SITE : “After Narcissistic Abuse – There is Light, Life & Love“(FaceBook page)
REMINDER: Symptoms apply to either gender, those who have finally been able to get away from a NPD parent, mate, boss, cult leader….
These painful symptoms are definitely a major legacy from our alcoholic, narcissistic family. We then find & stay in various N relationships which mimic what we grew up with, they re-traumatize us. This list has echoes of the ACoA Laundry List.
🍂Avoidance – of places, sounds, tastes, & songs that remind you of your abuser, or the abuse. Intense feelings of anxiety surface even the idea of having to remember
🍂Awareness of Symptoms – It’s very scary to realize you’re different from the person you were before the N twisted your world. PTSD has replaced the presence of the abuser, a constant emotionally draining reminder of the person you’ve escaped
🍂Confusion = Ns purposely cause extreme confusion & anxiety, knowing that a divided mind is their prisoner, who won’t be able to identify that their confusion is deliberate. Years of gaslightinghas blurred – even erased – reality & the border between yourself & others
🍂Dissociation = Years of ugly power & control tactics constantly used against cause you to ‘dissociate’. It’s a unconscious detachment from emotions, & a lack of awareness of the body & surroundings, as an automatic coping mechanism (See symptoms in 2 charts)
🍂Doubting Yourself = You can often seem uncertain, mistrusting your opinions & feelings, constantly looking for clarification that you haven’t made a mistake or misheard something
🍂Disturbing Thoughts & Guilt – You may obsessively picture terrible things happening to the N, such as accident, — illness, even death. However, its can leave you with deep guilt & self-hate, adding to your damage
🍂Feeling ‘Crazy’ = Ns constantly project their psychological disorder onto those around them. The degree to which you’ve been exposed to this poison is the degree to which you’ll think you’re crazy. But it’s not you!
🍂Fight or Flight Response – Your system was on constant high alert for very real danger in your environment. You’ve become so used to Adrenalin agitation that it’s easy to be startled, reacting sensitively to sudden movements & sounds
🍂Lack of Joy & Hope – Being treated with so much cruelty (no matter how subtle)u had to shut does emotionally. Now you’re afraid you’ll never being able to love or trust anyone again.
🍂Memory Loss – Almost all survivors report trouble with their memory – regardless of age. It’s partly from automatically needing to avoid feeling the pain of it all, as well as from the damage to the hippocampus (in Part 3)
🍂Need for Solitude – You’re exhausted after narcissistic abuse, so wanting to withdraw & isolate is understandable. You just want to be in your own head for a while to find our own answers & reconnect with True Self
🍂Physical Numbness – (toes, fingertips, lips) is common, as is lack of emotional numbness experienced in the body
🍂Self-harm – Without the distraction of daily trauma, you may find yourself overwhelmed by accumulated feelings of shame, self-hate, rage & terror. OR end up in another, sometimes worse, situation. Your reaction may be to cut yourself, bang your head against a wall, hit yourself in the face…. in an attempt to relieve the emotional tsunami, or as a self-punishment
🍂Sleeplessness – Many survivors are afraid to go to sleep because of nightmares & night terrors, experienced for along time after ‘freedom’. form the N. It’s exhausting, overwhelming & can feel very lonely. Napping then becomes a new favorite passion, along with taking Melatonin.
🍂Suicidal Thoughts – While you may never act on it, many survivors use ‘creative’ scenarios of how they could kill themselves, as a mental stress reliever. It’s a back-door option -“If it gets too much for me, I’ll just check out”. HOWEVER – there are many better ways to cope with mental & emotional pain. (See Topics list on this blog)
💠 ALL these symptoms can slowly be reversed or minimized! with perseverance & the right kind of help. You were a Victim. NOW you’re a SURVIVOR. With healing you can be a WINNER.
NEXT : After-effects, #3