vengeance

Enneagram Type 8 – Flaws in us ALL

dmtorbi 12-step, ACoAs, al-anon, Alcoholics Anonymous, alcoholism, mental health, Personal Growth, Problem-Solving, Psychotherapy, recovery, self growth, self-help , , , ,

type 8 

PREVIOUS: Type 7 flaws


IMPORTANT
Review explanation for each category in the INTRO post 
Associated Type is inside the ( )


Type 8 COWARDICE because of Cognitive Distortions (#6)
• re. asking for support: believe that only the weak ask for support, & that others aren’t strong enough to support you anyway
• re. appearing weak: think that showing any vulnerability or anxiety is a chink in your armor, which others will take advantage of
• re. being completely honest: think that you’re always truthful, even though it’s not always true (nor possible)

Type 8 FLATTERY (#2)
• Think strategically about how to “win over” potential opponents, by flattering them & appealing to their ego or self-interest
• Think it’s better to not say something that could be construed as negative, so you use deletion as a form of flattery
• Act completely interested in someone, then abruptly or completely withdraw – a good hint you weren’t really interested in the first place

Type 8 LAZINESS – Indolence (#9)
You don’t seem indolent – in fact you often seem to be in touch with reality, but…like all of us, you can also:
• Obsess about whatever you lust after (8’s excess) as a way of avoiding feeling vulnerable
• Believe your ‘truth’ or sense of reality is accurate, so can be too lazy to think through all other possibilities that are valid
• Go into mental denial that something’s wrong, even your health

Type 8 MOODINESS (melancholy & resulting separation) (#4)
• Convinced there isn’t anyone who can or will truly support you
• Believe you can handle everything, big & small, so when you can’t, you can get lost in mental gloom & doom
• Think about the tremendous suffering & abuse in thvulnarablee world, which you believe you should be able to stop from happening

Type 8 PLANNING – as compulsion (#7)
• THINK about how to take charge
• how to not be taken advantage of
• how to get things under control
• how to expand you territory

Type 8 RESENTMENT (#1)
• be disgusted with & dismissive of someone who you believed in, when they – waste, misuse or not use – their potential
• confuse & obsess about something important you can’t make happen
• outraged when you’re not in control of something you believe you have a right to be in charge of

Type 8 STINGINESS (#5)
• about sharing power, because of assuming it’s limited. So if others have it, your own power is diminished
• about sharing your vulnerabilities, believing if you do, others will take advantage of it
• about your protectiveness, think you should & can protect others from abuse. But are highly selective about who you choose to ‘help’, & have trouble seeing when some of your behavior is abusive

Type 8 VANITY (#3)
• Think you’re stronger than other people
• Believe you can make happen anything you want to
• Think that your truth is The Truth

Type 8 VENGEANCE (#8)
What sets you off is thinking someone has –
• stepped on the down-trodden
• illegitimately challenged your authority
• not taken responsibility for their own negative behavior
• been untruthful and untrustworthy

REACTION: think about how to gain control & authority, as a way to dis-empower the other person and put them in their place
GROWTH: Ask “Am I sharing my sense of vulnerability, by showing my softer sides to both myself & others?”

ALSO
Type 8 DISTORTED LENS
One-dimensional – only seeing one version of reality
Lesson: A limited view of the truth/reality usually ignores all the other possibilities. Assuming we know exactly what’s happening doesn’t make it so, because Reality happens simultaneously as well as sequentially

Type 8 HANGING ON (Need to let go)
Hold on to: avenging wrongs done by others, being able to move mountains through your extraordinary will, energy & power, always being in command or in control
Why: To maintain your ‘sense of self as a person who’ is so strong you can protect anyone you choose, never showing weakness or vulnerability
Let go of: the belief you have to be big & strong all the time and under all circumstances

Type 8 get OFF-BALANCE by:
• someone standing up to you without backing down
• feeling highly vulnerable & not have the strength to hide itbe defended
• feeling exhausted and depleted

Type 8 MAYA (delusion)
Think that you don’t dare let your guard down because if you do, something terrible will happen to you. Most of the time – not.

Type 8 WORRY
“Who’s really strong enough to help or support me? What if I’m too strong? What if I’m not strong enough? What advantage will they take if I show my vulnerability? Why did they let me down?”

NEXT: All Flaws – Type 9

Enneagram Type 7 – Flaws in us ALL

dmtorbi 12-step, ACoAs, al-anon, Alcoholics Anonymous, alcoholism, mental health, Personal Growth, Problem-Solving, Psychotherapy, recovery, self growth, Self-esteem, self-help , , ,

type 7

 

PREVIOUS: Type 6 flaws

IMPORTANT
Review explanation for each category in the INTRO post 
Associated Type is inside the ( )


Type 7 COWARDICE because of CDs (#6)
• re. pain: you think that all ‘pain’ is a waste of time, unnecessary & something you’re not equipped to deal with
• re. restraint: believe that freedom is the absence of any limits, & that no one has the right to restract you
• re. standing (sitting) still: see it as worthless or as an opening for a flood of despair, which you’re terrified of

Type 7 FLATTERY (#2)
• Think about a possible activity someone suggested merely because it keeps you all doing something, not because it’s a very good idea at all
• Re-frame a put-down by someone, making it seem kind & generous
• Think (often unconsciously) how to befriend authority figures with flattering attention, as a way to neutralize their potential ability to limit your freedom in any way

Type 7 LAZINESS / Indolence (#9)
You almost always seem to be energetic, but a person can be highly energetic & still be indolent
• Think about pleasure but rarely about pain, if ever
• Not notice what you physical sensations are telling you
• Re-frame potential negative information into a positive, as a way of not paying attention to what’s actually happening

patienceType 7 MOODINESS (melancholy & resulting separation) (#4)
• Wonder why, with all you joy, you don’t feel full inside
• Feel an emptiness inside you don’t know what to do about
• Think that even your mild feeling of pain or suffering are catastrophic (mainly because you’re so unused to them)

Type 7 PLANNING – as compulsion (#7)
• About positive possibilities: reacting immediately to stimuli (positive or negative), so your mind goes into a “hyper-gear” of associations, where one idea follows another in rapid-fire succession

Type 7 RESENTMENT (#1)
• If you feel restricted, think that no one has the right to do that to you
• Think negative thoughts about another when they cause you pain
• Rationalize away when having actually done something wrong, or something others may see as unacceptable or below standard

Type 7 STINGINESS (#5)
• with slowing down: Believe “down time” is boring & a waste
• with patience: Think that others are terribly slow because they can’t follow your line of thinking or mental pace
• with introspection: Don’t consider your interior world as fascinating or enjoyable as external experiences

Type 7 VANITY (#3)
• Think you’re not only quicker minded than others, but that you also catch on to new ideas better than most
• Believe that most of your ideas have merit
• See yourself as capable of enjoying life more than others do

Type 7 VENGEANCE (#8)
What sets you off is thinking someone has –
• tried to limit you
• not listened to or taken your ideas seriously
• been insincere and, therefore, can’t be trusted
• acted abusively (or is considering it) and needs to be stopped

REACTION: think about how to keep yourself & others safe from this person, which may include disarming them
GROWTH: Ask “Am I willing to deal with & stay focused on painful or difficult issues?”

ALSO
Type 7 DISTORTED LENS
Tainted color (Rosy) – looking through colored lenses makes everything seem brighter than it really is
Lesson: Everything is not nearly as rosy as we might want it to be, & just thinking / wishing doesn’t make it so!

Type 7 HANGING ON
Hold on to: being fun-loving, completely free, pleasure-oriented, & your unalterable right to avoid restrictions or painful experiences
Why: to maintain your ‘sense of self as a person who’ lives in a world where anything is possible, & there are no limits unless you create them
Let go of: the belief that freedom means having no limits

Type 7 get OFF-BALANCE by:
• anyone or anything bursting your bubble of enthusiasm
• feeling trapped or cornered in any way
• someone treating you as if you shouldn’t be taken seriouslyhole-in-soul

Type 7 MAYA (delusion)
Think that you’re forced to live forever with a deep hole inside, when in fact all you need to do is go inside – because you are there!

Type 7 WORRY
“Why do they want to bring me down? Why am I not taken as seriously as I desire? Are they trying to trap me? How can I fill that empty hole inside me? Why don’t I seem to feel as deeply as others when I do feel deeply about some things?”

NEXT: All flaws – Type 8