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Personal Power – Individual

** SITE : Connection between CLUTTER & TRAUMA

1. HOW to DEVELOP Personal Power (PP)

🌷a. Develop Self-Compassion
With PP you know that making mistakes is not a crime! It’s human – therefore normal & to be expected. You can still be in change of your life & shine.

Also – no one can know everything. The ‘rule’ is “I know what I know, but I can’t know everything, & don’t need to – to be OK!”  Being imperfect is realistic. So mistakes are not usually a problem. Most of the time it’s better to take an incorrect action than no action at all.

Powerful people do make mistakes, but do not beat themselves up or judge themselves harshly. They evaluate the outcome, figure out where they went ‘off’ & use it to learn how to do better.

🌷b. Be More in Charge of Yourself 
Self-awareness is the first step to owning your power. Your first objective is to gather insights so you can better understand yourself, especially the ways you might lose PP. ASK:
🥀How do I tend to give away my PP throughout the day?
🥀How does this make me feel? How is it hurting me?

Fundamentally, PP is about taking responsibility – as an adult, for your inner-life & outer circumstances – but only those you actually are in charge of. When you do, you’ll feel empowered, no matter how traumatic your background was or present situations are.
Also be clear that there are some PPT (people, places, things) out of your direct control. Even so, with PP you can proactively look for answers or solutions to improve the situation.

🌷c. Get Out of Victim Mode
Having PP means to accept that many things in life are not in your power to effect (the weather, our childhood….), BUT you can’t be powerful if perpetually living from the point of view of ‘under-dog”.

As an adult – to benefit from PP you must weed out cognitive distortions & the language associated with the Victim Role carried over from a painful childhood when you actually had very few options.  Identify & be in charge of the thoughts that live in your mind, so you don’t give more brainpower to areas of your life that don’t deserve it.
Listen to Negative Self-talk . Release, reframe & replace with positive affirmations.

🌷d. Acknowledge What You’re Avoiding
Own your PP by facing your fears. Some you bring with you from old trauma, but are now generated by Toxic Beliefs. These turn into mental spinning & then wasteful or harmful distractions. Once you can identify & correct / replace them, anxiety will greatly lessen.

Everyone loses power sometimes – about some specific issue or category – so when triggered, the fear overwhelms & paralyzes. You can move out of your comfort zone starting with baby steps “one day at a time”, to building the confidence muscle. Each new step & realistic risk brings you closer to owning & strengthening your Personal Power.

🌷e. Don’t Waste Energy Complaining
PP knows the big difference between complaining & problem-solving. Grumbling implies you have no power over your attitude (thinking) about a situation.  EXP: “I had to stay there / had no choice but to agree, because….”

People with PP have control over when & who they share their concerns. Venting belongs in therapy & 12-Step Programs, in prayer & on paper – not to ‘civilians’. It is important to be heard & listened to – finally, unlike in our family, but confined to the right people & locations. THEN you can use PP to form creative internal & external solution.

🌷f. Know & Commit to Your Values
Personal values are the things that matter to you when all else falls away – characteristics & activities that motivate you & guide your decisions. Exercising PP means acknowledging your values, & living true to what actually makes you feel alive.

NEXT : Personal Power – GROWTH (Part 3c)