I’M ABLE TO HAVE THE MOST FUN
when I’m in my Natural Child

PREVIOUS: CHILD E.S. (Part 1)

SITES: Images for T.A. Ego States (very interesting) and ‘Natural Child’ Test

CES = child ego state
AES = adult   ”     ”
PES  = parent  ”    ”
NC = Natural C.  // AC = Adapted C.

REMINDER : Everyone is born with 2 potential Ego States – our Natural self & the Adaptive capacity.

1. NATURAL (NC) or Free Child – in TA terms it’s the part of us that’s on the surface of our consciousness when we’re most relaxed & ourselves – when the Inner Parent (positive or negative) is not telling us who to be or how to act.

• It’s expressed in the way any happy child does – combining curiosity, intuition & creativity – as well as all emotions as they come up, without judgements. The NC is the state which loves, & whenever we play & are fun to be with. When we have a healthy sense of play our life becomes more balanced. Without access to the Natural Child life is quite dull, limited & stilted.

• It represents our True Self, as unique & individual as our fingerprints. It’s what we were born as, our heredity, our native capacities & tendencies, but which often goes unrecognized, unexplored, unappreciated…. or deliberately suppressed! It’s largely un-selfconscious, expressing non-verbal noises such as ‘yahoo, whee’…. It enjoys life, is open, vulnerable & is seen in autonomous, *spontaneous actions.

*Spontaneous: any communication or activity coming from a natural emotion or native tendency, without constraint. Occurring without apparent external influence, force or cause.  REQUIREMENT: a low-level of anxiety, even if only for a little while!

• The CES holds all the caring, enjoyable, helpful &  loving things we received growing up.  It’s the part that loves to giggle, laugh, have fun & enjoy the simple things in life – at any age, like the 70-year-old man sitting in the park enjoying an ice cream cone, or the couple dancing ‘like no one else exists’ – are in their Child state – in positive ways

HOWEVER, because all children are vulnerable, the CES can also be fearful, intimidated, need, selfish and manipulative – showing up as a brat – whiny, stubborn or demanding when it doesn’t get its way. SO, over time it will house all the experiences that caused us anxiety, sadness, rage, shame, terror… as well as creativity, curiosity & joy

• All forms of personality inventory (Myers-Briggs, MMPI, Enneagram…) are basically designed to identify the native characteristics of the NC. This is healthy the part we want to bring forward, encourage to express itself – that part of us that will shine, if allowed!  The Child E.S. can be seen at any age.

NOTE : it’s important to NOT idealize the NC, such as when some people call it the Golden Child, because it puts a burden on it that’s not realistic – to be perfect. Since the NC is our essence, it is by definition: human = imperfect, which is normal.

General NC CHARACTERISTICS
MENTAL
🔅 Brainstorms, is curious, creative, intuitive, has drive, with a great capacity for enjoyment, self-expression & being in the moment
🔅 Very literal, overly-truthful / blunt, insensitive to others’ feelings, since it is naturally self-centered
🔅 It is by nature optimistic, idealistic, exuberant, joyful. Its goal is self-actualization & intimacy/ human relating

EMOTIONAL
🔅 Holds our genuine emotions, is not afraid to let others know how it feels, & can ask for what it needs
🔅 Is natively either an Introvert or Extrovert (each person has their own degree of it on a continuum)
🔅 Can be selfish, immature or over-emotional, willful, not liking to share or take turns, out of touch with the real world or naive
🔅 It may be rebellious or co-operative, depending on circumstances & the developmental stage it’s in at the time

ACTION
🔅 Likes to explore, have adventures, and sometimes be impulsive, “leaping before you look”
NOTE: One reason being high or drunk is so appealing to many is that it tends to free the Adapted Child from the Critical Parent’s influence & ‘transform’ the person by releasing them into their Natural Child

NEXT: Child ES #3