60 Common Qs FROM N-Abuse Survivors


PREVIOUS : Signs of Ongoing abuse #3

SITE: “10 Unhelpful Responses Christians Give Victims …. “

❗️“4 Reasons Churches Attract Narcissists


Most people who experience N-Abuse are hampered by a
⁍lack of info about NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)
⁍pre-existing low self-esteem (childhood wounds)
⁍brain-washing by the N, AND
⁍bad ‘helpful’ info from others.
This deadly combination understandably leaves many survivors full of pain, confusion & questions. Below is a standard sample list of such Qs, divided into topics for ease of reading. You’re not the only one wondering.

↘️ QUESTION LIST from Bonnie Ronstrom, life coach, victim’s advocate, and pastoral counselor at Willow Life retreat in Virginia.

Trying to break free from a narcissistic relationship?
People who stay with N are sometimes described as addicts. In fact it is a physical addiction from brain chemistry created by the anticipation of ‘love’ combined with being traumatic bonded to the N.

When a relationship is unfulfilling, you can be left with a constant state of emptiness, which is temporarily relieved by each positive encounter with the N, flooding your system with oxytocin, dopamine & endorphins, called ‘love’ chemicals.

However, other chemicals released when trying to detach from a toxic bond do not feel good, such as cortisol, the stress hormone. So the intense discomfort may suck you back in. To overcome this, it works best to stay away from the N entirely (no-contact). But this can be tough to do.

Even if you’re somewhat relieved at first, you’re feel antsy, depressed, tired…. for a while, experiencing withdrawal & grief.
Turning to Recovery Programs (Al-Anon, CODA, ACA), a skilled therapist, safe friends & other support systems, as well as practicing self-care, will help you work through a difficult breakup. And over time you will heal. (More Qs & As)

NEXT : After-Effects of Abuse (Part 1)

2 thoughts on “ 60 Common Qs FROM N-Abuse Survivors

  1. Bulls eye …again ..it’
    Like reading about my dad pitiful life right now 10-31-21 ..how do you find help in a cold indifferent place like Austin Texas?


    • As I mentioned last week – Al-anon & ACA 12-step meetings can help – a lot!. They’re available on Zoom, by phone, & podcasts. Also literature, sponsorship & phone calls. Please avail yourself of them – daily!


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