PREVIOUS: N Mind Games #5
MIND GAMES (cont)
Many Ns will use sexual charm to get attention, in any situation. So even when in a romantic relationship, they flash it around whether you’re with them or not.
EXP: Befriending a flesh-&-blood person who could be a potential lover, romantically flirt online, keep track of &/or contact exes, turn their head to stare at any attractive person on the street, talk at length about a new person a work, openly flirt with others right in front of you…..
The fact that disrespecting you in these ways is degrading & hurts your feelings is dismissed as irrelevant. The N wants you to feel jealous, & to complain – so they can criticize you for being unreasonable. Also –
✦ your jealousy is seen as a great compliment, basking in the ‘glory’ of what they imagine are two people fighting over them
✦ once you’re labeled insanely jealous, they can continue their bad behavior, since any objections from you will prove YOU are the problem, not them.
VARIATION : SUBTLE FLIRTING
Because it’s indirect, you bound to be confused, wondering if what you think you’re picking up is real. You know something’s off, but can’t quite put your finger on how, & certainly can’t ‘prove’ it. Of course they’ll deny it, accusing you of paranoia. And if they’re acting flirty when drinking, they don’t mean anything by it & well, what do you expect?
It can be right in front of you :
– stand slightly closer to another person than is socially acceptable / normal
– gaze into someone’s eyes a split second too long,\
– place their hand on someone’s back too long when walked then to the door
– turn the other person’s innocent comment into a sexual innuendo, saying things like “I look forward to seeing you again soon”
– exchange phone numbers, texting a ‘friend’ while on a date with you…..
The N’s hunger for constant Supply for attention & adoration make them “emotional vampires” who deprive Sensitives / Empaths of energy, a sense of emotional safety & the ability to do self-care.
Being with a psychic drainer for any length of time will leave you in pain – anxious, confused, depressed & frightened. It will affect your productivity, the ability to focus, & your overall PMES well-being.
Ns use shame to diminish you, so is very damaging. It’s especially confusing when done by a N you trust & adore. In any N relationship, the N wants to be seen as the adult & the other person as the child.
a. One form of this sadistic tactic is to use your insecurities & personal problems to always be ‘one-up’ by making you ashamed of the things you’re the most insecure about, to destroy any value you may think you have
b. Another form is by condescending & constant belittlement, talking down using “baby talk” at you, calling you immature & saying you need to grow up. Also, ‘talking over‘ you, being ‘the authority’ (I know best), & physical posturing. The implication is that only they are psychologically ‘developed’.
A form of ghosting in person! It’s passive-aggressive emotional abuse, to indicate how angry they are at you for some infraction. It’s another way to convince you how ‘bad’ you are, triggering feelings of abandonment & rejection. AND you’re powerless to fix it, because according to the N it’s “the real you”.
It shows displeasure, disapproval, & contempt in a nonverbal form – saying you’re not worth being acknowledged. It can include physical signals like glaring, making a ‘disgusted’ sound whenever they see you, deliberately walking past without eye contact, not responding to comments or questions….
If the N withdraws long enough, you can become love-starved. Then eventually they can be magnanimous & reinstate you in their good graces, creating in you an even deeper slave-bond, so you’ll do whatever they want to insure they won’t withdraw again. But of course, they’ll aways find something to stir their N-rage, & you’ll be in the dog house again. UGH!
NEXT : Mind Games #7