OVERT NARCISSISTS – toward others (Part 2)

PREVIOUS: Overt Ns toward others – #1

SITE:  10 Signs of a toxic person

Re. Treating OTHERS cont – THEY (Ns) :
are self-righteous
N assume their point of view is inherently superior to other people’s. And what they truly value is the attention they get for their ideas.

EXP:  a N may actually believe he/she has a closer connection to God than everyone else, but what’s more important to them is that others believe the N has this ‘connection’ & admires their ‘deep’ spirituality

don’t actually listen
Ns really don’t care about what you have to say, so they don’t ask how you are or what’s going on in your life.
But even if they happen to, out of politeness-training, they don’t actually let you say more than a word or two before they just start going on about themselves again

◆ are good at stonewalling
Ns are the ‘best’ at ignoring requests that don’t fit their agenda. They’ll refuse to : compromise, collaborate, negotiate a conflict in good faith refuse to : listen to another’s point of view with an open mind, support another’s plans, nor openly discuss their own motivations.
Another version – simply ignoring a person, refusing to acknowledge their existence

don’t give compliments, unless….
Ns want to be admired. They’re not interested in making others feel good about themselves. That’s not their job in life. You’re ‘lucky’ if you do get a compliment, which should make you suspicious about their motive. Don’t assume it’s sincere. However, if a N is trying to sexually seduce someone, they’ll gush about how wonderful the potential mark is, but only until they’ve ‘won’.

◆ over-rate their attractiveness
According to one study, Ns are generally rated as more stylish & physically attractive. However, this isn’t always the case.

According to another study (2008), Ns rated themselves highly in both looks & intelligence, but their IQ tests proved to just be average. When their peers were asked to rate their N friends on looks, the results were lower than what the Ns gave themselves.

don’t pick unattractive friends (usually)
This applies mainly to Extrovert Ns, who are in business, entertainment, politics…. anywhere they’re visible. Since they only do what benefits them, picking who they surround themselves with is important. Those have to be attractive & “upper-class” people who enhance their prestige, making them feel superior & invincible.

However, there are plenty of  ‘vulnerable’ Ns who hide behind false modesty, do-gooding, caretaking…. in which case they need to be the only one who’s attractive, reenforcing their sense of superiority.

Younger N men & women have different styles. Women choose male friends with high social status so they can feel worthwhile. Guys choose bros who are willing to be their ‘wingman’ when trying to pick up girls

are serial romantics
The “seductive” Ns fall in & out of ‘love’ quickly & easily, often with someone they don’t know very well. They think their partner is absolutely perfect – a match to their own perfection. When reality sets in they realize their partner is flawed, which often ends the relationship

cheat in relationships
Psychologists’ research found that narcissists are more likely to cheat – once they think their partners are committed. They tend to use more sexually explicit language in every-day conversation, & seem to get a charge out of convincing others to engage in promiscuous sexual acts they wouldn’t normally participate in. (MORE….)

don’t incorporate security into relationships
Ns want to keep you off balance, to never feel secure in the relationship. Your anxiety & fear of losing them makes them feel important.
AND Triangulation is a favorite tactic:

1. Stirring up jealousy = constantly look at / commenting about attractive strangers, or talking about about an ex….
2. Division = talking trash about your friends, & doing the same with them about you
3. Recruitment = calling in reinforcements to be on their side when the 2 of you are fighting
4. Cruel break-up styles = such as telling others how bad you are & getting them to agree. (MORE….)

don’t stick around
If you’re staring to bore them in any relationship, expect a N to pack up & leave. They want your full attention, which includes only talking about & doing what interest them, & keeping them entertained. Otherwise – they’re on to the next person who will.

NEXT : Who Ns are attracted to (#1)

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