PREVIOUS : Communication styles (8, 9)
🔊As a One – you value clarity, directness, being fair, & listening to all voices. Your challenge is to not be judgmental, & too quick to share your own opinions – from the belief that they’re always “right”! Pause & check your motives. ASK:
Am I inadvertently shutting others down?
Do I always thinking I know best? Is this true?
Watch the tendency to dominate, & how often you use the word “should.”
📢 Colleagues: If you work with a One, you can lean on them for well-articulated, decisive, clear thinking. If you’re having trouble being heard by a One who thinks s/he is right, try the phrase, “That’s interesting. I see it a bit differently…” & then explain your perspective, inviting the curious One to explore it with you.
As a Two – you’re most at ease using warm, generous, caring language. You love to help & freely offer it, great at giving positive reinforcement & encouragement. Your communication challenge is to not slip into being manipulative or needy – when your suggestions are not used.
Watch for insisting that people agree with your ideas. Take a breath & remember how good it feels to give unconditionally & watch others thrive.
📢 Colleagues: If you work with a Two, you can trust that they genuinely want to be of service. But if their good-intentions become boundary invasive, thank them for their effort, acknowledging that they care. Then ask for their patience and some time – while you try it a different way
As a Three – your preference is to be clear, solutions-oriented & pragmatic. You value achievement & reaching goals, which allow you to feel good about yourself. Your challenge is to not come across as impatient, sharp or self-promoting, which can put colleagues off.
Watch that your ability to produce – can be at the expense of listening to others or not bringing them along with you.
📢 Colleagues: If you work with a Three, you know their amazing gift for getting things done. Let them know you value that & appreciate all they’re doing. If they push you too hard, invite them to step back & take a breath. Affirm that you share the desire to achieve their goal, but that additional considerations may be required to get there.
As a Four – your style reflects your appreciation for being thoughtful, reflective & attuned to others. You have a gift for helping people appreciate subtlety & emotional nuance, with an able to stay with the hard places in a conversation, if needed.
Your challenge is to not over-use the talent for creative expression – which can frustrate others who need a more direct approach. EXP : You can be long-winded & relying on metaphors, which leaves some to scratch their heads wondering “What do they want me to do?” Watch how you write & talk. Combine your artistic style with clear statements or requests.
📢 Colleagues: If you work with a Four, know that their sensitivity can sometimes make them moody or withdrawn. Don’t take this personally or judge them, but instead check in to make a connection by asking how they’re doing. Tell them you noticed they’re a little remote at the moment & invite them to share their ideas, without trying to manage their mood
As a Five – you have a gift for seeing the big picture in all its complexity. You’re deeply curious, excited by & engaged in learning. Internally – you’re constantly reflecting, wondering, & chewing on things that interest you. Your mental wheels are keep turning, which can take a lot of energy.
Your challenge it to not get too remote & emotionally unavailable. Instead, ask how team members are, what they’re working on or thinking about.
AND – you assume you have to “solve” everything on your own.
Instead, ask for practical suggestions – chances are they’ll gladly offer them.
📢 Colleagues: If you work with a Five, remember they can self-isolate. Give them space, but also make it easy for them to connect to the group. Invite them to share thoughts on a topic or issue. Note that saying “What are your thoughts on this…. ?” is a better way to approach a Five – rather than “What’s going on with you right now?” which can feel intrusive.
NEXT: WORK Communication (#2)