SITE: Caring for Your Introvert
• Cartoons (re. Is) tell the story
PREJUDICES & Corrections (cont.)
FALSE: They’re not emotional
TRUTH : The opposite is true – Introverts tend to have very deep feelings, but keep then inside, preferring to control their emotions around others, & in fact are much more even-keeled than Es, even under stress. In conversation, they may not show feelings with facial expressions or gestures, but it doesn’t mean they’re not interested – they usually are
FALSE: They have low self-esteem
TRUTH : Both Es & Is can have S-H, which is be expressed in different ways, but being internally oriented does not indicate lack of self-confidence
FALSE: They’re shy
TRUTH: Shyness is about being afraid of people, which has nothing to do with Introversion. Is need a reason to interact – not just for the sake of being ‘social’. If you want to talk to an Introvert, it’s up to you to get it started, without being impolite or pushy (Article)
FALSE: They’re isolators
TRUTH: Just as Is are not inherently shy (fear-based), they’re not isolators by ‘nature’, which also comes from fear, lack of boundaries & poor self-esteem. It’s just that they’re perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts, working out problems or solving puzzles. But they do crave someone to share their ideas & discoveries with, one person at a time who is authentic, intelligent & sincere
FALSE: Introverts aren’t happy (or – Es are happier)
TRUTH: Is & Es are happy in different ways. Is prefer low-arousal good feelings & like to be peaceful & relaxed. Es are happier with exciting activities & people
FALSE: They’re uptight party-poopers & can’t have fun (relax)
TRUTH: Because Es & Is have different dominant neuro-pathways, Is are not thrill seekers & adrenaline junkies. Their brains are too sensitive to Dopamine, which is generated by lots of activity.
Interesting: A 2006 Japanese study found Is to have lower blood pressure
• They just tailor their fun to suit their unique needs – like book clubs, blogging, designing web-comics, listening to frogs in a pond, quilting, throwing pottery, watching sports on tv….. They typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places, & will shut down if there’s too much talking or other noise.
FALSE: They don’t like to go out in public
TRUTH: Is don’t want to be around a lot of hubbub for too long. Turning down social invitations they know will drain them is simply a way to take care of themselves – not weird or insulting.
When they are out, they don’t need to be somewhere for long to “get it,” since they take in experiences & info quickly. They may well have enjoyed the time somewhere, but if they always leave events early, it’s because they’re tank is full. They’re ready to go home, recharge & process it all
FALSE: They don’t like (hate) people & have no friends
TRUTH: Is are thoughtful & occasionally skeptical people, valuing calmness & intelligence. They don’t hate people, only too much hoopla (unlike the robot in “Short Circuit”, begging for “More Input, more input…!”).
• They don’t want to be alone. They may struggle to form friendships because they’re selective, looking for people who’ll make valuable long-term companions.
While they may only have a few friends, they value them greatly. If you’re lucky enough to be one of those few, you probably have a loyal ally for life. If you’ve earned their respect for being a person of substance, be complimented
NEXT: Introvert T or F (#3)