: 10 Things (physically) Healthy People do differently

SOURCE: Composite of many lists, including Amy Morin’s “13 things Mentally Strong people Don’t Do.” – about being in charge of our thoughts, emotions & actions (T.E.A.)


EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY People (EHP):

🔸EHP Don’t Avoid Alone-Time
Many ACoAs are addicted to relationships & to staying busy, no matter how unsatisfying or damaging. They always need to be with or around someone, rescuing others or creating chaos, running away from themselves or desperate to hang on. They never seem to slow down enough to feel emotions, evaluate their motives or stop self-defeating behaviors.

ACoAs in Recovery often say they don’t know what to do with unstructured hours – because it’s for just themself. They feel depressed, too lonely, can’t decide what to do, aren’t allowed to have fun or relax….. wasting precious time on weekends or holidays, & then go back to their rat-race. Even those of us who are highly accomplished & talented are motivated by fear, rather than self-esteem.

But EHP treasure time by themself – to reflect, plan ahead, have alone timefun, be creative, do something not related to their work-life, OR just rest! And there are times when it’s truly necessary to pull back in order to allow internal healing, but it’s not endless.

EHP don’t need others to give them a direction or make them feel OK. They can be happy with others, but also happy alone. They’re comfortable with their thoughts & emotions, & when stressed they know how to comfort themself. They know that changing their routine or ‘vegging’ is crucial to mental & physical health. They know that play is part of a well-balanced life, so don’t need to be constantly ‘producing’ something to validate their existence.

🔸EHP Don’t Feel Pessimistic
ACoAs are more likely to see themself (S-H), others & the world from a negative point of view (hopelessness & some paranoia). The adults we grew up with either ignored us or were judgmental of everyone & everything, so we took on the same perspective. This means ignoring all the positive things available in life, including the good things that we have experienced.

EHP generally feel optimistic about their life & their future, without ignoring stresses or hoping for magic outcomes. They don’t let temporary difficulties or unimportant annoyances get them down – at least not for long. They know that obstacles are part of life, so they make an effort to solve whatever they can, & accept what they can’t change (Serenity  Prayer – backwards??).feel positive
They don’t focus on their weaknesses – while still acknowledging them. No one can be perfect, so they don’t waste time trying. Instead, they continue working on improving themselves rather than feeling defeated.

🔸EHP Don’t Feel Sorry for Themself
There’s a difference between feeling sorry for ourselves & healthy compassion for all we’ve been thru. The Victim’s outlook is that they can’t function because of being abused. While their childhood trauma was real, as adults they refuse to work on healing those wounds, which would improve their present & future. Their ‘position’ is that as long as they’re ‘incapacitated’ someone else will have to take care of them. If no one does, they stay helpless & depressed.

🔸EHP compassionately acknowledge past distress, while fully accepting the unfair & painful truth that they’re responsible for cleaning up the PMES mess their unhealthy family passed on.  compassionThey’re able to emerge from stressful circumstances with self-awareness & self-respect, even appreciating the lessons they’ve learned. When things don’t go well in the present, they find realistic ways to manage, get the support they need, & believe in their worth – no matter what.

They ALSO know it’s OK to feel sorry for oneself briefly from time to time, especially after an event that’s out of their control. It’s important to lick their wounds to regroup & regain strength, before moving on. EHP have gratitude for their positive qualities & the good thing they already have.

NEXT: EHP – Part 1b

Psychological DISORDERS – Psychotic (Part 6)

dmtorbi 12-step, ACoAs, al-anon, Alcoholics Anonymous, alcoholism, recovery, self-care, Self-esteem

I CAN’T TELL
what’s real any more!

PREVIOUS: Disorders 5c

SITE: 12 types of psychosis

 

3. PERSONALITY DISORDERS
4. SOCIOPATHS & PSYCHOPATHS

5. PSYCHOTIC
Psychosis is a severe mental illness caused by a combination of inherited genes, & things a person has experienced or been exposed to in life (traumatic birth, poison, diseases of the nervous system such as epilepsy & Parkinson’s, syphilis, drug use, severe social changes/ traumatic events…..)

It’s a group of extreme disorders expressed in abnormal thinking & perception – a gradual inability to distinguish oneself from one’s surroundings, ie. losing touch with reality. Psychological defenses become overloaded by stress & the sufferer breaks down, making it hard to separate their thoughts & experiences from what’s going on outside of themself. The most common form is Schizophrenia. (See site above)

Psychosis may or may not be a part of other mental illnesses as well, such as Bipolar, suddenly after a major stress, post-partum depression (about 1 in every 1,000 mothers, within a few weeks after giving birth), when using or withdrawing from drugs….

People in the grip of psychotic disorders experience themselves & the world very differently from psychopaths & sociopaths, who are usually very grounded in reality, understand what they’re doing & the consequences of their actions, but just don’t care.
EXP: A psychopath or a sociopath might kill someone’s dog because they want to cause emotional trauma to the owner
• A psychotic might kill the dog because they thought it was robot sent to take over the world

While it’s not so easy for a person with a psychotic disorder to recognizing their own symptoms, they are acutely aware of experiencing pain & fear, which may cause the person to hurt themself or others. It can be a one-time ‘break’, episodic, or long-term.
As of 2023, around 3% of the people of the United States experience at least one psychotic episode during their lives, mostly teenagers & young adults  (about 100,000 every year)

Disordered thinking
• Delusions – fixed beliefs & ideas that are usually false, including religious or persecutory, or a false belief of superiority.
EXP: convinced someone’s plotting against them, that the TV is sending secret messages, seeing a ‘spiritual’ entity, being watched by the police because of the way cars are parked outside the house…..
• Thoughts are confused, blurred or difficult to express, can seem to speed up or slow down, or a belief that thoughts aren’t their own. They have memory loss or amnesia, trouble concentrating, following a conversation

• Speech is often rapid & frenzied, slurred or jumbled (word-salad)
• Suspiciousness – being worried or even scared of everyone they know, including family & friends. Feel uneasy without knowing why
• Superstition – belief in the unreal includes: confusion about dreams, thinking that others can read their mind, frequently experiencing déjà vu, thinking that small random events have meaningful connections, & often come up with far-fetched theories about why things happen

Disordered behavior
• Physical – disorganized or compulsive behavior, repetitive movements, self-harming, slow movement in activity, or lack of restraint
• Reactions can be infantile, prone to insults & swearing. They forget self-care such personal hygiene & housework, will be disoriented
• Social impairment – isolated, trouble with social situations, don’t conform to behavioral standards or respond correctly to social cues

Exaggerated /unreal experiences
• Hallucinations – false perceptions, affecting the 5 senses, experience more intensely what’s real.  Hear, see, feel something that’s not there, which can cause fear & paranoia
EXP: Interpret everyday sounds as having new or special meaning, hear something louder than it actually is, shadows are seen as human figures…..

• Hypochondria – an irrational / exaggerated fear of having or getting a disease or illness, causing them health-related anxiety, constantly looking for symptoms, or anything that might harm their health.

Mood changes
 • Emotions – general discontent, lack of normal emotional responses, loss of interest or pleasure in activities. Tendency to be irritable & aggressive, including anger, anxiety, apathy, feeling detached from self,  inappropriate emotional responses such as easily agitated when being talked to

• Shifts in mood often throughout the day, in 2 phases: a manic period (high), feeling happy & energized — followed by low mood, feeling sad & dull, with loss of appetite or trouble sleeping.

NEXT : Myers-Briggs – INTRO

Psychological DISORDERS – Psychopathy (Part 5c)

dmtorbi 12-step, ACoAs, al-anon, Alcoholics Anonymous, alcoholism, Personal Growth, recovery

IT’S IMPERATIVE
I know what to look for!

PREVIOUS: Personality Disorders (Part 1)

SITE:  “Grey rocking – if you can’t go No-Contact” (re. NPDs)
* “Grey rock method of dealing with a Psychopath”

 

4. SOCIOPATHS & PSYCHOPATHS (cont)

4b. PSYCHOPATHS (cont)
(PS) ORIGIN: Psychopathy is generally considered a combination of genetic & chemical imbalances. Scans of PS brain show the section responsible for impulse control & emotions (compassion & remorse) is not developed.  So they lack the proper neurological framework to form a sense of ethics and morality.

PSs are born with cortical under-arousal, with temperament characteristics such as impulsiveness & fearlessness, leading to a lot of risky activities.
Also, they don’t ‘get’ (internalize) social standards of behavior, making it impossible to function appropriately. They’re just as likely to hurt their family & friends as they are strangers (MORE….)
IMP: PSs are not ‘insane’, as in losing touch with reality, like in psychosis

(PS) EMOTIONS
IMAGEs, side view —->  In the extreme, Cluster B  PD people suffer from a brain anomaly dramatically minimizing their clear-thinking ability & stunting the core personality. The anomaly is called Cave of septum pellucidum, causing the meso-temporal lobe to be diminished or starved. This scan shows reduced amounts of ‘grey areas’ in the prefrontal cortex & temporal poles, areas that normally play a vital role in expressing emotions & governing moral behavior.
<—- Top view : Affected people are not capable of awareness of consequences, guilt, genuine self-worth, self-consciousness, introspection … nor attachment to, empathy with, concern for, or even ‘like’ – much less genuine feelings of love – for anyone. Other people have no meaning for the PS except to be used for personal gain. And without a conscience, there’s nothing internal to stop them from doing horrendous things to others, & believing that it’s ok. (VIDEO of child psychopath)

(PS) SOCIAL
FROM ‘Ms No world Order‘ website: “They can be found in every culture, race & socio-economic levels. They thrive in a collective environment, & are common at the top of most power structures – corporate, government & religious. (Careers that attract PS ➡️ )

Psychopaths are manipulative & can easily gain people’s trust because they’ve learned to mimic emotion, & so appear “normal” to the unwary. They’re often educated & hold steady jobs. Some are so good at faking & conning that they can have families & other long-term relationships without those around them ever suspecting their true nature. (Dexter)

These are the people we most associate with aggressive, perverted, criminal, or amoral behavior, without empathy or remorse. They’re angry & deeply abnormal (unhealthy), who need to have control over others & cannot nor want to sense other people’s feelings, getting high off of their anti-social actions.(MORE….) CATEGORIES
1. Distempered PS
Primary:  violent predators, don’t respond to punishment
Secondary: risk-takers, are violent, but fear getting caught
2. Charismatic PS
Primary : can live the ‘big lie’
Secondary : can tell the ‘small lie’ & live with it

TYPES
• Abrasive – like to be different, can’t be trusted, will insult… to win an argument, always proud when they come out on top. They have no remorse – even for the greatest cruelty
• Explosive – immediate & frequent access to their rage – taking it out on whoever is available. They can erupt unpredictably, & are savage when loosing control, taking down a victim before the person knows what just happened.

• Malignant – driven by paranoia, but change their beliefs & pt. of view depending on how much they ‘like’ someone. Unlike other PSs, their methods are ineffective & backfire on themself. They’re been the victim of terrible abuse from others & so are terrified of everyone, which creates elaborate & horrendous revenge fantasies, which they obsess over but don’t do

• Malevolent – cold-blooded & ruthless, paranoid &/or sadistic, they’re much more controlled than the Explosives. They’re terrified to feel positive emotion which they think will make them weak. AND they’re convinced that the purpose of tender emotions in others (love, kindness, sympathy…. ) are only expressed in order to manipulate the PS, another reason to hate feelings.
They love power & get off on mistreating others. If they don’t get what they want they’ll react with arrogance, contempt & cruelty, so this category includes many murderers & serial killers.

• Tyrannical – cool, cunning & inherently violent, they’re turned on by the vulnerability of others. They’ll only target people to prey on who they sense will capitulate, & avoid resisters. Their victims must totally submit or join the PS as the weaker ‘partner’, delighting in their victim’s humiliation & intimidation. They relish the suffering of others, often keeping a token to relive an abusive experience.
Modified FROM Quantumcast – video

 

 NEXT: Personality Disorders (Part 3)

Psychological DISORDERS – Psychopathy (Part 5b)

dmtorbi 12-step, ACoAs, al-anon, Alcoholics Anonymous, alcoholism, recovery, Self-esteem

I HAVE TO STAY AWAY
from the ones who don’t care

PREVIOUS: Disorders #5a

SITEs: “Confessions of a Sociopath…..”

• When a Christian meets a Sociopath
(excellent info for anyone spiritually oriented, no matter of what ‘faith’)


3. PERSONALITY DISORDERS

4a. SOCIOPATHS (Ss) (cont.)
(S) GENERAL
• an excellent story-teller, presenting self as the hero with high standards
• can easily manipulate good-hearted but unwary people into feeling sorry for them / worried & afraid / guilty / confused / ‘crazy’
• easily bored & needs constant stimulation
• fun, entertaining, super polite when meeting people
• gives the impression everyone owes them (you)

• has several short-term relationships or marriages
• impulsive, irresponsible, sexually promiscuous
• is a user, taking a lot from & giving back very little
• lacks realistic long-term goals, always scheming but often failing
• never takes responsibility, & turns the blame back on others 
• takes advantage of kindness & empathy, never apologizes
AND : sometimes you suspect they don’t really care about you!

SITEs: “S. def & signs” // “4 Phrases S. use to kill your confidence

(S) EMOTIONALLY
• are volatile – prone to emotional outbursts, including fits of rage
• can be too anxious, leading some to isolate themself
• can feel some caring & guilt, but aren’t strong enough to prevent their impulsivity & erratic behavior (unreliable)
Many writers say that Ss can’t make emotional connections at all, & this is true to some extent, but is usually when Ss& PSs are lumped together. Ss do not have respect for society in general, & won’t feel guilty when harming a stranger or breaking the law in any form.

However, some Ss can become attached & develop loyalty to a like-minded person or group (mentor, gang, parent they’re symbiotic with – no matter how abusive….), so the S. may feel remorse if they do something to hurt those special ones.

(S) SOCIALLY
Sociopaths’ disturbing traits may have been visible from childhood in acts of cruelty to animals, property or people. They make up about 4% of the world’s population – individuals who ruin lives, causing extreme emotional trauma – simply because they don’t care. They disrupt relationships, creating emotional & financial crises. At worst they perpetrate vandalism, theft, rape or murder.

Sociopaths know exactly what they’re doing & know the difference between right & wrong – technically – but can’t judge the morality of a situation because their inner ‘compass’ is so skewed. They’re social predators who exploit just about everyone they deal with, altho’ most never kill anyone. They have no heart, no conscience & no remorse. Even tho’ their attitude toward others is not necessarily malicious, the outcome of they behavior is, since they treat people as objects.

The very clever ones make great con-men & women, able to act sincere in ways that fool others into believing they both have the same values. Instead, they’re conniving, deceitful, often pathological liars, despite seeming trustworthy & sincere. Without empathy, they take no responsibility for their actions, & can easily turn the tables, without guilt or shame, accusing the other person for causing their own misery.

They are great actors who can mimic emotion & empathy, masters at superficial pleasantness & manipulation – but instinctively rule by fear, at home or at work. This is why they can be so successful in their career – it helps to look the part while not really caring about other people’s feelings. Alternating between being charming & terrorizing, family or work staff are too intimidated to point out their abusiveness or to stand up to them. It’s theorized that the top of the corporate food chain has a higher than average number of sociopathy than in the general population. (MORE…..)

Since sociopaths (& psychopaths) are absolutely sure there’s nothing wrong with them, they are not ‘curable’ – so it’s a waste of time to try. The only option in dealing with them is to insist on putting limits on their actions, OR just staying out of their away.
SITEs: “How to beat a S. at their own dating game”
• “6 things to know about dating a sociopath”
• 5 Things Ps & Narc. do in conversation 

💭  ❎  🗯️
4b. PSYCHOPATHS – MAIN TRAIT
• “The LIE  (the more elaborate, the better) is the primary weapon used to snare their victims, & the inner justification for their right to cause harm. (like Bernie Madoff)
To a PS, lying is as easy as breathing, since they have no physiological reaction to thinking or expressing falsehoods (no blushing, heart racing, sweating). When caught, they just create more ‘stories’. They can be Narcissist, Victim, Con-artist or Professionals (politics, religion, sales….. )”  Continued in 5c
SEE posts “Red Flags from PSs”

NEXT: Disorders #5c

Psychological DISORDERS – PDs (Part 4c)

dmtorbi 12-step, ACoAs, al-anon, Alcoholics Anonymous, alcoholism, recovery, self growth


IF I REALLY WANT TO GROW
I have to crack thru my walls

PREVIOUS: Disorders #4a

SITEs : PDs PLAY DEFENSE
• EnneaType DEFENSES

 

2. NEUROSES


3. PERSONALITY DISORDERS (PDs) (cont.)

The Five Factor Model (FFM) groups human characteristics into:
1. Openness – re. Intellect
2. Conscientiousness – re. dependability
3. Extroversion – re. hi levels of positive emotions
4. Agreeableness – re. sociability
5. Neuroticism – re. emotional stability  (MORE…. w/ assessments)

SIDEBAR: A study of 468 young adults at risk for becoming alcoholics used a questionnaire based on the FFM.  It was designed to correlate: risk for alcoholism, alcohol-use disorder, & alcoholism subtyping . Some results:
• Familial risk for alcoholism was positively associated with openness, and negatively associated with agreeableness & conscientiousness.

• Alcohol use disorders were positively associated with neuroticism, and negatively associated with agreeableness & conscientiousness.

With the exception of family alcoholism, & a dual diagnosis with Antisocial PD  • all other alcoholic subtypes related to at least one of the 5 FFM.

E.M.Jellinek’s (1960) 5 SUBTYPES of alcoholism :
🍷ALPHA : Based in mental & emotional problems, drinking to drive away depression, stress, or anxiety
🍷 BETA: almost daily heavy drinking, leads to various physical & psychological symptoms
🍷 GAMMA: sudden cravings for alcohol after 1 or 2 episodes of ‘social drinking’, becomes continual drinking, drunkenness & full-fledged alcoholism

🍷 DELTA: the habit of drinking small amounts throughout the day, without ever really getting drunk. Like Gamma, but with inability to abstain, instead of loss of intake control
🍷 EPSILON: ‘periodic’ – drinking at regular intervals until they pass out completely – called dipsomania, but are sober more often than drunk

ALSO: 5 types of alcoholics, re. ‘Progressive Symptoms‘

PD develops from :  Environmental, genetic, pre-natal factors, as well as unhealthy parenting (no affection + harshness). Pathology is the extreme reverse of the BIG 5 :
1.PSYCHOTISM (➖ Openness – mental lucidity)
Eccentricity / Unusual or unrealistic beliefs & experiences

2. DIS-INHIBITION (➖ Conscientiousness)
Distractible / Impulsive / Irresponsible / Rigid perfectionism / Risk taking 

3. DETACHMENT (➖Extroversion)
Avoid intimacy / Depressed – long term / Joyless / Limited emotional range / Suspicion-paranoia / Withdrawal

4. ANTAGONISM (➖Agreeableness)
Attention seeking / Callous / Deceitful / Grandiose / Hostile / Manipulative

5. NEGATIVE AFFECT (➖ Neuroticism – emotional stability)
Anxious / Over-reactive w/ mood swings / Persistent talking or movement / Hostile / Submissive / Separation anxiety
💚
PDs & DEFENSES 
In the present – staying entrenched in defenses means the walls of the castle are high, the gate is up & the alligators are in the moat.
This makes it very unlikely you can take in another point of view – which is all that matters to you – (such as aBR), to keep everyone from adding to your vast pile of insecurities.
Where are your INNER archers & guys with the vats of boiling oil? 

NEGATIVE Toxic Beliefs lock us inside our armor, keeping us from being flexible in our thinking or adaptable in our actions. They lead to a defensive stance in life, as a dysfunctional way of protecting ourselves. Each PD can use one or more Defense Mechanisms to maintain their False Self .
EXP: NPDs & Anti-soc PDs share mirror image-distorting defenses – such as Omnipotence or Devaluation
— NPD uses Splitting of self-images, & Anti-Soc PD uses disavowal defenses like Denial
— Borderline is also strongly associated with image-distorting defenses, mainly Splitting & the hysterical level defenses of Dissociation & Repression

The following list is similar to the one in Part 4a, but here it’s referring to core statements which are each type’s defense (7 out of the 10 PDs, including defensive statements, as well as healing goals for each)

AVOIDER: “I don’t want to be hurt, ever, because I can’t bear it”
BORDERLINE: “No one is allowed to leave me, no matter how much I mistreat them”
DEPENDENT: “Please take care of me”

HYSTERICAL: “Please pay attention to me”
NARCISSIST: “Please help me achieve success because I’m special”
OCD : “I act right & the world would be a better place if everyone else did too”
PARANOID: “It’s important to keep myself safe – people are not trustworthy & the world is dangerous”
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 NEXT: Disorders 5a

Psychological DISORDERS – PDs (Part 4b)

dmtorbi 12-step, ACoAs, al-anon, Alcoholics Anonymous, alcoholism, Psychotherapy, recovery, self growth

TRYING TO BE SOCIAL
is such hard work!

PREVIOUS: Disorders #4a

SITE: ‘Somatization’ & Psych terms used as swear words

HUMOR: 35 Undiagnosed Medical Conditions of Disney Characters 

1. NORMAL // 2. NEUROSES

3. PERSONALITY DISORDERS (PDs) (cont)
PDs describe types of ‘damage’ in adults who have long-standing problems in forming deep, meaningful, positive relationships with others. These people often show unusual, rigid or extreme patterns of thought, emotional reactions, &/or impulsive behavior, which consistently lead to problems for themself & others

● The brain uses Self-concept as a guide for interpreting the world. People with this diagnosis have a wounded core identity. How dysfunctional they are depends on how intensely they act in self-defeating ways.  
= At one extreme – some PD people assume they’re invulnerable & have a right to feel superior. They’re insulated in their carefully built shell of defenses, and flatly deny having a wounded core

= However, most feel empty, bad, ‘not right’ in their basic sense of Self.  Their sense of badness has a physical quality – as if it’s in their very bones or cells. They they truly believe it they’re not, & say there’s never been a time when they felt OK.
Transactional Analysis theory explains that this sense of wrongness comes from their WIC’s child parts (C1 or C0) – the most vulnerable aspect of personality. So this feeling is ego-syntonic – it ‘makes sense’ to them on a gut level, with no inner conflict, as there is with neurotics. So the damage started very early, likely at birth (Co).

Using the Gestalt technique, if we visualize putting a person’s Adult & Parents voices in 2 opposite chairs, & imagine the Inner Child between them, we ask the person “How do you feel about your IC?” Most people will have a fairly positive reaction.
In contrast, many PDs will say they hate their child – that it’s ugly, dirty, disgusting, full of needs ….. expressing their ingrained sense of worthlessness (typical of many ACoAs!).

💚 SIDEBAR: There is now a “Grand Unified Theory” of psychology (GUT) – the relationship between psychology & neuroscience …..which clearly defines how the field relates to other disciplines (biology & sociology….) . It’s made up of :
1) the Tree of Knowledge System // 2) the Justification Hypothesis
3) the Influence Matrix  // 4) Behavioral Investment Theory (MORE….)  

✥ Relational INFLUENCE Matrix (IM)
It maps how people represent themself in relation to others. It grew out of the Behavioral Investment Theory of social motivational & emotional processes, based on Attachment Theory.  The Matrix makes 2 main points:
a. Humans are motivated by the need to be loved, admired & respected
b. They are equally driven by the need to avoid loss – being rejected, criticized or ostracized
(Freud’s Pleasure-Pain principal)

The green boxes at the BLACK axis points show that people have a mental/ emotional picture of how valuable different types of relationships are, & tend to approach or avoid them accordingly.
💗 EXP: Having ‘HI relational value’ can come from accomplishing something really hard that other people admire or love you for.

✥ Personality Disorder Star (these 2 CHARTS)
Karen Horney’s 3 main NEEDS – ways of relating to others – exactly parallel the IM dimensions (above) : Power is used to move against, Love for moving toward & Freedom for moving away – separate pathways to deciding relational value

HOWEVER – People with PDs consistently act in ways that reduce the relational value of themself & others – their self-defeating behavior causing everyone so much distress.
EXP: PDs are grouped by the direction of MOVEMENT  –
• Against = Narcissistic – hyper-competitive, constantly act superior to others (Steve Jobs)
• Away = Schizoid – deep detachment, without emotional connection & responsiveness
• Toward = Dependent – desperate fear of abandonment, they submit to the will of others to avoid rejection, & a need to caretake then

This star shows how certain PDs are the opposites of other negative personality characteristics.
Cluster A people are extreme on the need for Freedom dimension
Cluster B people are mainly selfish, competitive, manipulative & controlling
Cluster C people (especially Avoidant & Dependent PDs) are deeply concerned with affiliation – come here or go away – at any cost

NOTE that only 6 out of the 10 PDs are represented. The others tend to be combinations.
EXP: Borderlines (BPD) fluctuate between strong displays of dependency/ neediness followed by extreme displays of reactive hostility – described in”I hate you, don’t leave me” by Kreitman & Straus. They are less rigid than most PDs, with a weak or fragmented identity, & strong need for all 3 (power, love & freedom), covering a basically insecure Self (LO relational value).
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NEXT: Personality Disorders (Part 4c)

Psychological DISORDERS – PDs (Part 4a)

dmtorbi 12-step, ACoAs, al-anon, Alcoholics Anonymous, alcoholism, Psychotherapy, recovery, self growth

I CAN’T HELP IT if I’m afraid of everything!

PREVIOUS: Psych Disorders (#3c)

POSTs: EGO States – summary

SITE: Re. PSYCH terms used as swear words

HUMOR: Hollywood PDs, as “Cars in the parking lot”

 

1. NORMAL  // 2. NEUROSES

3. PERSONALITY DISORDERS (PDs)
They are a group of 10 PMES mental/emotional illnesses, consisting of  internal maladaptive – thinking (Ts), experiencing (Es) & behavior (As) – that deviate from norms & expectations of the person’s culture. These PDs make it very hard for the sufferers to accurately understand or relate to other people & situations.

PDs are pervasive & inflexible (unlike neuroses), have an onset in adolescence or early adulthood, are stable over time (consistent, persistent), & lead to emotional distress & impaired ‘normal’ functioning. Skodol, 2005 :
— PDs are about 15% of the US population, 10% worldwide
— They are usually chronic, & difficult to treat
— A person can be diagnosed with more than one PD, usually from the same cluster.
— Identifying a person’s specific PD (Axis I of the DSM) can help clinicians evaluate the risk of suicide & other psychological problems (any on Axis II) often accompanying PDs

This category fits into the hierarchy of mental states – Highest to Lowest functioning:
1. Healthy —-> 2. Neurotics —-> 3. Personality Disordered (PD)—-> 4. Sociopaths/Psychopaths —-> 5. Psychotics (who are not at all in reality)

●  All human traits range from
healthy & adaptive <—> to unhealthy & maladaptive.
PDs fall into the orange & red sectors, because the dysfunction affects every part of a person’s life, usually as a result of an ongoing traumatic childhood. PDs tends to severely limit success in school, relationships, social encounters, work.

OVERVIEW – Main Symptoms of PDs
a. Distorted thinking patterns (CDs)
b. Over / under – regulated impulse control
• Odd / eccentric behavior patterns
• In some cases, periods of losing contact with reality (dissociations)
c. Interpersonal difficulties
• Avoid other people, feel empty & emotionally disconnected
• Trouble sustaining stable/close relationships (partners, children, professional helpers)

d. Problematic emotional responses
•  Overwhelmed by distress, anxiety, anger & worthlessness
• Trouble managing uncomfortable/painful emotions, especially without self-harming – use self-cutting, promiscuity, belligerent, withholding, chemical abuse… in order to ‘cope’ – but rarely harm others physically. Exceptions : bullying people,  torturing animals

CLUSTERS – CHART
Based on similarities, PDs are grouped into:
A – 3 “odd, eccentric” types: social awkwardness & withdrawal (MORE….) .  Dominated by distorted thinking, & extremes, they go:
— from eccentricity to fantasy
— from lonely to schizoid hiding
— from distorted thinking to delusion to paranoia
— from projective identification to projecting guilt on to others…..
Paranoid (2%) “The world is hostile, so don’t trust anyone, & deal with people by being angry & attacking.”
Schizoid – “The world is scary so I withdraw from it (people), & don’t show any emotion or other needs/feelings”
Schizotypal – “The world is too scary, so I withdraw from it (people), & being a bit crazy, I don’t think clearly”

B – 4 “dramatic, emotional, erratic” types
UNDER- controlled: People in this cluster share the pattern of little or no impulse control & have trouble emotionally regulating themself. This can include failure to plan ahead, or to consider the long-term consequences of their actions. At the extreme they can end up getting into trouble (like breaking the law), & hurting others.

Antisocial (3%) “You can’t trust anyone & life’s unfair, so I take advantage of people & do whatever I like”
Borderline (1-2%) “Relationships & life are very unreliable, so I frantically do anything to keep people around”
Histrionic (2-3%) “I must be the center of attention, so I will be dramatic, flirtatious & highly emotional”
Narcissistic (1%) “I’ve always been told that I’m very important & the best, so I agree & act that way”

C – 3 “anxious, fearful” types  
OVER- controlled: This group shares a pattern of social inhibition, a deep sense of inadequacy, & hyper-sensitivity to other people’s negative opinions. They’re afraid to try new things lest they embarrass themself, & get ridiculed or outright rejected. They hold back around others, so can come across as uptight & snobbish. They lack spontaneity, since every action must be considered for its potential to cause themself emotional pain

Avoidant (1-10%) “Life is scary & rejecting, so I feel worthless & withdraw ”
Dependent (0.5%) “I’m worthless & can’t cope with life, so I cling to others & do what they tell me”
Obsessive/compulsive (1-8%?) “Everything around me is chaotic, so I have to be in control of myself & everything in my life, by being orderly & perfectionistic (MORE….)

Other PDs not in DSM IV
— Cyclothymic: Mood swings from Hi to Lo, with evenness in between – not as extreme as Manic-Depression
— Masochistic (self-defeating): A need to fail, deliberately putting obstacles in ones own way to cause themself frustration, grief, setbacks & suffering

— Passive-aggressive: See POSTS
<— Sadistic: Derive pleasure from harming or humiliating others, using aggressive, cruel, demeaning & manipulative behavior

NEXT: Personality Disorders (Part 4b)