PREVIOUS: R-emotions #1

Art work on Pictame: by Karina Sep from Poland
Translation, from top left to top right: Embrace Change – old state, decision to change, jump head first, chaos & confusion, defense against change, depression, I embrace it, second breath, new me, joy at the top, new life.

NOTABLE: ❤️ In a comfortable space my reality will be agreed with, validated & unchallenged. I don’t have to explain myself to be understood, or justify my feelings, because we all share them.
💛 In a safe place I can ask Qs without being judged. I can say what I think & know it will be validated as my Truth. Others can disagree, but it’s OK because that allows shared understanding & growth.
💝 True dialogue happens where everyone is safe but not always comfortable.
(from Seattle Girl’s School)

REQUIREMENTS for Emotional Resilience (E>R>)
• Self-esteem : Have a clear sense of your True Self, & are comfortable with all your qualities & characteristics, even those you want to improve or enhance. You know you are a basic source of feeling loved

• Motivation : (internal locus of control) Know in your cells that you have the right to be in charge of your own life – as an adult – & are not pushed around by outside forces. So you have choices, in most situations

• Acceptance : In touch with your needs – what’s lacking, what good for you & what’s bad for you, or OK things that simply don’t suit – and when it’s time to reach out for some extra help

• Permission : Have come to believe you have a right to all your Es, because they are a basic warning system of danger, & a great source of comfort & pleasure

• Awareness: Learned to identify what Es you’re experiencing, either at the time or soon after

• Responsibility : Know that your Es come from inside, rather than being caused by external people, places or things (PPT)

• Courage : Willing to risk facing your emotions, in spite of being afraid of the pain. It will depend on having the right external support

• Capacity : Know you have a wide range of Es, that you can have more than one E at a time, & that they can sometimes be contradictory

• Focus : Notice & keep a connection to pleasant, positive Es, balancing them against the unpleasant ones

SKILLS for E>R>
• Control : Able to regulate your E responses, considering the situations you’re in

• Feel : Able to sit with Es instead of using distraction – but not necessarily alone

• Body info: Able to locate & experience physical sensations in your body that go with current Es, good at catching even subtle cues (clutch in the heart, Ick factor in the stomach, tingling nerves from fear ….)

• Triggers: Identify, accept & work on the things that set you off the most (like being accused wrongly) – buttons installed by your family

• Boundaries : Know what are your Es, & don’t take on the Es of other people in your environment, no matter how much you love or care about them

• Reality: Separate who you are at your core from any situation or person that’s causing you temporary suffering

• Time: Understand & accept that all emotional wounds take time to heal – just like physical injuries (process). And that some – like deep abandonment pain – may never completely go away, but can be greatly reduced

• Balance: Find & retreat to your personal sweet spot of peacefulness, when needed, & being presence in the moment without judgment (mindfulness)

• Support: Gravitate to healthy people who are happy to share your joys with you, as well as give you the space to grieve or work through other painful Es

• Trust : Know you don’t have to push to figure everything out, rather – allowing the time for your natural internal process & intuition to find solutions to difficult Qs in the face of traumatic events

• Attention : Keep an eye out for the things that recharge your batteries, & fill your cup., so you’ll have the reserves you need for the hard times

• Connections : Understand, accept, & empathize with other people’s feelings more easily because of being in touch with your own inner life. Can pick up social / emotional signals from others

• Gratitude : Identifying & valuing your personality assets & accomplishment, as well as the good people, places & things in your life – help put great pain or small annoyances in proper emotional proportion & perspective

• Faith : in a Power greater than yourself Who can & will help get you thru painful events

NEXT: Resilience – Spirituality