cooperation

Principles of Character – Outline

dmtorbi 12-step, ACoAs, al-anon, Alcoholics Anonymous, alcoholism, mental health, Psychotherapy, recovery, self growth, self-help , , , , , ,

self-awarenessTHESE ARE THE QUALITIES
I aspire to, a day-at-a-time

PREVIOUS: “Keep the focus on yourself” means? (Part 2)

POSTs: What is Character ?


PRINCIPLES  —> Values —> Comments useful for Character Education

1. ATTRACTION: Courage, Discernment, Self-awareness
We attract whatever we put our attention to, which makes it bigger. If we don’t do anything to limit destructive impulses, life becomes increasingly difficult for us to control. By staying awake & using discernment, we can see the difference between what’s helping or harming us. Then we need the courage to take steps toward health, by eliminating negative desires that attract chaos into our life. (POST  : ACoAs & Risk“)

2. CAUSE & EFFECT : Accountability, Good Intentions, Restraint
According to the ‘law of the universe’ – for every action there’s an equal re-action. When we realize that we’re accountable for our thoughts, words & actions, we can own what motivates our actions, & recognize the wisdom of reasonable restraint
. calmness(POSTs : “Keep the focus on yourself” and “Fear of Responsibility“)

3. DEVOTION : Concentration, Calmness, Focus
We can connect with Creative Intelligence by taking the time to find our True Self, not the false ego. This can be done by being calm, & concentrating on deeper thoughts, whether through prayer, song, meditation or a walk in the woods. When we focus on Spiritual Principles & actions, we glimpse the Divine

4. FAITH : Trust, Hope, Patience
There is a Loving Intelligence that pervades all things. What’s needed is to hold on to our trust & hope, even when living in the midst of uncertainty. Faith is the willingness to take the next step required without fear or looking back, with the patience to allow Divine Order to work-through our situation without trying to force solutions.. (POST “Lack of Trust and Healthy Trusting“)

5. FORGIVENESS : Compassion, Mercy, Understandingforgiveness
Forgiveness frees us from the damaging image of ourself as a victim. It dissolves the poison of resentment which blocks healing & growth. Choosing a new understanding of our pain & trauma, it gives us the freedom to treat ourself with mercy & compassion, as well as to those who have wronged us. This reconnects us to our Real Self. (many POSTs : …. Forgiveness)

6. GRATITUDE: Generosity, Magnanimity, Appreciation
True Universal Reality provides abundance. When we’re grateful & appreciate what life has to offer, it shows H.P. that we accept whatever’s been given to us, & therefore lacking nothing essential.
To attract more prosperity, feel generous toward all life. This opens the flow of supply into our world – because whatever we give to life returns to us.

7. HARMONY : Optimism, Co-operation, Enthusiasm
copoperationA Universal law : We can choose what attitudes we want to focus on, such as optimism & cooperation, rather than being a victim of painful experiences, It allows being in control of ourself, & having inner quiet.
Enthusiasm means to willingly, happily perform all types of jobs (large or small) which generate beneficial energy, making us far more likely to succeed.

8. HUMILITY : Modesty, Unpretentious, Gentleness
Being modest & un-pretentious keeps us from puffing ourself up with self-importance. God in His own way & time provides us with whatever we need, as we rid ourself of pride, & maintain an attitude of gentleness & acceptance. (POSTs “Humiliation“, and “Arrogance vs Humility”)

9. INTEGRITY : Truthfulness, Courage, Sincerity, Honesty
“Earning future trust by accurately reporting past facts.”
It means to act according to the values, beliefs & principles we claim to hold (internally consistent, opposite of hypocrisy).
The connection to our Inner Self is strengthened when we align our thoughts, words & actions with Truth, & have the courage to act with sincerity & honesty. It’s letting go of “our will run riot”, & honor the Divine Will.   (POSTs  “Why ACoAs Lie“)

10. LOVE : Compassion, Kindness, Nurturing, Self-Esteem, Self-Respect
serenityAll living things need love to survive. We must first take care of our own need for it so we don’t become emotionally toxic. When we shift self-talk from the Inner Critic (Introject) to the Inner Companion (Loving Parent), we increase self-esteem & self-respect. Then we’re free to be the helpful, caring & thoughtful people we want to be.

11. SURRENDER : Acceptance, Freedom, Contentment
When we accept what’s happening to us in the moment as part of a grander plan needed for our growth – we experience a new freedom. We welcome whatever comes into our life, surrendering to a Higher will. This awareness provides contentment & peace.   (POST :“Acceptance & ACoAs”)

NEXT: Considering abuse

PURPOSE of Emotions : Motivation (Part 1)

dmtorbi 12-step, ACoAs, al-anon, Alcoholics Anonymous, alcoholism, coaching, mental health, Problem-Solving, Psychotherapy, recovery, self growth, self-help , , , , , , ,

I NEVER REALIZED –
how much my feelings make me do things

Previous: For Decisions #2

 


2. INDIVIDUAL NEEDS (cont)
d. To PREDICT BEHAVIOR
e. For DECISION-MAKING

f. To MOTIVATE Actions
DEF: MOTIVATION is the driving force behind the push to achieve goals (internal & external factors that cause & direct behavior), and it’s our emotions (Es) that prepare us to take those actions.
The urge to act is hardwired to specific emotions, which are automatically built in & produce physical sensations – muscles tensed or relaxed, blood vessels dilated or contracted…. These sensations signal us either to urgently do something or stay in a comfortable state

ACTIVE : In all motivation theories, ‘goals’ are very important. One form of goal setting is expressed in a Feedback Loop concerned with how people self-regulate in pursuit of their goals. A Self-regulation System tries to keep some condition fixed, even in the face of various kinds of disturbances from outside.
D = a Reference Value, either as a goal or standard you want & an undesired state to avoid, OR where behavior is adjusted so that discrepancy between input & goal is reduced.
A = an input sensations coming in, to tell you how far you are from achieving the goal or avoiding the anti-goal.
B = an output, a behavior or motor activity to move you closer to the goal
C = a mental comparison, the conscious or unconscious appraisal of how near you are to the goal (MORE…. “Emotions & Motivation“)

AVOIDANCE: By nature we’re motivated to take specific actions in order to experience pleasant emotions & minimize the probability of feeling unpleasant ones. (7 Negative feedback loops)
EXP: As a kid in school, what made you decide to raised a hand to answer a question – or not ? It depended on which felt safer / better: the pleasure & recognition of answering it right, or avoiding the embarrassment of getting it wrong
EXP: You might participate in social activities or hobbies that provide a sense of happiness, contentment, or excitement. On the other hand, you’ll probably avoid situations that could lead to boredom, sadness, or anxiety.

RISK: Action requires risk, & the willingness to take risks is rooted in our Emotions, which are themselves based on moral convictions – those values that do move us, not those that ought to move us.
When confronted with a new experience, opportunity or danger – we wonder: Should I be courageous? withdraw? hedge my bets? What’s an appropriate risk?
To make sense of an unexpected experience we need to interpret what it means:  Is it good for us, bad for us or irrelevant?
Our values —-> generate —-> the emotions that inspire us to act.

Es for solutionsOBSTACLES: Emotions can help us overcome obstacles in our life. EXP:
• anxiety when you’re about to take a test – although uncomfortable – helps motivate you to study to do your best
• anger can motivate you to protest injustices,  & help override the fear you might feel at a demonstration or rally
• guilt may keep you sticking to a diet or finishing a work assignment.
It’s not to say that we should feel guilty, just that it’s what prompts some to follow through with a difficult project or goal

LIMITATIONS:  Es cannot fix problems – we can’t ‘anger’ something into a solution. We also need free will. Sometimes we can have a strong desire for something but never create an action-plan to go after it. Es may be a driving factor in wanting to change, but they have to be combined with a desire to act, in order to become motivation.
And once we have the motivation, there has to be actual carry-through, the signals sent to our muscles that allow us to move. However, if Es are too overwhelming, they will prevent us from taking any action at all.

NEXT: Motivation #2