NOTE: As a break – next will be posts on WRITING.
Narc posts will resume on 9/ 5 /2021.
3 MAJOR TACTICS = FMs intensify N-abuse BY :
1. Gossip / Smear Campaigns
When the N feels at all slighted, they’ll punish you for daring to evade the power & control they’ve had over you. The main way is to create wide-spread blatant lies. The N has to :
🔇stop you from ‘imagining’ their defects & misdeeds – if you had the nerve to make them up – none of which can be true, since they’re perfect
🔕 preempt any bad publicity from you, by painting you as the ‘bad one’ before you have a chance to do the same to them
Bible Commandment #8: “You shall not testify falsely [lie, withhold, or manipulate the truth] against your neighbor (anyone) ∼ Exodus 20:16 – Amplified Bible
If you dumped your N, & gone no contact to heal from N trauma – they’ll feel deprived of supply, & that their ‘superior status’ was disrespected.
If that N decides they want you back – not from love – it’s only so they can then be the dump-er. 1 or 2 FMs will be sucked into checking all your social media accounts & report back what they’ve seen, which the N will use against you
3. Group Attacks with FM Interventions
This N tactic involves developing a group of FMs who will work together to convince you that the specific ways the N wants you to behave – are in your best interest. (Ugh!)
It’s most common in families where the N parent poisons siblings & extended family members – by telling everyone how they (the N) has never done anything wrong, but that you are hurting them so badly by ______ …. This group, which may include the Enabler parent, will attack you for causing the ‘problem’, & self-righteously identify what you must do to fix it! (“Call your mother / sister….”)
👿The following 4-phase cycle is usually applied to romantic relationships.
BUT, with minor changes, it’s also used to sucker political groups, business partners, new friends, religious converts, adult-children. spouses of siblings…..
FMs are used at every stage
1. IDEALIZING = In the love bombing phase the FMs’ job is to convince the target that the N’s false self (2/5/20) is real, via social proof. THEY :
🌞vouch for the N, making her/him seem believable, trustworthy & stable
🌞falsely validate smear campaigns crafted by the N to discredit a previous victim (V)
2. DEVALUATING = Here FM-activity is to echo the abuser’s negative comments about the current V.
🙀 At the same time, the N is secretly grooming a new source of supply for attention & adoration. FMs provide the N with alibis to cover this double-dealing
3. DISCARDING = Here FMs help maintain the N’s ‘false witness’ & escape accountability, as the N charms Bystanders, naive listeners they use to bolster their sagging ego, & feel sorry for them by hearing how horrible, crazy & abusive their ex was.
FMs again provide a false-positive picture of the N, & use tactics like DARVO to augment the N’s scapegoating of the current Victim
4. HOOVERING – the maneuver used after a family, lover or work ‘breakup’ – IF the N wants to reconnect with their previously discarded Supply (V).
Then FMs can be used to hook the ‘old’ target back in.
SNEAKIER: They’ll fake-befriend the potential friend / lover / adult-child / …., act like they commiserate, convince the V things weren’t that bad…. & carry fake-caring messages from the N. The FM will extract info about the V for the N to exploit, so the abuse can start up again
HARSHER : malevolent FMs can be used to slander, harass, stalk & character-assassinate the target to such an extent that the V will become desperate. He / she may believe that the only way to put an end to their torment is to resume contact with the N & plead them to make it stop.
NEXT: WRITING STYLES