I’m just a little kid!

Previous: Partner Abuse

SITE: Emotional Trauma in the Womb

Abuse PATTERNS: the following come from several Child Abuse sites. These styles are mainly perpetrated by immediate family, but also apply to other caretakers, teachers & peers.

DEF: — “Acts or omissions by parents or other caregivers that have caused, or could cause  – serious behavioral, cognitive, emotional, or mental disorders
(National Center on Child Abuse & Neglect)
— “When a child is regularly threatened, yelled at, humiliated, ignored, blamed or otherwise emotionally mistreated”.  (AMA)

❖ E.A. is a type of brainwashing which leaves deeper & longer-lasting scars than physical ones, eventually showing up as problems on all 4 PMES levels. Includes:
• excessive teasing of infant or child, ridicule youth in public
• telling a child it’s adopted (when it’s a lie) to make them feel unwanted
• threaten to give them away or send them to an orphanage
• repeatedly tell the child it caused the divorce or death of a patent ….

Belittling – one of the most common forms, is when the caregiver acts as a extremely distorted mirror – so the child sees themselves as described:
lazy, selfish, unlovable, worthless, ……
This slows the growth of the child’s talents & skills, or inhibits them altogether, severely limiting the child’s own sense of identity & what they can accomplish

E.A. systematically wears away the child’s:
• trust in their own perceptions, thoughts & experience
• ability to judge situations realistically
• self-confidence, sense of self-worth, value & identity
• belief that anyone else could ever want or love them
• willingness to try new experiences, or to take appropriate risks
• ability to take in compliments & trust positive reinforcement from others
SEE posts on E.A.
DEF: Absence or withdrawal of warmth, affection, care, comfort, concern, love, nurturance, support or warmth, by parents.
USEING a variety of physically & psychologically hurtful actions & emotional reactions (disgust, anger, disappointment…).
🤍 Rejection can be:
— indirect (lack of emotional support, encouragement, feedback…) or
— direct (“I never wanted children in the first place”). A negating caretaker destroys the child’s self-image, indicating it has no value as a human being.
• Children rejected from the start develop a range of disturbed self-soothing behaviors. Such infants have very little chance of developing into a healthy adult.

Reject child’s Actions, Needs, Worth – BY:
• constant criticism – nothing is never good enough
• frequent teasing about child’s body type or weight
• excluding child from family activities or expel child from family
• expressing regret the child wasn’t born the opposite sex
• regular verbal humiliation, name-calling with : demeaning jokes, labels such as geek, over-sensitive, selfish, stupid, ugly, worthless ….
• not allowing the teen to make own reasonable choices
• physical abandonment, deny child’s existence
• refusing hugs & other loving (non-sexual) gestures
• treating a teen like she/he is still a young child
• yell, swear at or verbally attacking the child

FACT:  Rejection is the most insidious form of emotional abuse.  A U.S. study that randomly assigned ‘rejection experiences’ to students – found that their IQs  dramatically dropped & therefor the ability to reason, while increasing aggression (Baumeister: Rejection)
DEF: “An ongoing pattern of inadequate care (4 types) – the parent not providing many or all fundamental, age-appropriate childhood needs (education, emotional nurturing, health care, nutrition, safe housing, supervision….) — even though financially able, to such a degree that a child’s health & safety are endangered (NCANDS, 2007)….

• Neglect can be the result of parents abusing drugs & alcohol, being physically incapable, depressed, hospitalized… but more often because they don’t want to deal with the many PMES needs of their children.

They may provide only the Physical basics (food, clothing, shelter), but NOT
Emotional (love, comfort, acceptance, admiration …)
— Mental (general conversation, specific info, teaching, what to expect…)
Spiritual needs (moral & spiritual modeling….) See: “7 Spiritual needs” 

😪 Often, neglected children don’t want to leave school to go home, are constantly tired, depressed & feel like they don’t belong anywhere.
IGNORING children deprives them of all the essential stimulation & interaction necessary for emotional, intellectual & social development. (RESULTS….)

NEXT: Abuse of Children (Part 2)